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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
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    Default It’s Hip to Be Round

    THIS summer the unvarying male uniform in the precincts of Brooklyn cool has been a pair of shorts cut at knickers length, a V-neck Hanes T-shirt, a pair of generic slip-on sneakers and a straw fedora. Add a leather cuff bracelet if the coolster is gay.



    In truth this get-up was pretty much the unvarying male uniform last summer also, but this year an unexpected element has been added to the look, and that is a burgeoning potbelly one might term the Ralph Kramden.

    Too pronounced to be blamed on the slouchy cut of a T-shirt, too modest in size to be termed a proper beer gut, developed too young to come under the heading of a paunch, the Ralph Kramden is everywhere to be seen lately, or at least it is in the vicinity of the Brooklyn Flea in Fort Greene, the McCarren Park Greenmarket and pretty much any place one is apt to encounter fans of Grizzly Bear.

    What the trucker cap and wallet chain were to hipsters of a moment ago, the Kramden is to what my colleague Mike Albo refers to as the “coolios” of now. Leading with a belly is a male privilege of long standing, of course, a symbol of prosperity in most cultures and of freedom from anxieties about body image that have plagued women since Eve.

    Until recently, men were under no particular obligation to exhibit bulging deltoids and shredded abdominals; that all changed, said David Zinczenko, the editor of Men’s Health, when women moved into the work force in numbers. “The only ripples Ralph Kramden” and successors like Mike Brady of “The Brady Bunch” had to demonstrate were in their billfolds, said Mr. Zinczenko, himself a dogged crusader in the battle of the muffin top. “But that traditional male role has changed.”

    As women have come to outnumber men in the workplace, it becomes more important than ever for guys to armor themselves, Mr. Zinczenko said, with the “complete package of financial and physical,” to billboard their abilities as survivors of the cultural and economic wilds.

    This makes sense, in a way, but how does one account for the new prevalence of Ralph Kramdens? Have men given in or given up? Are they finished with asserting the privileges that have always accrued to men. Or is the Ralph Kramden Barack Obama’s fault?

    Hipsters, by nature contrarian, according to Dan Peres, the editor of Details, may be reacting in opposition to a president who is not only, as the press relentlessly reminds us, So Darn Smart, but also hits the gym every morning, has a conspicuously flat belly and, when not rescuing the economy or sparring with Kim Jong-il, shoots hoops.

    “If we had a slob in the White House, all the hipsters would turn into some walking Chippendales calendar,” Mr. Peres said. Instead, the streets of Williamsburg are crowded with men who are, as he noted, “proudly rocking a gut.” Mr. Peres’s magazine has a term for these people: the new “poor-geoisie.” But the people lining up for $13 lobster rolls at the Brooklyn Flea last weekend hardly looked as if they were worried about making the rent.

    “I sort of think the six-pack abs obsession got so prissy it stopped being masculine,” is how Aaron Hicklin, the editor of Out, explains the emergence of the Ralph Kramden. What once seemed young and hot, for gay and straight men alike, now seems passé. Like manscaping, spray-on tans and other metrosexual affectations, having a belly one can bounce quarters off suggests that you may have too much time on your hands.

    “It’s not cool to be seen spending so much time fussing around about your body,” Mr. Hicklin said.

    And so guys can happily and guiltlessly go to seed.

    Women have almost never gotten a pass on the need to maintain their bodies, while men always have, said Robert Morea, a personal fitness trainer. (Full disclosure: my own.) It would be too much, he added, to suggest that “potbellies are suddenly O.K.,” but as lean muscle and functionality become the new gym mantras, hypertrophied He-Men with grapefruit biceps and blister-pack abs have come to resemble specimens from a diorama of “A Vanished World.”

    “When do you ever see that guy, anyway?” Mr. Morea asked, referring to those legendary Men’s Health cover models, with their rippling torsos and famished smiles. “The only time you really see that guy, he’s standing in front of an Abercrombie & Fitch store.” Perhaps, he suggested, there is really only one of them. “It’s the same guy. They just move him around.”
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing!
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    Default

    Wow. If that's true, then Northern Kentucky is the sexiest place on earth.

  3. #3
    Good Enough Thai Boxer 9901's Avatar
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    08.28.16 @ 11:47 PM
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    So....its cool to look round? What happened to wanting a 6 pack and all that mess? Oh well, im slightly round and married. No worries for me I guess lol
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  4. #4
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 12:58 PM
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    I dig the term . . . The Ralph Kramden. Not a lot of people would even know who that is nowadays.
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

    "Kids, just say NO to marriage". (Al Bundy)

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  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! twonabomber's Avatar
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    i'm in shape...round is a shape, right?
    "is this a good show tonight, or fuckin' what?" - DLR, Montreal, 11/10/07

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  6. #6
    Hang 'Em High RRMB's Avatar
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    05.21.17 @ 06:42 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by twonabomber View Post
    i'm in shape...round is a shape, right?
    I used that line on my Dr. She said; "Pete, you really need to look at getting in to shape." "Doc, round IS a shape."

    With that she handed me my blood pressure pills and kicked me, and my 300 pound ass, out of her office. HaHaaaaa






    EDIT...since then I have lost 25 pounds.
    Last edited by RRMB; 08.16.09 at 11:30 AM.
    "Jesus, that fucker just crawled out of his hen house that was destroyed by the Alabama tornados. Fucking 280mph plus winds sucked the gleam off this bitch and passed it on to a bird in Rhoad Island." - Hurricane Halen 5/3/11 (about my birthday chicken from seenbad)

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  7. #7
    Atomic Punk
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    07.24.11 @ 04:36 PM
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    I suppose it's kinda funny and all but there is something very serious about this...and about making light of it. It's the continuing decline in standards for one's health and looks. Whatever happened to a good dose of self-loathing and a desire to look better, to be healthier?

    I think when people stop belittling themselves and others over being fat, people have stopped caring.

    I for one still care very deeply about being over weight. I want to continue losing it. I am not content to be round nor do I ever want to look in the mirror and giggle dismissingly at myself. Rather, I want to continue looking in the mirror and spewing profanities like "you fucking fat piece of shit!! I hate you!!! I wish you were never born!!" Hopefully, doing so will get me over the line I need to cross to finally achieve the focus needed to stick a feather down my throat and purge the vile food I stuff my face with.
    Stay out of it, dude.


    I am Van Halen.

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk
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    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  9. #9
    ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ ○ Number 47's Avatar
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  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! Rokgtar's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Number 47 View Post

    That looks like a snake and a rooster in a 69!

  11. #11
    Good Enough
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    Default

    I'll bet this was written by a fat guy.

 

 

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