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  1. #1
    Banned!
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    07.15.07 @ 04:40 AM
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    Wow...what a year it's been. Almost (excuse the pun) a year to the day after the announcement was made that David Hasselhoff had joined VH as their fourth singer, and before the highly publicised (check out back issues of German entertainment magazines) "All Systems Go" album was released, a new press release has been released signalling what may be a new round of questions regarding the future of VH.

    Apparently, Hasselhoff is intending to release a new, albeit different, solo album in the first quarter of 2001. No mention of Van Hasselhoff is mentioned in the press release. Could David Hasselhoff be leaving VH in order to return to his solo career (and record an album that assuredly noone will buy)? I'm not sure...but here's the full text of the press release. YOU decide!

    _____________________________________________

    January 2, 2001

    For immediate release:

    CMC International Records is proud to announce that David Hasselhoff, star of stage and screen, will release his newest album internationally through their label in the first quarter of 2001. The album, titled "Eat Your Mother Alive", represents a departure from Hasselhoff's traditional adult contemporary sound. Having recently become influenced by so-called "Death Metal" bands of the late 90s, Hasselhoff has attempted to infuse his powerful vocals with his love of this macabre art form.

    The album's provacative cover, which is reminiscent of The Beatles' infamous "Butcher Cover", features Hasselhoff wearing a blood-soaked apron, clutching a piece of raw meat in his mouth. He holds a meat cleaver in his right hand, and, as a tribute to his German fan base, a handfull of sauerkraut in his left.

    CMC is excited to enter into a partnership with the talented David Hasselhoff. Any questions regarding Mr. Hasselhoff or his new album should be directed to CMC International Records.


    David Hasselhoff: Eat Your Mother Alive - Track List

    1. Eat Your Mother Alive
    2. Anal Raped With a Broom Stick
    3. Fuck The Garbage Disposal
    4. Drano In Your Bowels
    5. DIE
    6. Mutilated German Skulls
    7. Autocannibalism Incorporated
    8. Eating Baby Brains
    9. Strangulation Teacher Sex
    10. Everybody Sunshine 2001

  2. #2
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    <BLOCKQUOTE>quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by JeffHarshman:
    9. Strangulation Teacher Sex <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    Definitely not Hot For Teacher.

    ------------------
    "Hey Down, my brotha, never ever forget your priorities... Beer first, trash second." - A life lesson, courtesy of track 5

    Official Bartender Of VHForums

  3. #3
    Beloved Glenn's Avatar
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    02.13.15 @ 07:56 AM
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    Donor

    I'd hate to see this album keep VH from having a number 1 album.

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    The Michael Jordan of Van Halen websites!!!
    www.vhlinks.com

  4. #4
    Baluchitherium JWS_5150's Avatar
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    05.18.09 @ 10:19 PM
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    Donor

    I find it impossible to stop laughing.

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    noNews != goodNews
    Roth-Era Van Halen. It does a CD player good.

    Dirty Faced Kid - until I take a shower

    The Realm | Millennium Edition

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
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    12.04.14 @ 10:23 PM
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    It bothers me to think this guy walks around loose........

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    VHlinks: Where the possessed go to mingle........
    Don't sweat the petty things in life, just pet the sweaty things........

  6. #6
    Romeo Delight
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    I get it. You're saying this whole thing - The Universe, Earth, Everybody - Could be taking place in one single atom in the thumbnail of some guy from another world. That's really Cool! Nw come here and lose the dress. Keep the shoes. . .

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    It's VooDoo baby


    [This message has been edited by *-{Head-Hunter}-* (edited January 01, 2001 at 05:22 PM).]

  7. #7
    Eye suffacozza YEWW! Goo's Avatar
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    09.29.16 @ 06:08 PM
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    Premium Member
    lol!! Not sure what I'm laughing at.. but I'm laughing

    Well now seeing The Hasslehoffster isnt joining VH *phew* I guess this belongs in a different, non VH forum. And death metal isn't music by my definition, and neither is Hasslehoff, and it's a joke post... so I'll move it to non vh meeting place. It's the only one left LOL.


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    A little zen... Headed your way...

 

 

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