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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    Default 'Villages' Retirement Home is Widower's Sex Paradise

    Lady LAKE, Fla. It's 11 p.m. at the Bourbon Street Bar, and Roselyn's gyrating her hips to the blues band, Sue's sipping a cocktail and flirting with her new boyfriend, and Alan is scanning the crowd for cute girls.

    "See those two?" a buxom blonde asks, pointing to an elegant couple at the bar. "They were caught having sex in their golf cart a few weeks ago. It happens a lot!"

    Welcome to ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.

    It's a Thursday night at one of a half-dozen hot spots at the 20,000-acre Central Florida complex called The Villages, the largest gated retirement community in America and one of the most popular destinations for New Yorkers in their golden years where the female-to-male ratio runs 10 to 1.

    It's a widower's paradise, and the word on the street is that there's a big black market for Viagra.

    Though The Villages which spans three counties with 40,000 homes and more than 70,000 residents boasts 34 golf courses, nine country clubs, two downtown squares and a slew of restaurants and bars, getting lucky is one of the residents' primary pastimes.

    The huge complex began growing rapidly in the mid-1990s, and reported cases of gonorrhea rocketed from 152 to 245, of syphilis rose from 17 to 33, and of chlamydia from 52 to 115 among those 55 and older in Florida from 1995 to 2005.

    The state's sexually transmitted disease rate among those over 65 is one of the fastest growing in the country, one report claims.

    In 2006, a local gynecologist reported that she treated more cases of herpes and human papillomavirus at The Villages than she did when she worked in Miami.

    "I get offers for sex all the time," brags Dave, 70, who, like others who spoke about their sexually active set, asked that his real name not be used, "especially by women in their 70s. They say, 'Are you busy tonight? I'll show you a good time.' "

    One overly charming lady-killer known as "Mr. Midnight" boasted of one of his conquests last year: "Absolutely beautiful. I've had her a few times. She comes over, takes a shower, jumps in bed, and then gets dressed and leaves. She's simply the best."

    His story was told by Andrew Blechman, author of "Leisureville," about communities like The Villages.

    "There is lots of romance around here," said Jean, a 63-year-old retired teacher. "But most of the men want a one-night meaningful relationship."

    Her friend Louise agrees.

    "A lot of the men down here are cheaper than heck," she says, "and a lot of the women are extremely brazen. Some girls will go into the parking lot with a man and come back a half-hour later like nothing happened!"

    "We've had some of those complaints," said a laughing Lt. Laurie Davis of the Lady Lake Police Department, ticking off other offenses, like drunken driving in golf carts, illegal drug use, and bar fights.

    "Whatever you know about 20-year-olds, it's the same with seniors," said Roselyn Shelley, 68, a divorced former dancer.

    Sue Rice, a blonde who will only admit to being over 60 but who looks to be about 80 and dances like she's 14, has hooked up with Larry Tucker, an ex-banker about a decade her junior.

    Tucker sports a gold charm around his neck that reads, "Bankers do it with interest."

    "Feel this," Rice says, bouncing up from her bar stool and pinching her slim waist. "My body is the same as it was in high school! He can't keep up with me!"

    According to Alan, a swarthy 62-year-old, there's a thriving black market for little blue Viagra pills.

    "I did it once," he said. "I paid 12 bucks for a single pill."

    Local cops just try to keep up.

    "You see two 70-year-olds with canes fighting over a woman and you think, 'Oh, jeez,' " Lt. Davis said.
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack. -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Future's in the past....
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    Default

    Yep, and they have the problems that teens have as well....

    STDs Running Rampant In Retirement Community

    Doctor Blames Viagra, Lack Of Sex Education


    http://www.clickorlando.com/news/9283707/detail.html

    Doctors said sexually transmitted diseases among senior citizens are running rampant at a popular Central Florida retirement community, according to a Local 6 News report.

    A gynecologist at The Villages community near Orlando, Fla., said she treats more cases of herpes and the human papilloma virus in the retirement community than she did in the city of Miami.

    "Yeah, they are very shocked (to hear the diagnosis)," gynecologist Dr. Colleen McQuade said. "I had a patient in her 80s."

    "More and more senior citizens are ending up in the gynecologist office, and their diagnosis is a sexually transmitted disease," Local 6 reporter Vanessa Medina said.

    Local 6 featured Louis Franklin, who used to date in the community at least three times a week.

    "I have had a better dating life since I have been here than I have ever had," Franklin said. "I know there are things going around."

    A doctor blamed Viagra, a lack of sex education and no risk for pregnancy for the spike in sexually transmitted diseases at The Villages.

    "All I can repeat are the things I have heard which are things like, 'Should I bring the little blue pills over tonight?'" community singles group president Richard Matwyshen said.
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  3. #3
    Atomic Punk
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    I've heard of this before. Hey at least they're enjoying their golden years....just get 'em some antibiotics and let 'em go!

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Even old people need a little T&A.
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  5. #5
    Eruption
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    This story reminds me of Brett's conversation with a co-worker and what happens after he kills someone in Halo.

    Tea bag.

  6. #6
    Future's in the past....
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZeoBandit View Post
    Even old people need a little T&A.

    Yep, even when their T's are hanging as low as their A.
    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
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    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk edwardv's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 04:53 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by broken9500 View Post
    I've heard of this before. Hey at least they're enjoying their golden years....just get 'em some antibiotics and let 'em go!
    No antibiotics for Herpes... or HPV.....Herpes is for life....HPV gets laser treatment but its tough to get rid of.
    EVH 1979: Well, actually it's not much of a vacation, because we run everything ourselves. We design our own album cover, we have to be in the office every day to sign checks - the whole corporation revolves around us. Nothing can be done without our approval. We even have photo approval.

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    No matter how old I get, my definition of a "sex paradise" will never be a village of horny 80-year-old women.







    Don't read this.

  9. #9
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
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    Default

    to fight the spread of STD's they are now making condoms specifically for the senior market....they have suspenders attached

    bow ties are optional

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk
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    07.24.11 @ 04:36 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by edwardv View Post
    No antibiotics for Herpes... or HPV.....Herpes is for life....HPV gets laser treatment but its tough to get rid of.
    that is correct. I wasn't really referring to HPV or herpes...and I was just making a joke....but hell, if I'm 90 and in an old folks home and I catch herpes getting me some...i don't think I'll be that heartbroken.

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daisy Hill View Post
    to fight the spread of STD's they are now making condoms specifically for the senior market....they have suspenders attached

    bow ties are optional
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Daisy Hill View Post
    to fight the spread of STD's they are now making condoms specifically for the senior market....they have suspenders attached

    bow ties are optional


    I'm sure one of the old guys has already retro-fitted one of their sock holder thingies...

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing!
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    Wow. Only in Florida.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk
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    Quote Originally Posted by ZeoBandit View Post
    Even old people need a little T&A.
    Even if it's just above their knees...
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack. -- Gen. George S. Patton

 

 

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