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Thread: Van Halen/ Tiger Woods/Las Vegas
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04.23.08, 09:45 AM #196
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- A Confederacy of Dunces
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03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM - Likes
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Sir Bedevere: There are ways of telling whether she is a witch.
Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ...A witch!Last edited by chefcraig; 04.23.08 at 09:48 AM.
"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."George Bernard Shaw
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04.23.08, 10:21 AM #197
- Join Date
- 02.15.08
- Age
- 51
- Location
- Virginia
- Posts
- 1,943
- Favorite VH Song
Drop Dead Legs - Last Online
01.06.12 @ 02:10 PM - Likes
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And there you have it folks!
Model Citizen, Zero Discipline
"***"...now please take off my VanHalen t-shirt, before you jinx the band and they break up..." (The wedding singer)"
*Thanks SNIC for my AWESOME new avatar!*
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04.23.08, 10:27 AM #198
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04.23.08, 10:31 AM #199
- Join Date
- 03.03.08
- Age
- 53
- Location
- Somewhere between here and there
- Posts
- 13,090
- Favorite VH Album
WACF, FW, DD - Favorite VH Song
At the moment, Little Guitars - Last Online
11.03.17 @ 01:35 PM - Likes
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11/05/78 Hollywood Sportatorium
12/10/82 Hollywood Sportatorium
01/20/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
01/21/84 Hollywood Sportatorium
02/16/08 Jacksonville Veterans Memorial Arena
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
I've got dreams in hidden places and extra smiles for when I'm blue.
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04.23.08, 10:58 AM #200
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04.23.08, 12:02 PM #201
- Join Date
- 04.11.08
- Age
- 44
- Location
- K-Town, Iowa
- Posts
- 165
- Favorite VH Album
Van Halen - Favorite VH Song
Mean Street - Last Online
08.10.08 @ 07:24 AM - Likes
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Wow, say what?
The Pulse of Radio reports that VAN HALEN helped raise more than $1.5 million for the Tiger Woods Foundation with the band's performance at the Tiger Jam XI fundraiser this past Saturday (April 19) at the Mandalay Bay resort in Las Vegas. According to a press release, VAN HALEN singer David Lee Roth made a personal donation of $100,000, while the VAN HALEN family donated another $100,000 and an autographed Eddie Van Halen guitar for auction.
The event was VAN HALEN's second performance after coming off the road five weeks ago so that Eddie Van Halen could undergo unspecified medical testing.
The group made its first live appearance since the break last Thursday (April 17) in Reno, Nevada, where SleazeRoxx.com reported that the quartet made a "triumphant return to the stage." Eddie Van Halen was said to be running and jumping around the stage throughout the evening.
The reasons for Eddie's testing have not been disclosed, nor has the current status of his condition.
The tour, the first in 22 years to feature Roth on the mic, continues on Thursday night (April 24) in Dallas.
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