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  1. #1
    Romeo Delight
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    Default Six Levels of Hangovers

    The Six Levels of Hangovers

    I've seen level six a few times in my younger years.

    One Star Hangover:
    No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap,
    which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. You are, however, still parched. You can drink ten sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.

    Two Star Hangover:
    No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie-tootie-fresh-and-fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

    Three Star Hangover:
    Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.
    Anytime a girl walks by, you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd
    you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed
    with a dozen donuts and a meatball hero watching the E! fashion awards.
    You've had four cups of coffee, a gallon of water, three Snapples and a litre of diet coke, and yet you haven't peed once.

    Four Star Hangover:
    Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you
    might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but the sunglasses advertise the fact that your eyes are nothing but two lumps that cause grinding-wincing pain every time you move them. Water, water, everywhere and not enough to drink.

    Five Star Hangover:
    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the
    employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to remove the remnants of the shit fairy. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, or why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house. You swear off alcohol for a week. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to get up before you. Death seems pretty good right now.

    Six Star Hangover (a.k.a. "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell"):
    You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about two seconds, an image of the ceiling wobbles by your field of vision, and you wonder if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from five hours ago. You try to lift your head. Not an option. You inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell from your hair the funk of four packs of
    cigarettes. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights... some jackass handed you Player's Green, and you smoked them like it was your second full-time job. Wavering and nauseous, you claw your way
    up the sink to look in the mirror only to see faint remnants of the stamp
    "Ready to Rock" atop your forehead...... the stamp on the back of your
    hand which has magically appeared on your forehead by alcohol-osmosis. Tile imprints decorate your cheek, forehead, nose, arm....... You swear off alcohol forever. You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes 32 seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and pulling the bedsheets over your head. The toilet is your best friend. All day. Death is preferable right now.
    >
    >Yet drinking tonight SEEMS like a good idea !!!

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Alas, I've only reached but a level 5. Of course that was a few years ago. Now it's nothing higher than a 2.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  3. #3
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by a.f.u. for vh View Post
    You can drink ten sodas and still feel this way.
    Um, the soda just makes it worse. In my younger day, I would drink
    Jack and Coke. And feel like shit. Now I drink vodka and juice the worst
    of it is being a little tired the next day. Learned the hard way, but Coke
    is crap. And there's no way it's gonna quench your thirst. Especially
    when you're already dehydrated. I drank a rum and coke last nite
    out of politeness and was worthless all day. Fuck that noise.
    Last edited by mistere; 04.29.08 at 02:39 PM.

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Yeah soda does nothing for dehydration, at least not for me. I down a lot of water and/or juice. My worst hangover I could only eat/drink chicken broth with a couple of crackers - maybe. T/G I'm too old for that crap b/c I definitely don't miss the hangovers.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  5. #5
    Good Enough
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    12.14.17 @ 07:08 AM
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    Default

    I try and do as much gatorade and water I can. For some reason i crave Mexican food on a bad hangover.

    I love the line about drinking all those fluids and you've peed only once.

    I'm pretty much of the opinion that time is the only cure.
    Dealing with it.

  6. #6
    Good Enough Tropical Storm Tracey's Avatar
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    11.18.17 @ 07:19 PM
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    No matter how bad you are hung over...2pm will come. Especially after you have napped since 12pm. At 2-all is well. Sometimes 3. Don't know what it is...maybe a magic number but it seems to work for me.

    Course it's been a looooonnnnngggg time since I have had to worry about that. Thank Goodness.

    TST<-----------TLW here we come!------------

  7. #7
    Summer Nights in Cabo SNIC's Avatar
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    10.19.17 @ 06:44 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tropical Storm Tracey View Post
    No matter how bad you are hung over...2pm will come. Especially after you have napped since 12pm. At 2-all is well. Sometimes 3. Don't know what it is...maybe a magic number but it seems to work for me.

    Course it's been a looooonnnnngggg time since I have had to worry about that. Thank Goodness.

    TST<-----------TLW here we come!------------
    You and HH better bring your "A" game to TLW. If I am up before 12, everyone will be up before 12 (except KT who is sleeping for two) Keeps the playing field even that way. I don't want to be the only one drunk and obnoxious the next day. I have standards you know!!!

    Artists I Have Seen: 1D, 38 Special, Aerosmith, Alabama, Bad Company, Bad English, Billy Squire, Bob Seger, Bon Jovi, Boston, BTO, Cheap Trick, Chicago, Chickenfoot, Cinderella, Daughtry, Dave Matthews Band, Default, Def Leppard, Dio, Dokken, Drowning Pool, Eagles, Earth Wind & Fire, Eddie Money, Eric Clapton, Farenheit, Fleetwood Mac, Foreigner, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Glass Tiger, Heart, Huey Lewis and the News, Jackson Browne, Jimmy Buffett, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Joe Bonamassa, John Mellencamp, Journey, Keel, Kingdom Come, Kings X, KISS, Kool and the Gang, Krokus, Lionel Richie, Little River Band, Lou Gramm, Loverboy, Los Lonely Boys, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Metallica, Michael Bolton, Nickelback, Night Ranger, Paul Stanley, Peter Frampton, Pink Floyd, Poison, Red Rider, REO Speedwagon, Santana, Sammy Hagar, Shinedown, Steely Dan, Steve Miller Band, Styx, Ted Nugent, Tesla, The 1975, The Black Crowes, The Roots, The Wallflowers, U2, Van Halen, Whitesnake, Zac Brown Band, ZZ Top

  8. #8
    On Fire TAMPA VH's Avatar
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    09.09.11 @ 02:13 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by a.f.u. for vh View Post
    The Six Levels of Hangovers

    I've seen level six a few times in my younger years.

    One Star Hangover:
    No pain. No real feeling of illness. Your sleep last night was a mere disco nap,
    which has given you a whole lot of misplaced energy. Be glad that you are able to function relatively well. You are, however, still parched. You can drink ten sodas and still feel this way. You are craving a steak bomb and a side of gravy fries.

    Two Star Hangover:
    No pain, but something is definitely amiss. You may look okay but you have the mental capacity of a staple gun. The coffee you are chugging is only exacerbating your rumbling gut, which is craving a rootie-tootie-fresh-and-fruity pancake breakfast from IHOP. There is some definite havoc being wreaked upon your bowels.

    Three Star Hangover:
    Slight headache. Stomach feels crappy. You are definitely not productive.
    Anytime a girl walks by, you gag because her perfume reminds you of the random gin shots you did with your alcoholic friends after the bouncer 86'd
    you at 1:45 a.m. Life would be better right now if you were in your bed
    with a dozen donuts and a meatball hero watching the E! fashion awards.
    You've had four cups of coffee, a gallon of water, three Snapples and a litre of diet coke, and yet you haven't peed once.

    Four Star Hangover:
    Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can't speak too quickly or else you
    might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture for reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but the sunglasses advertise the fact that your eyes are nothing but two lumps that cause grinding-wincing pain every time you move them. Water, water, everywhere and not enough to drink.

    Five Star Hangover:
    You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the
    employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing your teeth in an attempt to remove the remnants of the shit fairy. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva, so your tongue is suffocating you. You definitely don't remember who you were with, where you were, what you drank, or why there is a stranger still sleeping in your bed at your otherwise empty house. You swear off alcohol for a week. It is amazing how your roommate was as drunk as you, but somehow managed to get up before you. Death seems pretty good right now.

    Six Star Hangover (a.k.a. "Dante's 4th Circle of Hell"):
    You wake up on your bathroom floor. For about two seconds, an image of the ceiling wobbles by your field of vision, and you wonder if the cool refreshing feeling on your cheek is the bathroom tile or your vomit from five hours ago. You try to lift your head. Not an option. You inadvertently turn your head too quickly and smell from your hair the funk of four packs of
    cigarettes. Suddenly you realize you were smoking, but not ultra lights... some jackass handed you Player's Green, and you smoked them like it was your second full-time job. Wavering and nauseous, you claw your way
    up the sink to look in the mirror only to see faint remnants of the stamp
    "Ready to Rock" atop your forehead...... the stamp on the back of your
    hand which has magically appeared on your forehead by alcohol-osmosis. Tile imprints decorate your cheek, forehead, nose, arm....... You swear off alcohol forever. You have to be to work in t-minus 14 minutes 32 seconds and the only thing you can think of wearing is your "hello kitty" pajamas and pulling the bedsheets over your head. The toilet is your best friend. All day. Death is preferable right now.
    >
    >Yet drinking tonight SEEMS like a good idea !!!
    Dude, if you came up with all of that on your own, you should write a hangover book. That is some of the funniest shit i have ever read and brings back alot of memories from the 80's hair band i was in.
    If you bring this much to the table, why don't you post more?

    Superb !!

  9. #9
    Good Enough Tropical Storm Tracey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Summer Nights in Cabo View Post
    You and HH better bring your "A" game to TLW. If I am up before 12, everyone will be up before 12 (except KT who is sleeping for two) Keeps the playing field even that way. I don't want to be the only one drunk and obnoxious the next day. I have standards you know!!!


    Crap! We will all be in the same house too...damn. Ok, we will get up but only if Sisca will come over early and make us some Bloody's. That or you will have to make the coffee and bring it to us. Three Splenda's and some creamer please...for me anyway. 2 sugars and creamer for HH. Then let the fun begin!

    TST<----------or maybe I can lock the door? LOL J/K---------
    Last edited by Tropical Storm Tracey; 04.29.08 at 03:40 PM.

  10. #10
    Banned!
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    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
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    800 milligrams of ibuprofen and lots of water have always worked for me.

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Wow hope you guys are practicing.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  12. #12
    Banned! i1sum2!'s Avatar
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    Yeah, the six rules thang has been around awhile for sure. But, nobody ever talks about the seventh.....

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk edwardv's Avatar
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    I think I had a 5 after Greensboro NC on the VH4 Tour.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by i1sum2! View Post
    Yeah, the six rules thang has been around awhile for sure. But, nobody ever talks about the seventh.....
    Dare I ask...........?

    Please elaborate on the seventh rule if you don't mind.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  15. #15
    Eruption Icecream-man's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 02:58 AM
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    Yeah add some "stylish" drugs to go along with the drinking and you'll need more than just Virgil to lead you out of Hell...i did some beans one night while i was drinking rather heavily (baccardi & cola "It Gets the Job Done") all i really remember is throwing up violently in my buddies car...him dragging me into his parent's house...and then sweet sweet darkness...
    next morning i wake up in the middle of his family room on the carpet...pick my head up feel like my eyeball still on the ground...look around each eye looking in a different direction notice i'm naked and that his younger sister is 10 feet away in the kitchen eating cheerios and watching cartoons...

    what is it with ecstasy...it always makes you want to strip your clothes off

    i wish like you other guys i could say that this was a long time ago in my "younger days" but it wasn't that long ago
    anyway i sat in the fetal position all day long and didn't feel good enough to put anything in my mouth (solid or liquid) until 10pm

    Disclaimer: For any impressionable youths reading this do not do drugs they suck (well at least some of them do)
    Kosovo Je Srbija

 

 

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