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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    10.28.16 @ 04:08 AM
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    Default When Grandma Goes To Court

    When Grandma Goes To Court

    Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
    In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.'

    The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?'

    She again replied, 'Why yes, I do I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
    youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know him.'

    The defense attorney nearly died.

    The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said,
    'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.'
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit - The site where you are the search engine.

  2. #2
    Eruption Executionor's Avatar
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    03.03.15 @ 07:24 PM
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    HAH! I needed that laugh. That is too funny.
    "Knowing is not enough, we must apply,willing is not enough, we must do" -Goethe

    Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.--Sir James Dewar, Scientist (1877-1925)

    Always drink upstream from the herd...
    --Will Rogers

    It is amazing how much some people can do with so little, however, what is even more amazing to me is how little some people can do with so much.
    --Somewhat me, mostly someone else, not sure who



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