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  1. #1
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    ***NEWS FLASH FROM VAN GULLY MEDIA***


    Scientist, at an undisclosed location, have
    successfully grafted together two,formally
    of the legendary rock group Van halen, floundering lead singers, David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar.
    When I asked the lead scientist, and spokesman for the doctors, why they performed such an odd and disturbing procedure, they said, "We did it for the fans. We heard one group of fans complaining about hair loss and diminished vocal skills. We heard another complain about weight gain and cheesey lyrics. One group was always saying or insinuating the other was wrong and that they were right. Well, we wanted to bring them all together and give them the "Best Of Both Worlds." I and my crack team of scientist and surgeons have created the ultimate rock frontman, and we think everyone will be extremely pleased with the results."
    The doctor refused to go into detail how they combined the two out-going frontman, but said it took the state of the art equipment,a ten man surgical team, gene splicing, liposuction, hair transplant; along with Rogaine injections, cat gut , and a few gallons of Jack Daniels whiskey and Cabo Wabo tequlia. "Deciding on who's brain to use wasn't easy," said the doctor. "So we took one half from each man and slapped them together. We did pretty much the same with the vocal cords. Now we have a Rock 'N'Roll ueber-man, that cannot be stopped. Matter of fact, just 12 hours after the surgery, he was jumping off his bed doing that crazy split thing, at the same time hitting the most incredible high pitch war cry. Immediately afterwards he had relations with four of our female nursing staff and wrote a beautiful ballad about it. It was truely a marvelous site to behold."
    Warner Bros. records are very pleased with the results of the experimental operation and are planning on unveiling "Sammy Lee Rothgar" on the Rosie O'Donnell show. The date of the unveiling has yet to be decided. "There still is some post-op swelling that Sammy Lee has to get over and there's the arguing/talking with himself thing that the doctors are trying to correct," said a Warner Bros. spokesman. When asked what Sammy Lee was arguing with himself about, all the WB spokesman would say was, "Panama Red or Maui Waui." Michael Anthony, when he learned of the integration, was overheard saying, "Fuckin' cool, man!" Gary Cherone, the third former singer for Van Halen, was apparently very miffed at not being included in this scientific opus. "They could have used my butt; I have the best butt of all the singers, just asked Eddie." Edward and Alex Van Halen could not be reach for comment.
    "Gully, watch yourself. I am dead serious." - Brett Norton, Emperor of VHLinks.com

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing! Rokgtar's Avatar
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    09.27.16 @ 03:41 PM
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    That is fucking HILARIOUS, man! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

    Hey, those guys do have one thing in common - a BULBOUS NOSE!!! Whose nose did they "pick" to keep?

  3. #3
    Unchained rxman's Avatar
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    02.19.12 @ 12:38 PM
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    Donor

    Too funny.

    Now we can all live together peacefully.

    Well except for the Cherone fans.
    "The sound of Van Halen was meant to spill out, all over your stereo and ruin the rest of your record collection "...David Lee Roth

    Check out one of the best bands to come out of Arizona. Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. www.rogerclyne.net

  4. #4
    Baluchitherium JWS_5150's Avatar
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    05.18.09 @ 10:19 PM
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    Donor

    [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img] [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

    Good one [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
    I'm one of those crazies on your block.

    writing

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium
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    09.15.15 @ 07:40 AM
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    cherone has fans? [img]smilies/wink.gif[/img]

  6. #6
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Does this mean Dave and Sammy are both dead?
    [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img] [img]smilies/cry.gif[/img]
    <i>"The great controversy will be ended, and the Mighty Van Halen shall reign forever. Amen."</i>

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    09.23.16 @ 05:39 PM
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    mmmmm sometimes i think my nose may be to big.
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

    1love4chi

    Deftones , now and forever and only second to VH.

    Dave or Sammy ?.........pffffft Eddie.

  8. #8
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    07.10.16 @ 04:31 PM
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    Sammy Lee can be seen driving a '53 Mercury with a Ferrari engine well above 55 MPH listening to a dub tape of Cream and Ohio Players songs.

  9. #9
    Super Duper Frontman YankeeRose's Avatar
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    09.27.16 @ 11:50 AM
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    It's too bad someone couldn't make a picture of their two faces morphed together like they do on Conan O'Brian.

    That would be cool. [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
    Right Now you're reading my post!


    I can't stand rap....people who can't sing do rap....you can sing rebellion as well as talk it....Hitler would have been in a rap band...

    -- John Entwistle

    2006 VHL Fantasy Hockey Champ!

  10. #10
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by Rokgtar:
    That is fucking HILARIOUS, man! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

    Hey, those guys do have one thing in common - a BULBOUS NOSE!!! Whose nose did they "pick" to keep?<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    They Doc said they kept Dave's nose and Sammy's teeth. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
    "Gully, watch yourself. I am dead serious." - Brett Norton, Emperor of VHLinks.com

  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    09.23.16 @ 05:39 PM
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    my teeth are big and i pick my big nose to much.
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

    1love4chi

    Deftones , now and forever and only second to VH.

    Dave or Sammy ?.........pffffft Eddie.

  12. #12
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by YankeeRose:
    It's too bad someone couldn't make a picture of their two faces morphed together like they do on Conan O'Brian.

    That would be cool. [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>




    "Sammy Lee Rothgar" Sighting! [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
    <i>"The great controversy will be ended, and the Mighty Van Halen shall reign forever. Amen."</i>

  13. #13
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by I'LL WAIT:




    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Damn, Sammy Lee looks like James Hetfield
    circa 1985. I pray he doesn't sound or act like him. [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]
    "Gully, watch yourself. I am dead serious." - Brett Norton, Emperor of VHLinks.com

  14. #14
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    Ya, he does look a bit like James doesn't he? It was hard to find a pic of both Dave and Sam where the both had the same approximate facial expression. The youthful look is the result of using a younger pic of Dave. It's pretty much Dave's hair and eyes, Sam's nose and mouth, and equal parts of their combined facial structure. Perhaps it would have been more appropriate to use this pic [img]smilies/biggrin.gif[/img]

    Cheers!

    [ May 27, 2001 at 12:20 PM: Message edited by: I'LL WAIT ]
    <i>"The great controversy will be ended, and the Mighty Van Halen shall reign forever. Amen."</i>

  15. #15
    Super Duper Frontman YankeeRose's Avatar
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    09.27.16 @ 11:50 AM
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    LOL! great job I'LL WAIT! [img]smilies/smile.gif[/img]


    I think he looks a little like a young Peter Frampton. [img]smilies/cool.gif[/img]
    Right Now you're reading my post!


    I can't stand rap....people who can't sing do rap....you can sing rebellion as well as talk it....Hitler would have been in a rap band...

    -- John Entwistle

    2006 VHL Fantasy Hockey Champ!

 

 

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