09.24.08, 06:07 PM #1
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these are just some articles i came across when i logged on the computer:
Accused of passing gas, man charged with battery
2 minutes ago
SOUTH CHARLESTON, W.Va. - A West Virginia man who police said passed gas and fanned it toward a patrolman has been charged with battery on a police officer.
Jose A. Cruz, 34, of Clarksburg, was pulled over early Tuesday for driving without headlights, police said. According to the criminal complaint, Cruz smelled of alcohol, had slurred speech and failed three field sobriety tests before he was handcuffed and taken to a police station for a breathalyzer test.
As Patrolman T.E. Parsons prepared the machine, Cruz scooted his chair toward Parsons, lifted his leg and "passed gas loudly," the complaint said.
Cruz, according to complaint, then fanned the gas toward the officer.
"The gas was very odorous and created contact of an insulting or provoking nature with Patrolman Parsons," the complaint alleged.
He was also charged with driving under the influence, driving without headlights and two counts of obstruction.
Cruz acknowledged passing gas, but said he didn't move his chair toward the officer nor aim gas at the patrolman. He said he had an upset stomach at the time, but police denied his request to go to the bathroom when he first arrived at the station.
"I couldn't hold it no more," he said.
He also denied being drunk and uncooperative as the police complaint alleged. He added he was upset at being prepared for a breathalyzer test while having an asthma attack. The police statement said he later resisted being secured for a trip to a hospital that he requested for asthma treatment.
Cruz said the officers thought the gas incident was funny when it happened and laughed about it with him.
"This is ridiculous," he said. "I could be facing time."
"Can you reset the Internet for me?"
Wed Sep 24, 1:13 PM ET
WASHINGTON (AFP) - Computer help desks are used to fielding oddball requests but sometimes the questions leave even the best of them stumped.
Such as: "Why isn't my wireless mouse connected to the computer?"
Or: "Can you reset the Internet for me?"
Then there was the questioner who asked: "Where can I get software to track UFOs?"
He was presumably not the same person who called in to report that "a skunk ate my cable."
Robert Half Technology, a provider of information technology professionals based in Menlo Park, California, asked 1,400 chief information officers from companies across the United States to come up with the most baffling questions their help desks or technical support teams had ever received.Among the more unusual were:
-- "My computer is telling me to press any key to continue. Where is the 'any' key?"
-- "Can you rearrange the keyboard alphabetically?"
-- "My daughter is locked in the bathroom, can you pick the lock?"
-- "Can you tell me the weather forecast for next year?"
-- "Can you install cable TV on my PC?"
Then there was the computer user who confused the CD-ROM drive with a drink holder and asked: "How do I get my computer's coffee-cup holder to come out again?"
Katherine Spencer Lee, executive director of Robert Half Technology, said such queries were a test of the skills of the help and technical support desks.
"These unusual requests highlight the need for technical support personnel to also demonstrate patience, empathy and a sense of humor," she said.
Man cited for allegedly buying beer for young sons
1 hour, 14 minutes ago
FOND DU LAC, Wis. - A father who bought a beer for his 4-year-old son at the Fond du Lac County Fair and shared it with the boy's 2-year-old sibling was cited after becoming belligerent when he was approached by police.
A woman working at a beer tent last July told an officer she thought the man was joking when he asked for two beers ó one for him and another for his 4-year-old son.
When he was questioned by an officer, he told him it's legal for underage children to drink in Wisconsin, as long as they're with their parents. The officer countered that the boys weren't old enough to know what they were drinking.
A police report said the man began yelling and swearing and was kicked off the fairgrounds.
The Fond du Lac County district attorney recently requested that the man be cited for disorderly conduct.
Lamb-eating sea eagles upset Scottish farmers
Tue Sep 23, 11:30 AM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - Sheep farmers in remote northwest Scotland are furious about a sea eagle reintroduction programme, saying the huge birds of prey are damaging their livelihoods by killing 200 lambs in the past year.
The Scottish Crofting Foundation said some crofts, small farms producing mainly lamb or beef, had seen lamb numbers fall over the past five years because of the sea eagles' diet.
"It's come to the stage now that we have lost, in the whole peninsula, around 200 lambs and we believe this is solely due to the sea eagles," William Fraser, chairman of the Gairloch and Poolewe branch of the Crofting Foundation, told Reuters.
"In a few years time there'll be no sheep left on the hills," said Fraser, who owns a 4-acre croft with 150 sheep.
Conservation groups began gradually reintroducing sea eagles to parts of Scotland from 1975. Britain's largest bird of prey had become extinct there in the early 20th century.
The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSPB) says the programme is an outstanding conservation success story.
Three breeding pairs live in Gairloch, where Fraser has his farm.
Fraser said the sea eagles -- which have a wing span of eight feet and can weigh eight kgs (18 lbs) when fully grown -- will snatch even year-old sheep.
The crofters will meet next week to discuss the problem but Fraser suggested the young eagle chicks could be taken out of their nests and taken elsewhere. It was up to the conservation groups to solve the problem, he said.
Scottish Natural Heritage, the Forestry Commission of Scotland and the RSPB, which jointly run the sea eagle reintroduction programme, were unconvinced by Fraser's estimate.
"The number (of lambs) that they are suggesting is extremely surprising to us," said RSPB spokesman James Reynolds.
Reynolds said that last week an RSPB team in Scotland examined a sea eagle nest on Gairloch and found their diet consisted largely of Fulmars, a sea bird, and quite large lamb bones, suggesting they were scavenged.
"We're working with the Scottish Crofting Foundation very closely on this issue," Reynolds said, adding that sea eagles generated about 1.5 million pounds ($2.8 million) a year in wildlife tourism for the island of Mull, where eight pairs live.[On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
"I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
"I'm just trying to figure out why you donít have any clothes on," the deputy said.
"Me too," Krauss replied.
"Donít forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"
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