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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    01.27.03
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    11.19.17 @ 09:41 AM
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    Default Faux pas - oops, sorry 'bout that

    I love to hear those little moments when, oblivious to the world around you, you make a monumentally embarrasing fuckmook of yourself. Those cringemaking moments when you just have no comeback, excuse or explanation except to just stand there and look like a total dickhead.

    My best "can't you just hear the silence" moment.....

    New girlfriend and first meeting with the parents.We arrived at their house, I was washed, shaved, not hungover and running through all my charming maxims that didn't include "How are ya doing? I'm banging your daughter and let me tell you...".
    The doorbell is pressed, everyone smiles (too much), lots of handshakes and we walk through the hallway into the lounge.
    It is, at this moment, I see the father's face. He is looking down at the very expensive cream carpet and the trail of bright dog shit that I have unwittingly trailed in from the front door.
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk bsbll4's Avatar
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    02.18.03
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    St. Louis, MO
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    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen/ADKOT
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    Hot For Teacher
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    12.12.17 @ 02:48 PM
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    Default

    Here's a common one:

    My friend's mom has been a nurse for over 30 years. She was walking in the supermarket one day and saw a pregnant lady. Being gregarious she made her way over to the young woman and asked: "When are you due!"

    The woman replied: "I'm not pregnant."

    Foot, meet mouth.
    CNN may think my opinion matters, but you shouldn't.

  3. #3
    Eruption
    Join Date
    10.15.05
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    Rochester Hills, MI
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    Runnin' With the Devil
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    12.12.17 @ 03:10 PM
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    Default

    I was a producer on an AM Drive show for a sports talk radio show about 10 years ago. We get a lot of e-mails from PR firms about guests we may want to have on to discuss sports and whatever it is they are promoting and I always forward the e-mail to the hosts with something like "hey, you guys want this guy on? it may be good for the show" etc etc. One day, I got an e-mail from a PR firm and Jack Youngblood (pro football great) saying that Jack wanted to come on our show for 10 minutes to talk about the NFL playoffs and screening for prostate cancer. It was extremely tired in the morning when I got the e-mail and typed in something like "hey guys, Jack Youngblood wants to talk playoffs and check out your asses" or something really smart alecky to make the hosts laugh when they read it. As soon as I hit SEND I realized I didn't forward it to anyone and that I hit REPLY by mistake. I just sat there blankly and looked at my computer with this "Oh shit" expression my face. About 10 minutes later I was on the phone to the PR guy saying "yeah, uh, my bad, I'm really sorry. Uh, can you tell Jack I'm really sorry too?".

  4. #4
    Hot For Teacher Mark5150s's Avatar
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    Mean Street
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    12.04.17 @ 07:26 PM
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    Default

    After hearing a couple of comedians joke about this, I still fell into it: After an airline rep told us to have a good flight after taking care of the check in stuff, I said "You too!" "Ummm, in case you go on a trip someday..."
    <Insert favorite VH song lyrics here>

  5. #5
    Eruption timmac's Avatar
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    07.14.04
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    Dallas, TX
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    VH I
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    Mean Street
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    11.25.17 @ 10:26 AM
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    Donor

    Default

    I was meeting with a prospective client a couple weeks back. One older guy, one much younger, both with the same last name. I ass-u-me-d that they were father and son. Older gentleman had a wedding ring on, so I asked him if his wife was still with us or had passed away. He looked at me and said that no, he'd never been married, and in fact it was his partner who was sitting next to him.

    Wow - I got about 31 shades of red and tried not to skip a beat. My shoe never tasted better.

    And they still hired me.
    Nothing to see here.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk bsbll4's Avatar
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    02.18.03
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    34
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    St. Louis, MO
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    Van Halen/ADKOT
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    Hot For Teacher
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    12.12.17 @ 02:48 PM
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    Premium Member

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by timmac View Post
    I was meeting with a prospective client a couple weeks back. One older guy, one much younger, both with the same last name. I ass-u-me-d that they were father and son. Older gentleman had a wedding ring on, so I asked him if his wife was still with us or had passed away. He looked at me and said that no, he'd never been married, and in fact it was his partner who was sitting next to him.

    Wow - I got about 31 shades of red and tried not to skip a beat. My shoe never tasted better.

    And they still hired me.
    This reminded me of another one:

    My first job out of college was selling office supplies door to door (it sounds more glamorous than what it was ). I was putting through an order one time and I was talking to this lady about Nebraska (not sure how we got on the topic). She talked about how there wasn't much there and I said: "Well it can't be as bad as Kansas. There is absolutely nothing in that entire state."

    She replied: "I grew up in Kansas."

    Shit. I still got the order, though
    CNN may think my opinion matters, but you shouldn't.

  7. #7
    Good Enough
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    12.12.17 @ 05:10 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mark5150s View Post
    After hearing a couple of comedians joke about this, I still fell into it: After an airline rep told us to have a good flight after taking care of the check in stuff, I said "You too!" "Ummm, in case you go on a trip someday..."
    Ah yes..the dreaded, unnecessary "you too" reply.

    Got it the other day, paid for my stuff. "Find everything you need?" yes.."Well come again!"

    "You too!" damnit!
    Dealing with it.

 

 

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