Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 29
  1. #1
    Hot For Teacher
    Join Date
    01.27.00
    Location
    Rochester, NY USA
    Posts
    225
    Last Online

    05.07.09 @ 07:48 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Any funny "Dog Stories"?

    I have a very funny (and completely TRUE one)

    A good friend of mine runs a very successful Dog Daycare Center here in Rochester NY (for the past 8 years now) and provided me with perhaps one of the funniest (true) stories I have EVER heard.



    From: Emily xxxxxx <Emily@xxxxxxxxxxx.com>
    Subject: Teaching your dog leave it
    Date: Tuesday, July 22, 2008, 12:07 PM


    Teaching your dog leave it, OR keeping an eagle eye on your lab can be useful, if you don’t want people to know about your freaky bedroom life.

    If you are not careful he might go to doggy daycare and throw up a condom, a rubber band, and what Heather and I can only discern are anal beads.

    True story!

    I hope I gave you all a laugh for the day…..
    Sm...

  2. #2
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,682
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 05:35 PM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,350 Times in 926 Posts

    Default

    Well, nothing like that, but when I was a kid, my mom had a boyfriend who had a camp on Lake Wentworth in New Hampshire (Man, would I kill to have access to that camp now!). Anyway, I liked to row the boat out in the lake and I used to take our Maltese with me. One day, I was getting the boat ready to go and put the dog in. For whatever reason, I was trying to pull the boat from one side of the dock to the other before getting in, and while doing so the rope slipped out of my hand. The boat started drifting away into the lake, with the poor pooch inside, could hear him crying as he drifted further out. And it seemed to be drifting out pretty fast. My sister and another person at the camp ended up breaking out the canoe and chasing the boat and the dog down.

    Another night we were sitting out by the back dock and he was just wandering around. All of a sudden we heard a splash - he'd walked straight off the end of the dock! (He wasn't one to go swimming intentionally, unlike my mother's boyfriend's dog who used to swim back and forth across the "river").

  3. #3
    Future's in the past....
    Join Date
    03.03.08
    Age
    51
    Location
    Somewhere between here and there
    Posts
    13,090
    Favorite VH Album

    WACF, FW, DD
    Favorite VH Song

    At the moment, Little Guitars
    Last Online

    11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 3 Times in 3 Posts

    Default

    Literally minutes before now, our Shepard mix was asleep on her back at the foot of the bed. Wanna guess what happened when she rolled over? Thud.

    Looked at me like I pushed her or something.
    11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
    12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
    02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.21.03
    Age
    52
    Location
    Mound Valley, Kansas
    Posts
    9,045
    Favorite VH Album

    5150, Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance The Night Away, Dreams
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 03:26 PM
    Likes
    39
    Liked 34 Times in 10 Posts

    Default

    Our dog took the biggest crap just outside the McDonald's in Dodge City, Kansas back in '85. We put a straw in it with a piece of paper attached to the straw with "Max was here!" written on it.

    This is kind of funny but not funny at the same time. I laugh and feel sorry for our old dog at the thought of this:

    Our friend had bought a snake. His Grandma wouldn't let him keep the snake in her house so he kept it at our house. We used to go to the pet store and buy baby mice to feed the snake. One day we come home with the mice in a paper bag, and proceed to feed them to the snake. Well, our poodle, picking up the scent of the mice in that paper bag stuck her head in it and started racing across the living room at full speed with the paper bag over the top of her head, apparently chasing the mice she could still smell. She couldn't see the support post that was in the living room and smacked into it at full speed! She sat back on her ass, and was woozy for a little bit, but was all right.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    09.11.06
    Age
    41
    Location
    Leicestershire, England
    Posts
    4,484
    Favorite VH Album

    VH1, VHII or Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    They're all great!
    Last Online

    04.02.15 @ 07:26 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 5 Times in 2 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Viking View Post
    ]
    Our friend had bought a snake. His Grandma wouldn't let him keep the snake in her house so he kept it at our house. We used to go to the pet store and buy baby mice to feed the snake. One day we come home with the mice in a paper bag, and proceed to feed them to the snake. Well, our poodle, picking up the scent of the mice in that paper bag stuck her head in it and started racing across the living room at full speed with the paper bag over the top of her head, apparently chasing the mice she could still smell. She couldn't see the support post that was in the living room and smacked into it at full speed! She sat back on her ass, and was woozy for a little bit, but was all right.
    dude, do you want some more baby mice??
    yup you guessed it mine have had MORE babies (yesterday) the new total is now 79!...not bad considering they're all supposed to be female.
    we had taken 1 male out and even visited the vet who said there's no more males in there, but fuck me if they aren't still having them.
    my friends snake is about the best fed snake of all time!


    i can always u.p.s. them over i'm sure they'll still be fresh after an atlantic flight!
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

    And with that I'm off to the kitchen to make myself a lesbian omelette...LLFHS in response to one of Graeme's post's


    "The anal beads may have scarred SNIC for life. That guy is tough as fucking nails!! No normal guy could take anal beads to the head and survive! "...OLO on SNIC's near death experience at TLW

    "I'm a 45-year-old man, and I still like to wear a thong or a speedo when I go swimming.
    Not because I have a great body, it's just an easy way to make sure I have the hotel swimming pool all to myself."...Bullwinkle for quite obvious reasons!

    "Dude, the cashier gave me the creepiest sneer when he rang up my unmentionables!"...Sassy Lassy during a Facebook conversation!

  6. #6
    Romeo Delight fletch5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    11.30.07
    Location
    Cleveland
    Posts
    101
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me A Doctor
    Last Online

    11.25.17 @ 05:23 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 7 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    I have a three year old shar-pei. We got her from the pound and tried to keep her in the basement when were gone. We let her have the whole place. One night I came home from work after she had been alone for 2 hours she met me at the door. When I went to the basement to see how she got out I found the door knob on the floor along with chunks of the door. All 35 pounds of her broke the door!!! After I took it all in we made eye contact and I know she was thinking "Haha. Try again"! I wanted to change her name to Hooch.
    Van Halen shows attended:
    08/21/91, 06/29/93
    08/02/93, 04/22/95
    07/18/95, 05/17/98
    07/25/98, 07/02/04
    11/11/04, 10/10/07
    03/09/12, 03/30/12

    David Lee Roth shows attended:
    07/24/91, 05/29/02 - opening night
    09/06/03

    Sammy Hagar shows:
    07/19/97, 06/04/99
    01/05/01, 09/09/01
    05/29/02 - opening night
    07/23/03, 07/04/06

  7. #7
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    02.15.08
    Age
    49
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,943
    Favorite VH Song

    Drop Dead Legs
    Last Online

    01.06.12 @ 02:10 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    2 stories:

    we left our chocolate lab, Tori, home one day, uncrated. we had a thunderstorm, she freaked out and decided that the down comforter would distract her and save her from the scary thunder & lightning. We came home to a ba-zillion feathers everywhere in every room. It looked like a snow globe or massive pillow fight gone awry. I was so mad at her but felt so bad that she got scared.
    She made up for it by giving us that "I'm such a naughty doggy" smile - you know the one where they bare their teeth but aren't being aggresive.

    Next - my uncle is a veterinarian - he had a client that brought his 2 chesapeake bay retrievers in. I checked him in and saw he had a black eye, swollen nose and 3 stitches above his eyebrow. I thought he'd been in a car accident or got his ass beat.

    I heard him telling my uncle that he was getting into the shower a few days earlier and he leaned over to unstop the drain, both dogs bolted in to the bathroom and one "nosed" him in the heiny, the other ran into the first dog full speed.... he went face first into the built in soap holder and then landed on the floor of the tub. It was apparently an old tub - you know the porcelien ones- Lots of blood was spilled

    He was not too keen on sharing his story at the ER that day but his wife made him go
    Model Citizen, Zero Discipline


    "***"...now please take off my VanHalen t-shirt, before you jinx the band and they break up..." (The wedding singer)"

    *Thanks SNIC for my AWESOME new avatar!*

  8. #8
    Eruption EVHWolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.13.01
    Location
    Philadelphia (now in Portland, ME)
    Posts
    1,204
    Favorite VH Album

    VH 1
    Favorite VH Song

    ATBL
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 06:23 PM
    Likes
    40
    Liked 278 Times in 100 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    My wife and I got a 1 year old husky (we were told she was 3) last summer for a buddy for our 8 year old husky mix. Well, after a few months of crate training (I don't like using a crate and she was only in it while we were gone) she was well enough behaved outside to be outside the crate all day, but confined to two rooms-our living room and dining room. We had no problems for 3 or 4 months...so I finally packed the crate up and got it out of the house. Well the next day, I get home from work and she had dragged out sofa away from the wall and into the middle of the room (about 4 or so feet) and our overstuffed chair from the other wall to the middle of the room. All that remained were frames and a tremendous pile of stuffing and fabric inbetween the pieces of furniture. With Sami (she came with the name) on her back with a crazed look in her blue eyes.
    I put the crate back in the house.
    Last edited by EVHWolf; 07.22.08 at 11:23 AM.
    For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge the New England Fucking Patriots, Dallas Fucking Cowboys, New York Fucking Giants, Washington Fucking Redskins, Carolina Fucking Panthers, Tampa Bay Fucking Bucs, Florida Fucking Marlins, Atlanta Fucking Braves, New York Fucking Mets, Boston Fucking Red Sox, Boston Fucking Bruins, and New Jersey Fucking Devils.

    ( . Y . ) Boobs!

    \m/ \m/
    / / v \ \

  9. #9
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,682
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 05:35 PM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,350 Times in 926 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch5150 View Post
    I have a three year old shar-pei. We got her from the pound and tried to keep her in the basement when were gone. We let her have the whole place. One night I came home from work after she had been alone for 2 hours she met me at the door. When I went to the basement to see how she got out I found the door knob on the floor along with chunks of the door. All 35 pounds of her broke the door!!! After I took it all in we made eye contact and I know she was thinking "Haha. Try again"! I wanted to change her name to Hooch.
    When we got the maltese, we lived in an apartment. So my mom put a very large suitcase in the doorway between the carpeted living room and the linoleumed kitchen, where he was given free reign while we were gone during the day. So we come home at night, and the pup's still in the kitchen, but there's a mess in the living room! So I leave the suitcase in place and go sit in the living room. I'll be damned if that little dog (he weighed around 10 pounds when he was full grown!) didn't jump up on top of that suitcase, and then jump down onto the other side. Just can't shortchange "dog smarts".

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    09.11.06
    Age
    41
    Location
    Leicestershire, England
    Posts
    4,484
    Favorite VH Album

    VH1, VHII or Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    They're all great!
    Last Online

    04.02.15 @ 07:26 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 5 Times in 2 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    a friend of mine bought a (scuse the spelling) piranean mountain dog for his son, the damn thing was the size of a horse and when it stood on its hind legs it was taller than me and i'm 6'2", anyway my friend went out one day leaving the dog with the house to itself, which he did regularly, and on his return he discovered the dog had eaten his new leather couch, all that remained was the wooden frame, which had been well chewed, and some of the stuffing!
    needless to say the dog was re-homed quite soon afterwards, with his ex-wife!
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

    And with that I'm off to the kitchen to make myself a lesbian omelette...LLFHS in response to one of Graeme's post's


    "The anal beads may have scarred SNIC for life. That guy is tough as fucking nails!! No normal guy could take anal beads to the head and survive! "...OLO on SNIC's near death experience at TLW

    "I'm a 45-year-old man, and I still like to wear a thong or a speedo when I go swimming.
    Not because I have a great body, it's just an easy way to make sure I have the hotel swimming pool all to myself."...Bullwinkle for quite obvious reasons!

    "Dude, the cashier gave me the creepiest sneer when he rang up my unmentionables!"...Sassy Lassy during a Facebook conversation!

  11. #11
    Romeo Delight fletch5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    11.30.07
    Location
    Cleveland
    Posts
    101
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me A Doctor
    Last Online

    11.25.17 @ 05:23 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 7 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by billy007 View Post
    Just can't shortchange "dog smarts".
    My wife and I took guessed that was her way of telling us that she didn't want to be locked in a room when we weren't home. We gave her the whole house the next day and she has not done anything like this.
    Van Halen shows attended:
    08/21/91, 06/29/93
    08/02/93, 04/22/95
    07/18/95, 05/17/98
    07/25/98, 07/02/04
    11/11/04, 10/10/07
    03/09/12, 03/30/12

    David Lee Roth shows attended:
    07/24/91, 05/29/02 - opening night
    09/06/03

    Sammy Hagar shows:
    07/19/97, 06/04/99
    01/05/01, 09/09/01
    05/29/02 - opening night
    07/23/03, 07/04/06

  12. #12
    Baluchitherium
    Join Date
    09.11.06
    Age
    41
    Location
    Leicestershire, England
    Posts
    4,484
    Favorite VH Album

    VH1, VHII or Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    They're all great!
    Last Online

    04.02.15 @ 07:26 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 5 Times in 2 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    my wife just walked in and reminded me of one very funny thing my dog did a while ago....
    my dog is an english springer spaniel and ever since she was a pup i've worked her and trained her as a gun dog...and a damn fine one she is too, never once has she damaged a bird or rabbit etc while we were out "working". but one of the drawbacks of living in the english countryside is the constant "visits" we get from various forms of wildlife...anything from field mice to fox's..one day while i was at work, the rain was pouring down, so my wife in her most energetic decided just to let the dog out in the garden to take a poop.....5 miutes later, my dog returned with a very live and very upset pheasant in her mouth (the dog just walked into the house as the wife had left the door open) which she decided to present to my wife as a gift, in the lounge!!!!...needless to say there was much screaming, feathers were flying and there was poop from the bird(and quite possibly the wife) all over the house, and my wife being the brave soul that she is got my then 7 year old daughter to hit it over the head and remove it from the house. it did make a wonderful sunday dinner though, and yes the dog did have some.
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

    And with that I'm off to the kitchen to make myself a lesbian omelette...LLFHS in response to one of Graeme's post's


    "The anal beads may have scarred SNIC for life. That guy is tough as fucking nails!! No normal guy could take anal beads to the head and survive! "...OLO on SNIC's near death experience at TLW

    "I'm a 45-year-old man, and I still like to wear a thong or a speedo when I go swimming.
    Not because I have a great body, it's just an easy way to make sure I have the hotel swimming pool all to myself."...Bullwinkle for quite obvious reasons!

    "Dude, the cashier gave me the creepiest sneer when he rang up my unmentionables!"...Sassy Lassy during a Facebook conversation!

  13. #13
    Eruption Yerfdog's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.17.01
    Age
    49
    Location
    Grain Valley, Missouri
    Posts
    1,318
    Last Online

    11.06.14 @ 05:13 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tommywho5150 View Post
    needless to say there was much screaming, feathers were flying and there was poop from the bird(and quite possibly the wife) all over the house
    I swear, it's like I'm playin' cards with my brother's kids or somethin'. You nerve-wrackin' sons-a-bitches.

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing! csm5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.04.04
    Age
    46
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    3,094
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
    Last Online

    11.25.14 @ 09:53 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    We had a dog named Whipper was I was in college/h.s. She was the best dog we ever had. She loved to ride in a vehicle and was allways eager to get out and explore-except when we went to the vet. For obvious dog reasons she locked up and didn't want to go in. So one day we are in there and she's sitting in front of me all nervous. I smell gas (i.e. a fart) and it was strong. I blew it off-literally and figuratively-when I smelt it again. Then I heard a low squeak come from Whipper, then the stank. Obviously, my dog was nervous and farting b/c of the vet. The only problem was her farts kept getting louder and louder. Finally, the old man across from me asks, "Bringing your dog in for a gas problem are you?"
    LSU Tigers 2003 & 2007 National Champs
    Detroit Pistons 2004 NBA Champs

    If looks could kill, I'd stare at everybody!

  15. #15
    Baluchitherium Texas Poundcake's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.16.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    Middle of Tornado/earthquake alley.... so confused!!!
    Posts
    4,141
    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K
    Favorite VH Song

    Poundcake
    Last Online

    07.22.17 @ 01:18 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 2 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tommywho5150 View Post
    a friend of mine bought a (scuse the spelling) piranean mountain dog for his son, the damn thing was the size of a horse and when it stood on its hind legs it was taller than me and i'm 6'2", anyway my friend went out one day leaving the dog with the house to itself, which he did regularly, and on his return he discovered the dog had eaten his new leather couch, all that remained was the wooden frame, which had been well chewed, and some of the stuffing!
    needless to say the dog was re-homed quite soon afterwards, with his ex-wife!
    Well this was taken right after we got our 2 very sweet baby beagles.. Sadie and Scooter. We had to make an Alcatraz like room for them to stay in during the day.. but they figured out how to get into the room with the sofa... and yes there are puddles of pee and poop in the pics you see..





    I can think of this as funny because that sofa was going in the garbage anyway because this was right before we were going to be moving. The pups are almost 8 months old now and doing much better in the new house! No more chewing! They have turned out to be some of the best dogs we have had!

    Scooter

    Sadie...
    http://www.myspace.com/texaschic22
    It's private.. but if you at least say who you are from VH links I will add ya!

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. "Say Uncle," "You Wear It Well," "River Wide" and "Left for Dead."
    By extreme red roth in forum VH Songs/Albums/Videos
    Replies: 48
    Last Post: 12.28.16, 06:31 PM
  2. Replies: 9
    Last Post: 10.31.06, 06:53 AM
  3. Funny "Blonde-Star" Video...
    By dirtymovies in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 07.03.06, 12:09 PM
  4. Funny VH radio "drop" the other night...
    By Boilin' Strings in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 09.29.05, 10:22 AM
  5. Since "The Osbournes"is so damn funny, why not "The Van Halen Family"?
    By atomicpunk5150 in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03.23.02, 04:26 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •