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  1. #1
    Good Enough
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    07.19.13 @ 08:52 PM
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    Default Kids do the damndest things...

    I'm sorry, but tonight I saw one of the most righteous things a toddler has ever done. Truly post-worthy. Maybe y'all have some stories of your own to match or top it, and we can make us a little thread outta this. Regardless, I gotta dedicate at least one post to my little neighbor Charlie.

    Charlie is 15 months old, and built to hold up a liquor store - becasue he's that stocky, OR because he's that cute, take your pick. Being named Chuck, rather big and adorable myself, I never fail to remind Charlie's mom and dad of my vociferous approval. Belches and farts like a champion, this kid.

    My man.

    So while Dad's getting more beers, Big Sister and her friend are performing "Rent" in a refrigerator carton, and said friend's dad is tipping the carton back and forth, Mom, Charlie and I are hanging out near the flowers. Well, Charlie's a spontaneous sort, and like a commando, he's suddenly on a mission.

    He goes commando, tugging first one strap of his diaper, then the other, neatly stripping it off like Ron Jeremy in a tear-away loin cloth.

    Chomping his pacifier with Little Caesar elan, he arcs cleanly through the adults and the cardboard skyscraper to the concrete walkway that traces the perimeter of the yard. And then, with perfect premeditation and focus on his target square, holding his diaper ever so precisely aloft, he proceeds to squat and pee on the walkway.

    Then, in a perfect wax-on-wax-off motion, he arcs the diaper ever so gracefully down, and mops up his puddle with it.

    I see great things ahead for little neighbor Charlie.
    Last edited by The SLAWTERHOUSE Bug; 06.18.09 at 10:36 PM. Reason: tried, but couldn't get at the typo in the title...
    Classic Van Halen. In Pace Requiescant.

    "...sure I'm on zoloft. That's so I don't hafta kill none o' y'all..." - Mike Tyson

    and by the way...

    Eat Us And Smile.

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 07:00 PM
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    Cool. Both of my boys have done & do similar things today at ages 4 & 6. The incident in my sig takes the cake to date though.
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

  3. #3
    Good Enough
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    07.19.13 @ 08:52 PM
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    Default

    "...I have good aim."

    Classic Van Halen. In Pace Requiescant.

    "...sure I'm on zoloft. That's so I don't hafta kill none o' y'all..." - Mike Tyson

    and by the way...

    Eat Us And Smile.

  4. #4
    Future's in the past....
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    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
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    Default

    I came home one day when our middle son (about 3 at the time) was making a hell of a mess in the living room. I'm standing there ranting at him and he's just standing there with this goofy grin on his face. I told him to wipe that smile off his face and he goes running down the hallway....my wife catches him in the bathroom taking a towel to his face trying to "wipe" the smile off.
    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
    12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 07:00 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by The SLAWTERHOUSE Bug View Post
    "...I have good aim."


    Yeah, it was last Saturday. We were both standing there & I just burst out laughing & walked away 'till I could compose myself enough to mete out the proper punishment. Mrs. TVH was literally biting her tongue to keep from laughing. It was a priceless moment. You can't make up stuff that good.
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

 

 

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