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  1. #1
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    Default Gigs From Hell - Horror Stories

    OK, so mine is actually pretty tame - I'm sure others have had worse
    and I wanna hear it. But last night, this drunk girl kept getting in my
    face and begging me to let her play one of the guitars behind me(!).
    I politely said no, so she proceeded to jump onstage anyway to
    dance between me and my pedal board before moving on to the
    singer to give her hell. Meanwhile, security nowhere to be found.
    Her more sober friends finally pull her off where she returns
    to begging me to let her play, saying she even brought her own pick(!).
    Finally I said: "Look babe, I know you're here to have a good time
    and I'm here to entertain you, but this is my job and not Holiday Inn
    Karaoke. Besides, those aren't even my guitars. Just sit down and
    play more bad air guitar."

  2. #2
    Emperor of VHLinks.com Brett's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 04:58 AM
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    HAHA I would have drop-kicked her if she came anywhere near my stuff.

    One that comes to mind was a fairly large show where I had three guitars and I broke a string on all of them. Luckily my Floyds are all blocked so they don't go out when I break a string, so I had to do an entire song without a G string while one my friends quickly replaced the strings on one of my other guitars. I can't imagine how bad that sounded.

    What's really dumb about it is our singer plays guitar too so I could have just borrowed his, but it didn't even occur to either of us at the time. When you're on stage, sometimes your mind just goes blank.
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  3. #3
    On Fire Genghis_John's Avatar
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    08.22.16 @ 01:22 PM
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    Ha. Our little band had always played on stages that were very small. Everyone was so close together. However, it was cool and everything felt nice and tight. We traveled to a gig south of Chicago and ended up playing on this huge stage. We had our stuff all spread out and started to jam. Everything felt so empty and alone. The sound was way different and it was if all chemistry between us had gone. It was the weirdest thing. We quickly pulled the amps in towards the drums and set it all up again so we were close together.

    We had to look funny all scrunched up together, but it worked.
    "Everything comes to me while I'm sitting on the pot." - EVH

  4. #4
    Romeo Delight lightemup55's Avatar
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    04.28.17 @ 05:51 AM
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    We had a CD release party a few years back and hired an opening act that we had seen on the local scene. The openers did one set and we did two,the first was all originals and the second was all covers. As we went into EVERLONG, the bass player from the oening act decided to jump up on stage and sing harmonies, the thing is, he was pretty high and/or drunk by then and as he jumped on stage he knocked our lead guitarists glass of water all over his pedal board. Luckely, the pedal board still worked, but our friend wasn't done just yet, he then proceeded to jump around on stage and steped on the guitarists clean sound during a part where it should have been distorted.

    But that's not the end of it, later in the set he decided to jump back up during our rendition of TRIBUTE by Tenacious D and he highjacked the mic that our guitarist was supossed to use during the song for back vocals. Our friend then started yelling into the mic and buggered up all the lyrics just before he was escorted off stage by another one of his bandmates. neeedless to say that we never played with that band again and our lead singer was so disgusted that she demanded an appology before they got paid.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    I was going to mention the fixed "Battle of the Bands" we played in a bowling alley, yet I'll save that particular episode of my own personal hell on Earth for another time. This is a story involving some self realization, and pretty much sums up why I quit the business for the 25th time.

    Somewhere in the uneasy climate of early 2002, our band had managed to get a booking for a today well-known (yet at the time anonymous) Led Zeppelin cover band. Opening for us were to be two punk bands. OK, I'd better explain the situation. The evening was broken into two segments: First an all-ages show featuring the two punk groups, and intermission and then an "adults-only" offering featuring us and the already mentioned "zeppelinists". It was assumed that this would be a good career move for us. It certainly was...something.

    The way the club was set up, there was no rear load in, you literally carried your gear in/out through the front door. The parking lot was a narrow strip running the length of the block. So the drummer and I arrived with the band's gear in our pick up trucks and parked out front. Just as we arrived in tandem, from inside the club came the somewhat unsettling sound of teenagers screaming and the ever-comforting noise of furniture breaking. Moments later the front doors swung open and out into the parking lot poured a melee, in full force. (Who in the hell knows how these things start with kids, yet later it was explained that apparently it began with one group of fans debating the qualities and merits of the other's band.)

    As this sea of battling humanity crashed in apparently unending waves of profanity and teenaged spirit across the lot, the drummer and I resorted to standing on our respective tailgates armed with only a baseball bat and (yup, you guessed it) a three wood golf club. Fortunately we had back-up, as the local police found it prudent to dispatch one officer to deal with things. Fortunately one of the combatants flashed a knife and was then eagerly chased down by the entire mob and presumably beaten within an inch of his life.

    Order was restored, the under aged crowd sent on their way and a clean up operation that would last nearly three hours began. During this time the carpet was shampooed and vacuumed to remove any evidence of blood, furniture was righted and repaired as well as several teeth were collected.

    I spent much of this time speaking with the quite charming members of the Zep cover band, who informed me that until recently, they too had been performing originals for people that did not wish to hear them and going broke in the process, just like us. Upon switching to covers, they'd not stopped playing and being well paid for their efforts. Having (at the time) recently reached my forties, this had quite a profound effect on me, along with the somewhat disturbing tendency of the lead singer to remain in the character of Robert Plant as he explained it all to me.

    In any event, we played the gig, albeit with no sound-check and a curtailed performance of roughly 30 minutes (or less). For our efforts, we were paid the somewhat questionable amount of forty-five dollars, split between five band members.

    Taking in the evening's events as I drove home to get about two and a half hours sleep before reporting for work the next morning, I came to a decision. After reading this far, I'm fairly confident that you'll be able to draw fairly close as to what it eventually entailed.

    craig
    Last edited by chefcraig; 07.04.08 at 05:34 PM.

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    Priceless. And I think we're in the space philosophically, Craig. I'd
    done almost nothing but my own music for the better part of 30 years,
    but when people ask me what I'm doing in any of the four cover bands
    I'm in now, I tell them there's no way I could play venues this cool for this
    many people for this much money doing my own weird shit. Pretty sweet
    gig actually, as there are no load-ins and the two clubs are set up and
    constantly* at the ready. The tourism means the tour comes to us instead of
    vice-versa and we get treated pretty well. But that doesn't mean that we don't
    get drunk idiots requesting their favorite drunken jukebox hits in the
    middle of a tribute set or that people think they can get your life story
    while you're trying to tune up and get ready to go on. And they are great
    about buying you drinks, but why they always buy the worst beer or cocktail
    you can think of, I just don't know. Minor quibbles and god bless 'em, but
    remind me to tell you how everyone in the band has busted their ass in their
    Kiss boots as least once in front of everybody. Oh, and do tell about the fixed
    bowling alley thing, please. Lol.
    Last edited by mistere; 07.04.08 at 11:48 PM.

  7. #7
    Emperor of VHLinks.com Brett's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 04:58 AM
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    I hear you guys, but I'm still being an idiot playing in a band of all originals at age 37. I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually, but I still love playing my own stuff.
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  8. #8
    Good Enough SLEEPER5150's Avatar
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    12.03.10 @ 03:16 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Brett View Post
    I hear you guys, but I'm still being an idiot playing in a band of all originals at age 37. I'm sure I'll figure it out eventually, but I still love playing my own stuff.
    Hey Brett. Don't ya just love it when you get in arguments with people that insist that you "played the song wrong" ? Iv'e had this happen during a couple song releases where people insist that they've heard that song before and that I was close but "I should go back and listen to the original" WTF? We had one original tune a while back called Pound the Pavement that admitedly had a very seventies Nugent feel kinda Strangle Hold jam inspired. Anyway that's what we were goin' for but some clown came up after our set and started saying we were hacks and that get this "If Iommi heard this shit he'd take me to school" I'm goin "Iommi?" He goes "if you guys are going to play Sabbath then we should listen to the records before making fools of ourselves!" Were looking at each other like what is this guy talking about?
    He just looks crazed, obviously drunk, and quite pissed off at us. I say to him Sorry man, We wern't playing anything by Sabbath. He's going "ya ya...... you could'nt play it if you tried, and that he would tell the manager that we were the worst band in here and he'd tell him that we were giving him attitude". and such. By this point were really confused and quite pissed ourselves. We said to him "look man we don't know what your'e talking about but were not a cover band and aside from playing Young Blood, Heavy Metal, and Ain't talkin' Bout Love, everything else was original, and we understand if we could not please everyone, but the majority of people were having a good time and were giving us good feedback." He goes "You guys were'nt trying to play Sabbath?" Were like "Sorry, no." He goes "You got something against them?" I say fuck no, there a great band, just not into playing their stuff at the moment. It goes from being real heated to "Well.... I guess you guys are allright then!.....So who are you trying to be?" Frustrated, My drummer Brian goes AC/DC!" At that point this huge drunken smile swallows his face, as he staggers back a step with a double thumbs up and Yells "RIGHT ON!!!!" Possibly the single handed most strange 5 minutes of gigging Ive ever experienced!
    She looks so $#@!'n good ,so sexy and so frail....Somethin's got the bite on me, I'm goin' straight to Hell.

  9. #9
    Baluchitherium
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    11.25.17 @ 04:30 AM
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    June or July 1989. Our band (comprised of two 16-year-olds and two 17-year-olds) played this one gig at a bar/club in either Alhambra or Pasadena. After our set, some guy came up to us and said that he had to have us play at his bar. We came to an agreement and got us another gig: $200 flat and all the booze we could drink.

    We agreed to be the only band which means four 45-to-50-minute sets from 9-1. We decided to lay back on the originals and do about 90% covers. No problem.

    Our home base was in the High Desert and this bar was out in the desert between Barstow and Victorville. It was called the Gaslight. It was a dump. The stage had chicken wire in front of it. Remember the stage from Bob's Country Bunker in "The Blues Brothers"? This was that stage to a T. Also, the only vehicles parked out front were Harleys. Scary!

    The gig gets started. It's ALL BIKERS! We were pretty spooked, but we didn't let it show. We rocked a great show that was heavy on the Van Halen, Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Motörhead, Deep Purple (completely faked our way through that), Guns 'N' Roses, ZZ Top, and Bad Co. We also busted out that old biker classic "Born To Be Wild". That was the biggest song of the night and was played twice. There were probably only ten fights that night. I remember several times thinking I was gonna get hit with a pipe, whacked with a chain, or stabbed.

    At the end of the night, we'd played our asses off and were covered in beer and sweat with pieces of glass in our hair. It turned out to be a great stab-free gig. Bikers know how to party, but it's scarier than shit to entertain them.

    3 AM. There's still about 30 people there. We're all packed up. The owner comes over to us and hands us an envelope and a brown paper bag..."A little somethin' extra for you guys." We had a good idea of what was in the bag. We took it and left quickly.

    About 100 yards down the road I open the bag. 'Shrooms. It's filled with 'shrooms. We all freaked out and tossed them out the window about a mile down the road.

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  10. #10
    Eruption Brand X's Avatar
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    I play in a three bands.....one thats just covers played with a rock edge, a Bon Jovi tribute (as there's no call for a Dream Theater tribute1 ;o) ), and an 80's tribute which is where I get away with playing Van Halen, etc....

    Anyway we work every weekend, with two or three bookings.......a couple of yeasrs back we had a Saturday night off so I'm actually able to spend a night with my wife and kids...until I get a call from the singer saying that our manager has called and we've a 40th birthday party to play as they've been let down by the band they originally booked. So reluctantly we take the gig.......

    I wish we didnt.....

    ......we turned up at the venue which was at a club in a rough area of a rough area. We reversed the van to to load-in doors and waiting for us was the most miserable looking old geezer we've ever seen. He proceeded to tell us that as it's a 60TH BIRTHDAY PARTY, we'd like some waltzes, some foxtrots and maybe some line-dancing...........

    At this point, I stopped him and tried to reset his expectation as to what he wanted, what we play and what we had been told, and said if he wanted we'll go as I didn't think that loud guitar solos would be their thing - to which he just grunted 'Well you'll have to do your best!' He then says that he'd like us to be set up and ready to go in 20 minutes as that's when the host arrives...great on the hottest day of the year.

    So we work our nads off and set everything up (including a 1.5k PA and lights) and proceed to start playing our set of our most polite tunes when she arrives. Cut a long story short......

    1) Loudest silence ever after the first set as we were just stared at with utter contempt
    2) Some bloke unplugged and then plugged in our PA and blew the mixing desk
    3) They all started singing WWII songs (I mean the whole room) and boo'd us when we came back on
    4) Massive silence when we came back on
    5) Mixer blew again - change fuse
    6) Get deafening silence when finished
    7) Get told we're not being paid as we're not what was wanted. I politely explain that we were told it was a 40th party, not a 60th and that we gave him the option as to whether he wanted us to continue.....after 40 minutes he realised he wasn't winning the argument.
    8) In the rush to get out, the singer accidentally kicked part of the lighting rig and it proceeded to fall off the stage and shatter onto the floor.

    How stitched up were we - I still reckon the other band that cancelled just spoke with him and decided not to do it! The bloke who met us is still affectionately known as 'Sourface'.

    My bands pride themselves on being totally professional and after 00's of gigs and minor record deals I have never known a night like that...words really can't convey how bad it was!
    Ed: Actually, the last record I bought was by a band called Brand X
    Al: I make my living by viciously attacking something
    Mike: ...actually I don't drink.
    Sammy: Are these yours Eddie?
    Dave: Look at that ankle - dirty girl!

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
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    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
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    my worst gig....1999, when taking a break between sets, our drummer decided to go outside and do a few rails off the bumper of my truck. he comes back 5 minutes late, the bar owner is PISSED and starts keeping the beat waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too fast. we had to constantly slow him down. later that evening, some of our audience decided to line up mass quantities of surfer on acid shots, which i took the majority of. i ended up sitting on top of my bass amp, and totally forgot how to play. i had to get one of my friends in the audience to finish the last 4 or so songs of the night, and i woke up with a monster hangover.
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  12. #12
    Romeo Delight
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    04.14.10 @ 11:42 PM
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    lol @ all these stories ...keep em coming!

    never been in a band myself, now Im starting to realise why...

  13. #13
    Baluchitherium
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    lol some of these are great.
    i have a few to add...

    an old band of mine were playing a gig in a town called minehead in this real shitty pub, i had, about 30 minutes before we went on, dropped some acid (i was 18 and stupid), well as soon as we came out the lights totaly blinded me, i walked forward to where i thought my pedals were only to discover there was nothing under my feet at all....i walked clean off the front of the stage and face planted onto the floor, it totaly killed the big opening to highway to hell!

    another time at one of the music live shows held in birmingham i went over to the marshall stand....jim marshall was there and tony iomi was on the opostite stand (laney i think it was), there was a bank of marshall amps and a les paul leaning up against them, i walked over and thought it would be cool to play something as all the amps were wired together, so once again a gp for the big A chord....the guitar was totaly out of tune and i sounded like an asshole....jim marshall and tony iomi both looked at me in a way i'll never forget.

    finally, during a break between sets some fool turned my 5150 stack to 10.
    i promptly struck a chord and i shit you not, it spun me round, not to mention deafened me and half the audience, i was only about 3 feet away from it, i guyess i should have noticed coz of the hum it was making after i switched the stand by on!
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

    And with that I'm off to the kitchen to make myself a lesbian omelette...LLFHS in response to one of Graeme's post's


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  14. #14
    Romeo Delight
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    Quote Originally Posted by tommywho5150 View Post
    lol some of these are great.
    i have a few to add...

    an old band of mine were playing a gig in a town called minehead in this real shitty pub
    minehead is about 20 mins drive from where I live. at least you weren't playing at Butlins
    Last edited by DBC; 08.16.08 at 08:57 PM.

  15. #15
    Baluchitherium
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    Quote Originally Posted by DBC View Post
    minehead is about 20 mins drive from where I live. at least you weren't playing at Butlins
    yeah but i was working there, summer of 94
    http://www.facebook.com/Tommywho5150

    And with that I'm off to the kitchen to make myself a lesbian omelette...LLFHS in response to one of Graeme's post's


    "The anal beads may have scarred SNIC for life. That guy is tough as fucking nails!! No normal guy could take anal beads to the head and survive! "...OLO on SNIC's near death experience at TLW

    "I'm a 45-year-old man, and I still like to wear a thong or a speedo when I go swimming.
    Not because I have a great body, it's just an easy way to make sure I have the hotel swimming pool all to myself."...Bullwinkle for quite obvious reasons!

    "Dude, the cashier gave me the creepiest sneer when he rang up my unmentionables!"...Sassy Lassy during a Facebook conversation!

 

 

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