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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Chicago
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    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
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    Default 10 best excuses for coming into work late

    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    They're all shit
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    I've always gone for

    "Sorry I didn't come in this morning but I was still drunk"
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  3. #3
    Forum Frontman fudd's Avatar
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    Earth
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    Favorite VH Album

    Fair warning, 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    HAIL, love walks in, 5150
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    Default

    I had diaheria, that works pretty well. So does telling your boss a manure truck jack-knifed on the highway and all lanes were closed.

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
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    5. My route to work was shut down by a Presidential motorcade.



    Back in 1996, I was working down in Santa Barbara and President Clinton was leaving town. I was actually late to work because the Secret Service shut down my exit for work off the 101.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    05.31.02
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    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Women Down
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    Chicken Feet for Breakfast
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    In the bizarro world I now live in, I actually dread my day off.
    My boss actually told me to NOT cut my hair and I've been instructed
    to drink MORE.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistere View Post
    In the bizarro world I now live in, I actually dread my day off.
    My boss actually told me to NOT cut my hair and I've been instructed
    to drink MORE.
    I didn't know you were a bus driver.
    2-time Fantasy Baseball Champion.

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    It's a short bus, I'm surprised you can't see me from the back.

  8. #8
    Unchained Stidham's Avatar
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    Once, Cathedral, Poundcake
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    10.11.14 @ 03:02 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistere View Post
    It's a short bus, I'm surprised you can't see me from the back.

    Ladies and gentlemen, hobos and tramps, Cross-eyed mosquitoes and bowlegged ants; I'm here before you to stand behind you To tell you something I know nothing about... ~Sammy Hagar

    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...LSe/weight.png

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
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    Fair Warning
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    You\'re Kidding,right?
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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    My two standards are:

    "I shit myself in the car on the way to work and I had to go home to change"

    and

    "I was getting a blowjob".

    I've never had a problem with either one and I've never been pressed for more details.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


    My Blog:

    http://axxman300tool.blogspot.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/axxman300

  10. #10
    Eruption Goldustgrl's Avatar
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    tough decision
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    05.04.13 @ 04:04 PM
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    Just hoping for the day I can call in RICH!
    Hit the lottery last night folks, sorry, I won't be in EVER AGAIN
    Van Halen

    April 1978 Palladium, NYC
    March 1984 MSG, NYC
    July 1986 Meadowlands, NJ
    Oct 1988 Nassau Coliseum, NY
    July 1993 Jones Beach, NY
    April 1995 Nassau Coliseum, NY
    Oct 2007 Mohegan Sun, CT
    Nov 2007 Nassau Coliseum, NY
    May 2008 MSG, NYC

    DLR June 2003 Westbury Music Fair, NY

  11. #11
    Gird your loins Daisy Hill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
    My two standards are:

    "I shit myself in the car on the way to work and I had to go home to change"

    .

    I have to think the shitting yourself thing has to be a one-off otherwise your boss will start to think you have irritable bowel syndrom or an addiction to ALLI or something.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mistere View Post
    It's a short bus, I'm surprised you can't see me from the back.
    Good one.
    2-time Fantasy Baseball Champion.

  13. #13
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    Feels So Good (deal with it...
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    12.08.17 @ 12:46 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldustgrl View Post
    Just hoping for the day I can call in RICH!
    Hit the lottery last night folks, sorry, I won't be in EVER AGAIN
    You are a better person than me....I am not sure I would call in at all. Ok..maybe that is a bit harsh...I would call in from an airplane.
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

  14. #14
    Eruption Goldustgrl's Avatar
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    tough decision
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetguy5150 View Post
    You are a better person than me....I am not sure I would call in at all. Ok..maybe that is a bit harsh...I would call in from an airplane.
    Definately!!!!
    Van Halen

    April 1978 Palladium, NYC
    March 1984 MSG, NYC
    July 1986 Meadowlands, NJ
    Oct 1988 Nassau Coliseum, NY
    July 1993 Jones Beach, NY
    April 1995 Nassau Coliseum, NY
    Oct 2007 Mohegan Sun, CT
    Nov 2007 Nassau Coliseum, NY
    May 2008 MSG, NYC

    DLR June 2003 Westbury Music Fair, NY

  15. #15
    Eruption ChrisTheEdHead's Avatar
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    the next one!
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    03.11.12 @ 12:55 PM
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    Default

    Me: Sorry I was late, I was standing in line for the new VH album
    Boss: Yeah, right...next thing you'll be telling me you shit your pants on the way to work.
    "Look, I'll pay you for it, what the f**k?!"

    "If I don't make her happy in the bedroom the wife gets bitchy for days at a time, but when I come to bed ready for action she laughs and laughs. She even laughs while I make my moves so I know I must be pleasing her as only I can do."
    The one, the only..Wengie

    "Denny Crane" - Denny Crane

 

 

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