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  1. #1
    Hang 'Em High
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    Default If Wanting To See Vaginas Is A Crime, Then I, Your Honor, Am Guilty

    If Wanting To See Vaginas Is A Crime, Then I, Your Honor, Am Guilty

    By Alan Tripp
    May 23, 2007





    I stand before you today accused of wrongdoing, with my reputation called into question before the entire community. But in truth, I am no more guilty of a crime than any other man in this courtroom.

    Your honor, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I say today on behalf of all mankind: If wanting to see vaginas is a crime, then I am guilty of that crime. And if going to great lengths to find unblinded windows or drill peepholes through which vaginas may be plainly observed elevates that crime from a misdemeanor to a multi-count felony, then I plead no contest.

    But before you pass judgment on me, look into your own hearts. Is there a man among us, here in this hall of so-called "justice," that does not also desire to see vaginas? Does any one of you not admire their natural, flowerlike perfection, or not enjoy the sexual urges they conjure deep within your being?

    Then why drag me into this august chamber and put my future in jeopardy for wanting nothing but the same? The only difference between us is that I acted upon the conviction of my beliefs, whereas you stood by and did nothing. And, in doing nothing, missed out on seeing a lot of amazing vaginas.

    Is not the pursuit of happiness a fundamental right promised by our nation's own Declaration of Independence? Well, what could make any man happier than to see a myriad of young vaginas, in a group shower, lovingly hand-lathered to a state of moist, soapy perfection? Is that not what our founding fathers themselves envisioned so many years ago?

    Yet here in this courtroom, we act as if the glory of the vagina is something to be hidden from public view. And in so doing, we veil the most rapturous wonder of creation under ignorance, repression, hosiery, and outerwear. Not unlike the conservative poly-knit skirt worn by the prosecuting attorney, who, I might add, is a very attractive woman.

    Have we as a society really come to the point where it is a crime for a man in a ski mask and black coveralls to place a simple ladder against the side of a building and climb his way to a vantage point from which the glorious beauty of the nude vagina can be gazed upon with the rapt wonderment it deserves? Where the mere act of placing hidden cameras in a dorm lavatory is to be looked down upon in hypocritical shame? Where even something so innocent as the posting of live streaming feeds on the Internet—so that all men, regardless of race, creed, or color, may share in the beauty of these vaginas—is somehow considered "wrong"?

    As long as we're at it, why don't we put every man who desires to see the vaginas of unknown women on some kind of national database and make him go door to door telling all of his neighbors, "I like vaginas! I like vaginas!"

    As far as I am concerned, a world that denies a man's God-given right to stare directly at the genitalia of any woman he so desires is not a world worth living in. If you are going to sit there and tell me it is illegal in America to look at women in various states of undress, without their knowledge or consent, even when one is perfectly willing to expose his own genitals to the women in return, then go ahead and lock me up. I would rather spend my life in a holding cell for Stanton County's sexual offenders than go free in a world that would punish a man for the very act of being a man.

    http://www.theonion.com/content/opin...e_vaginas_is_a

  2. #2
    Hang 'Em High Hurricane Halen's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 11:01 PM
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    Default

    alright then............................


    HH<----Not the first thing I wanted to read this morning, but oh well----------
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
    VH LINKS Resident Paramedic/Firefighter
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  3. #3
    Future's in the past....
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    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Hurricane Halen View Post
    alright then............................


    HH<----Not the first thing I wanted to read this morning, but oh well----------
    Well, to be honest, it does sound more like something SNIC would be interested reading.
    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
    12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  4. #4
    Banned!
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    Default

    GOD! What a freakin perv!!

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    LOL, guys, it's from The Onion. It reminds me of the speech that Otter gave in the courtroom in Animal House.
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

    Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

  6. #6
    Future's in the past....
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    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
    12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  7. #7
    Unchained Ellen83's Avatar
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    10.06.13 @ 04:30 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalenRules View Post

    Was waiting for that clip to be posted.......


    "All right, Wolf, which one do you want?"
    -DLR, 05/15/08, BALTIMORE, to me and my best friend


    But one night's all we're given,
    So, baby, leave me alone, or, baby, stay the night



    The Van Halen I grew up on showed up at the party, drank all your alcohol and fucked your girlfriend. The Sammy era seemed more like spending a Saturday night alone with your girlfriend telling her how much you love her. - Sickman, summing it all up for me!

  8. #8
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    "Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman, damn glad to meet you"!
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

    Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

  9. #9
    Eruption
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    He looks like David Arquette but way creepier.

  10. #10
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
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    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
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    Premium Member

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by The Rover View Post

    As far as I am concerned, a world that denies a man's God-given right to stare directly at the genitalia of any woman he so desires is not a world worth living in.
    Any.....ANY WOMAN????


    So to this point only Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have agreed with this?


    What's taking everyone so long to get on board?
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
    Quint- Boat Captain
    --------------------------------------------------


    "As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly"
    Arthur Carlson- Radio Station GM
    --------------------------------------------------


    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
    Clark W. Griswold- Food Additive Designer
    ---------------------------------------------------


    VIVA TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND!
    Round I = Done!
    Round II = Done!
    Round III = Done!
    Round IV = Done!
    Round V = Done!
    Round VI = Done!
    Round VII = Done!
    Round VIII = Done!

  11. #11
    Eruption ChrisTheEdHead's Avatar
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    Default

    "That was Eric Stratton, rush chairman..he was damn glad to meet you"
    "Look, I'll pay you for it, what the f**k?!"

    "If I don't make her happy in the bedroom the wife gets bitchy for days at a time, but when I come to bed ready for action she laughs and laughs. She even laughs while I make my moves so I know I must be pleasing her as only I can do."
    The one, the only..Wengie

    "Denny Crane" - Denny Crane

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    As far as I am concerned, a world that denies a man's God-given right to stare directly at the genitalia of any woman he so desires is not a world worth living in.
    God given right? Then this chap wouldn't mind feeling the end result of my God given right to use my stilletto's to poke his sleazy, peeping tom eyes out and then in said stilletto heels, to bounce up and down on his gonads! I think that's pretty fair!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loveevhsince79 View Post
    "Eric Stratton, Rush Chairman, damn glad to meet you"!
    Hoover: Will you tell those assholes to shut up?
    Boon: Hey! Shut up you assholes!

    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make me a pot.

    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger.
    Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him]
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger.
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
    Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
    Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
    Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber?
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  14. #14
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    Hoover: Will you tell those assholes to shut up?
    Boon: Hey! Shut up you assholes!

    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Sophomore dies in kiln explosion? Oh My God! I just talked to her last week... She was going to make me a pot.

    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Mine's bigger.
    Marion Wormer: [looks questioningly at him]
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: My cucumber. It's bigger.
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: I think vegetables can be very sensuous, don't you?
    Marion Wormer: No, vegetables are sensual. People are sensuous.
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Right. Sensual. That's what I meant. My name's Eric Stratton. People call me Otter.
    Marion Wormer: My name's Marion. People call me Mrs. Wormer.
    Eric 'Otter' Stratton: Oh, we have a Dean Wormer at Faber.
    Marion Wormer: How interesting. I have a husband named Dean Wormer at Faber. Still want to show me your cucumber?
    I don't think there is a line in that movie that isn't quote worthy.
    Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

    Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loveevhsince79 View Post
    I don't think there is a line in that movie that isn't quote worthy.
    I couldnt decide who I wanted to be most, Otter or Bluto. It looked like both had a hell of a time. :heandbang:
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

 

 

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