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  1. #1
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    10.22.02
    Age
    55
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    The 2003 "State of Van Halen" Address
    by Tonto.

    My fellow native Americans:

    Tonto say the state of Van Halen sucks ass.

    5 years no new music.
    No singer.
    No record label.
    No management.
    No direction.
    No plans to record.
    No plans to do shit.
    Dave file suit.
    Ed hire lawyers.
    Ed tell other web people not to use his shit.
    No one see Alex for years.
    Ed get separated. Golf game still suck.
    Dave act like ass and show no class on tour.
    van-halen.com about as informative as staring at brick wall.
    Mikey more excited about peppers than anything else.
    Sammy at least get Mike on stage.
    Ed announce 100% clean health.
    Ed photographed smoking. (WTF???)
    Tonto get best VH info by reading tabloid and golf magazines.
    Tonto think Tonto glad he have many VH CD's.
    Tonto think that's all Tonto will ever have.
    Tonto go now to smoke more Peace Pipe.



    [ January 08, 2003, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: Tonto ]

  2. #2
    Eruption Red-Diamond's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.06.02
    Age
    31
    Location
    L.A. (Cabo in my mind)
    Posts
    1,155
    Favorite VH Album

    1984, Balance, Van Halen, 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Mike on SGMAD, Baluchetherium
    Last Online

    02.12.07 @ 02:44 PM
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    YEAH DUDE, PASS THE BONG [img]graemlins/drunk.gif[/img]
    How to make a “Mad Anthony”

    2 oz Cabo WaboŽ Tequila
    1 oz Spicy V8
    Juice from a fresh Lime
    A generous dollop of Mad Anthony’s Hot Sauce
    Combine in a shaker full of ice and shake it up
    Pour into shot glass garnished with
    a dab of salt
    a small slice of lime
    a slice of Serrano or Jalapeno chili pepper

  3. #3
    Top Of The World baddmann28's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.11.02
    Age
    45
    Location
    IL
    Posts
    149
    Favorite VH Album

    '78 -'96 baby!
    Favorite VH Song

    Drop Dead Legs... Enough said
    Last Online

    04.08.12 @ 04:51 PM
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    That's the best post I have read here!
    Those that say money cannot buy hapiness don't know where to shop.

  4. #4
    Good Enough wham bam will rock's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Location
    Hell and beyond
    Posts
    2,098
    Favorite VH Album

    Bark Like A Dog
    Favorite VH Song

    Act Like It Hurts
    Last Online

    09.23.16 @ 12:03 PM
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    766
    Liked 409 Times in 225 Posts

    Tonto=AVH. Ha! Yer busted Alex.
    "Never is just reven spelled backwards." -House

    "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" -THE Rob Gordon

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! Zahzoo's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.01
    Location
    3rd Stone From The Sun
    Posts
    3,488
    Favorite VH Album

    The Classic 6 Pack
    Favorite VH Song

    Take Your Whiskey Home
    Last Online

    09.03.16 @ 05:50 AM
    Likes
    62
    Liked 160 Times in 59 Posts

    Tonto one funny renegade... must share firewater with mighty ZahZoo sometime!!!

    Yatahay [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Woke up this mornin, got Blue Moon in your eyes...
    http://www.myretrolounge.com

  6. #6
    Hot For Teacher
    Join Date
    07.13.02
    Location
    TXUSA
    Posts
    263
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Last Online

    01.02.15 @ 08:39 PM
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    Kemosabe speak much wisdom.
    Eagle fly over arena rock coliseum, says mighty fire has grown cold, many moons to go in hopes old wolves return. Old wolves sleep in sun on golf course now...

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.11.00
    Location
    Cromwell, CT USA
    Posts
    15,966
    Favorite VH Song

    Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
    Last Online

    09.23.16 @ 04:13 PM
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    1,084
    Liked 831 Times in 511 Posts


    Premium Member
    Thank you Tonto for recapping 5 years of frustration. Do you have anything left in that Peace Pipe?
    Remember the Heroes - 9/11/01

    In 2012, the phoenix has risen!!

    "High speed, low drag."

    "Look at all the people here tonight!!!" - 10/5/07, 5/20/08 Mohegan Sun

    Congratulations to Van Halen as part of the Class of 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

    Cinco de Cabo @ Foxwoods: "A giant party with live music" - S. Hagar

    got tequila?

    http://keepitaliveforever.com

  8. #8
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    05.28.02
    Age
    84
    Location
    The wombcave
    Posts
    28
    Favorite VH Album

    number one
    Favorite VH Song

    atomic punk
    Last Online

    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    Back to work now Tonto. I'm not paying you 3 beads a day to jabber jaw.
    monkey see. monkey doo doo.

 

 

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