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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! Buckeye's Avatar
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    06.09.04
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    Columbus, Ohio
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    2,875
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning/5150
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    Mean Street/Summer Nights
    Last Online

    10.30.17 @ 01:16 PM
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    Liked 91 Times in 38 Posts

    Default Texts From Last Night


  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing! Buckeye's Avatar
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    06.09.04
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    Columbus, Ohio
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    Favorite VH Album

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    10.30.17 @ 01:16 PM
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    Liked 91 Times in 38 Posts

    Default

    Some of my personal faves:

    (330): I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.

    (314): Most awkward sex ever...
    (314): And im texting you in the middle.

    (325): she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.

    (908): It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers

    (818): i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
    (818): and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.22.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    texas
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    Favorite VH Album

    1984 / 5150
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    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
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    Default

    Funniest website EVER. My abs STILL hurt from reading and hearing that stuff this weekend.

    My top couple so far:

    "Let's get this party started! These Coronas aren't gonna throw themselves up!"

    "I found a six pack in my closet and a twelve pack under my bed. Aparently I'm an alcoholic squirrel."

    LOL!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    01.27.03
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    10
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    Dusseldorf, Germany.
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    They're all shit
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Default

    I can't believe I find this thread ten minutes before I have to go out. This site is everything I have been looking for all my life. I need look no further ever again. For anything.

    My favourite so far ......

    (206):
    The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...

    (425):
    Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  5. #5
    Good Enough SassyLassy's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.17.05
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    Texas
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    1,648
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
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    In a Simple Rhyme
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    04.27.16 @ 06:28 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sixstring View Post

    "Let's get this party started! These Coronas aren't gonna throw themselves up!"
    That's CLASSIC! I'm using that next weekend
    ***OFFCIAL TLW 8 VIRGIN/SURVIVOR!***

    "Mean ass calendar!"-TST

    "GYPSY DILDO PUNKS!"-Harry Dean Stanton

    I'm Polish but I don't speak any of the language or know anything about it's culture other than getting mowed down by Hitler...-fast98dodge

    My head is freshly shaven and I have cleaned the house before my departure-Viking preparing for TLW

  6. #6
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.13.03
    Location
    Right here.
    Posts
    4,121
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Drop Dead Legs
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    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
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    Liked 17 Times in 10 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    "(713):
    I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now."


    "(916):
    Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
    "


    "(970):
    I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower."


    "(619):
    Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me."



    "(662):
    Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.

    (901):
    BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that"



    "(920):
    He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car."


    "(203):
    Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more."


    "(530):
    We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers."


    "(215):
    He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."



    I love this website...



    "
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
    Quint- Boat Captain
    --------------------------------------------------


    "As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly"
    Arthur Carlson- Radio Station GM
    --------------------------------------------------


    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
    Clark W. Griswold- Food Additive Designer
    ---------------------------------------------------


    VIVA TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND!
    Round I = Done!
    Round II = Done!
    Round III = Done!
    Round IV = Done!
    Round V = Done!
    Round VI = Done!
    Round VII = Done!
    Round VIII = Done!

  7. #7
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.13.03
    Location
    Right here.
    Posts
    4,121
    Favorite VH Album

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    Favorite VH Song

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    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
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    Liked 17 Times in 10 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    "(978):
    i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running."
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
    Quint- Boat Captain
    --------------------------------------------------


    "As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly"
    Arthur Carlson- Radio Station GM
    --------------------------------------------------


    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
    Clark W. Griswold- Food Additive Designer
    ---------------------------------------------------


    VIVA TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND!
    Round I = Done!
    Round II = Done!
    Round III = Done!
    Round IV = Done!
    Round V = Done!
    Round VI = Done!
    Round VII = Done!
    Round VIII = Done!

  8. #8
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.13.03
    Location
    Right here.
    Posts
    4,121
    Favorite VH Album

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    Favorite VH Song

    Drop Dead Legs
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    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
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    Liked 17 Times in 10 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    The most honest person ever...

    "(301):
    If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?

    (513):
    Get out now."

    ...love it.
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
    Quint- Boat Captain
    --------------------------------------------------


    "As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly"
    Arthur Carlson- Radio Station GM
    --------------------------------------------------


    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
    Clark W. Griswold- Food Additive Designer
    ---------------------------------------------------


    VIVA TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND!
    Round I = Done!
    Round II = Done!
    Round III = Done!
    Round IV = Done!
    Round V = Done!
    Round VI = Done!
    Round VII = Done!
    Round VIII = Done!

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.22.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    texas
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    9,852
    Favorite VH Album

    1984 / 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    the ones with ed on them.
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    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
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    Donor

    Default

    "The bridesmaids come in huge, huger, WTF, and Free Willy. It looks like the Hindenburg walking down the isle."
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.22.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    texas
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    9,852
    Favorite VH Album

    1984 / 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    the ones with ed on them.
    Last Online

    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.22.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    9,852
    Favorite VH Album

    1984 / 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    the ones with ed on them.
    Last Online

    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.22.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    texas
    Posts
    9,852
    Favorite VH Album

    1984 / 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    the ones with ed on them.
    Last Online

    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  13. #13
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.13.99
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    Enumclaw, WA
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    Unchained
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    12.14.17 @ 01:36 AM
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    Liked 84 Times in 35 Posts

    Default

    (617):

    You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  14. #14
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
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    12.14.17 @ 01:36 AM
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    Default

    (406):

    she pinky promised me she was 18
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Anything Mike played on
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Most of these sound like lines that were too over-the-top for Two and a Half Men.


    genius fuckin website!
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

 

 

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