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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing!
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    Default Guitar World's Top 100 Worst Guitar Solo's of All Time

    http://www.guitarworld.com/article/1...t_guitar_solos

    Here's the top 10:
    1. POISON
    “Guitar Solo”
    Swallow This…Live!
    (1991) GUITARIST: C.C. DeVille

    Remember when you were in high school and your novice shredder best friend kept insisting he’d “almost nailed” Eddie Van Halen’s “Eruption” solo, and you’d be stuck in his room wanting to kill yourself as he tried to play it again and again? That’s a little what listening to C.C.’s jaw-dropping nineminute solo spot is like. Only instead of your friend going “No, wait!” and starting over every time he fucks up, there’s an arena full of idiots loudly cheering him on. And just to show you the breadth of his chops, C.C. also throws in a messy attempt at some “Hot Club”–style gypsy jazz licks (Django Reinhardt would surely be envious of the tres magnifique tones C.C. coaxes from his pointyheadstocked ax), a touch of polka, some searing Miami Vice blues bends and, of course, several more dive bombs and two-handed tapping runs whenever inspiration fails. Completely devoid of taste, structure or steady tempo, this should be required listening for budding guitarists everywhere. Surely they can’t do any worse.

    2 BLUE CHEER
    “Summertime Blues”
    Vincebus Eruptum(1968)
    GUITARIST: Leigh Stephens

    The heaviest band of their day, Blue Cheer made a pretty convincing case for being the lousiest as well. Guitarists and rock critics alike have spent decades debating the worst aspect of their lone hit: Is it the witless whammy bar break in the first verse? The Hendrixon– Boone’s Farm–and-Quaaludes guitar solo? The agonizing onenote- at-a-time full-octave climb to the final verse? Whichever you choose, there’s no doubt that the cumulative effect had Eddie Cochran turning in his grave like a rotisserie chicken.

    3 CARLOS SANTANA
    “The Game of Love”
    Shaman (2002)

    We were delighted to see Carlos get his due from a new generation of music fans, even if it meant he had to share the stage at the Grammys with that loser from Matchbox 20. But with “The Game of Love” he totally crossed the line, teaming his guitar with Michelle Branch’s whiny-ass voice to create one of the most uncannily annoying hooks—“Uh-hiiii-yai-i-I,” anyone?— ever waxed. A “little bit of this” and a “little bit of that” will truly drive you all the way up the fucking wall—and make you pray Carlos ditches the guest vocalists next time around.

    4 CREAM
    Falstaff beer 1967 radio spot
    Various bootlegs
    GUITARIST: Eric Clapton

    Clapton quit the Yardbirds in 1965, objecting to their new, commercially oriented direction. Yet only two years later, Slowhand himself could be heard wielding his patented “woman tone” on this radio ad for Falstaff beer. Turning “Sunshine of Your Love” on its side and rewriting it as “Falstaff, the Thirst-Slaker,” Clapton and Jack Bruce touted the joys of alcohol to impressionable youngsters throughout America. Still feeling guilty about it three decades later, the guitarist (and recovering substance abuser) tried to replenish his karma points by establishing a rehab clinic on the easily accessible Caribbean island of Antigua.

    5 THE BEATLES
    “All You Need Is Love”
    Magical Mystery Tour (1967)
    GUITARIST: George Harrison

    The shortest and most uptight solo of George’s Beatles career, with a jarringly abrupt ending. Maybe John Lennon realized it was only going to get worse and pulled the plug on him.

    6 BLACK FLAG
    “Thirsty and Miserable”
    Damaged (1981)
    GUITARIST: Greg Ginn

    Well, at least Black Flag got the last half of the song title right. Punk rockers should never attempt shredding, even if they’re trying to be ironic. Greg Ginn performs his solo like a sloppy drunk having sex, and, mercifully, he gets his act over quickly before his flaccid notes have the chance to penetrate deep enough to do damage. Even worse, Ginn tries to mimic Jimi Hendrix with his overextended bent-note screams but ends up sounding like someone trying to bend Jimmy Kimmel. The guitarist claims Black Flag practiced about six hours every night. Apparently, that didn’t involve playing any musical instruments (though it certainly involved a ton of wanking).

    7 TED NUGENT
    “Wango Tango”
    Scream Dream (1980)

    The Motor City Madman has never been known for subtlety or inventiveness, but the main riff of this song is so brain-dead, it cries out for euthanasia.

    8 ROLLING STONES
    “Ain’t Too Proud to Beg”
    It’s Only Rock ‘n Roll (1974)
    GUITARIST: Keith Richards

    Keith Richards says he never understood why Mick Taylor left the Rolling Stones, but this horrendous, lurching and sputtering solo might have had something to do with his exit. Was Taylor angry with Richards for ruining an otherwise decent cover of a Motown classic? Was he too proud to beg to play the solo himself? Or was he just plain tired of playing with a group he considered rank amateurs? “I couldn’t believe how bad they were,” Taylor has said of the group. “Their playing was out of tune, and they sounded like a garage band. I often wondered how the Stones could make hit records.” Maybe it was only rock and roll, but Taylor apparently didn’t like it, and he bailed from the Stones less than two months after this record came out.

    9 MANOWAR
    “Sting of the Bumblebee”
    Kings of Metal (
    1988) BASSIST: Joey DeMaio

    This manic, mindless masturbatory wankfest (played on bass, which technically is a guitar) becomes more unbearable when you consider that DeMaio most likely performed it clad only in a loincloth, his hairy chest abundantly oiled and puffed out with pride. Sometimes it sounds like his woolly mammoth popped out to help him slap the strings. This metal is as heavy as the foil used to wrap a stick of Wrigley’s gum.

    10 LENNY KRAVITZ
    “American Woman”
    5 (1998)
    GUITARIST: Lenny Kravitz

    In this plodding, lethargic remake of the Guess Who hit, Lenny Kravitz sucks all the bounce and air out of Randy Bachman’s classic riff like a vampire performing cunnilingus on a blow-up doll. If songs could give out restraining orders, Kravitz would be forced to stay away from everything recorded between 1960 and 1979.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    In the late seventies, CREEM magazine devoted an entire special issue to guitarists. It consisted of a handful of critical "think pieces" devoted to a few guitarists, yet was fleshed out with a load of photographs and a "list" of roughly every rock guitarist to touch the instrument up until that time.

    The list was sarcastic as hell, and at times laugh out loud funny with the various descriptions of the artists mentioned. Guitar World's list seems to be cut from pretty much the same cloth. At times insightful and only occasionally funny, it isn't something to be taken seriously. Yet for a so-called guitar magazine, there sure are a shitload of factual inaccuracies.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    In the late seventies, CREEM magazine devoted an entire special issue to guitarists. It consisted of a handful of critical "think pieces" devoted to a few guitarists, yet was fleshed out with a load of photographs and a "list" of roughly every rock guitarist to touch the instrument up until that time.

    The list was sarcastic as hell, and at times laugh out loud funny with the various descriptions of the artists mentioned. Guitar World's list seems to be cut from pretty much the same cloth. At times insightful and only occasionally funny, it isn't something to be taken seriously. Yet for a so-called guitar magazine, there sure are a shitload of factual inaccuracies.
    We are both admitting our age by recollecting that particular CREEM issue but I recall that as well. You do make a good point in that at least CREEM was sarcastic as an editorial policy. Guitar World for years has been getting by with publishing stories and features that have less to do with the technical and artistic aspects of guitar playing and more to do with fluff territory previously the domain of Hit Parader or Circus. However, that being said, I thought the list humorous at spots, not surprising at others. I mean, c'mon. CC Deville as the worst? That is too easy a target. I did find it hilarious that they included Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music". I actually have that on CD. I guess I'm one of those dumb-asses that Lou Reed was talking about. I could have just turned my amp up and sat my guitar in front of it and had the same affect as the CD without spending the $13.

  4. #4
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    (8:31) stay for the credits

    Sorry Ed... but going through the motions wasted should be in the top 10.

    It's only rock and roll.



  5. #5
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 47 View Post
    Sorry Ed... but going through the motions wasted should be in the top 10.

    It's only rock and roll.


    Fuckin' hell!!!! Lest we forget!!!
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

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    About two hours ago I watched one of the worst spotlight solos ever. Angus Young playing somewhere in Spain. Wow. It sounded like me playing for about 10 minutes. I understand there were theatrics involved but it sounded like Jack White with a busted hand.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 47 View Post
    Sorry Ed... but going through the motions wasted should be in the top 10.

    It's only rock and roll.


    That was pretty sad.

  8. #8
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    I usually don't even bother with these "Top 100...anything" lists because I always find myself somewhere around #50 when I start to get really pissed. Then I remember, "...oh yeah, I almost forgot, not even the people who made this list believe some of this crap, it's only been written to spark discussion & make Rolling Stone relevant again for a few days."

    But since it was done by Guitar World I thought I would give this one more of a try. And I have to admit that this entry make me chuckle:

    38 JACKYL
    “She Loves My Cock”
    Jackyl (1992)
    GUITARISTS: Jeff Worley, Jimmy Stiff

    Quite possibly the dumbest AC/DC ripoff ever, this single-entendre hillbilly sploogefest makes Brian Johnson sound like Bon Scott, and Bon Scott sound like Oscar Wilde. The rhythm guitarist riffs like he’s lost at least one hand in a hunting accident—perhaps he ran afoul of singer Jesse James Dupree’s chainsaw— and Angus Young could play a better lead with his ass after a night of boozing. In fact, he probably has.

  9. #9
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    edit
    Last edited by mistere; 12.13.08 at 08:53 AM.

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    14 PETER FRAMPTON
    “Do You Feel Like We Do”
    Frampton Comes Alive (1976)

    Come on—if you’re gonna address the audience through a Talk Box during your extended guitar solo, wouldn’t you at least have some fun with it and say “I need a blowjob,” or something?
    I guess they're being facetious, cause he does say "I wanna fuck you".

    The top ten were funny, but in trying to fill out space with 100, they just
    come off as bitchy and predictable. And what, no Europe? That dive bomb/
    explosion solo in Rock the Night has to be one pf the cheesiest gtr moments
    from the cheese era.

  11. #11
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    I got a little laugh out of this one:

    100 MICHAEL JACKSON
    “Black or White”
    Dangerous (1991)
    GUITARIST: Slash

    Shooting for another rock-crossover coup along the lines of Eddie Van Halen’s “Beat It” solo, Wacko Jacko placed a call to Slash, the hottest guitarist of the moment. Lightning failed to strike twice, however, and Eddie no doubt lost little sleep over Slash’s plodding contributions.

    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
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    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 47 View Post
    Sorry Ed... but going through the motions wasted should be in the top 10.

    It's only rock and roll.



    What's more embarassing? The "playing" or the people applauding...
    Can't stop...addicted to the shindig...

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    63 LOVERBOY
    “Working for the Weekend”
    Get Lucky (1981)
    GUITARIST: Paul Dean

    Paul Dean’s licks gallop and whine like characters in a My Little Pony cartoon, only Dean sounds twice as prissy and fey. And only a West Hollywood hairdresser would think skin-tight red leather jeans and a rolled-up bandanna were cool attire for a man.


    haha
    Can't stop...addicted to the shindig...

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    Top Of The World Eddie's Cup's Avatar
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    Hmm, interesting. I guess you learn something new every day, especially since Jimmy Page plays the solo in the video.



    77 THE FIRM
    “Radioactive”
    The Firm (1985)
    GUITARIST: Paul Rodgers

    In a move perverse enough to horrify even Aleister Crowley, Jimmy Page decided to let Paul Rodgers play the guitar solo on their new band’s debut single. If you listen closely, you can almost hear Page laughing hysterically in the background as Rodgers clams up a storm.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie's Cup View Post
    Hmm, interesting. I guess you learn something new every day, especially since Jimmy Page plays the solo in the video.
    That's one of the factual inaccuracies I was mentioning. Page came up with that weird dissonant cluster of notes, which serves as the solo. Rogers plays guitar about as well as he does piano, which is to say passably, yet not that great.

    And bare in mind that in the 23 years since this album was released, this "information" only recently appeared at (you guessed it) Wikipedia.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

 

 

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