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  1. #1
    Good Enough badkaraoke's Avatar
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    01.15.14 @ 05:39 AM
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    Default BK's Great Canadian Open Letter Writing Contest!

    Let's say you've got something to say to someone who is Van Halen related but you just don't have a venue for your discourse? Solution: Do what Dave does - write an Open Letter and get it out in the Open!

    Since 1996 Open Letter Writing has been a time honoured tradition amongst members of Van Halen and its fans. It's time to institutionalize this concept with my "Great Canadian Open Letter Writing Contest!". Americans may enter too!

    Contest closes a month from today and I am the final judge. We might have voting by PM, I dunno.

    There will be a first second and third prize and absolutely no renumeration in any way shape or form for the winners - you get to be known as the guy who won "Best Open Van Halen Letter" this year..and so far that's about it. The letters can be anything you want, humor, pathos, criticism, praise, whatever...

    If someone wants to donate a prize or I think of something nice this will change, but I'm not made of money & I just want to have fun with this.

    This may fall flat on its ass (it may even get closed - hence the lack of effort) but hey at least I tried...

    bk
    Last edited by badkaraoke; 11.07.07 at 12:01 PM.

  2. #2
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    Ok...I have to admit that when I first read the thread title I thought "Why the fuck is Burger King having a Van Halen letter writing contest."
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Rather than needing to create something new, can I simply cut, paste and resubmit my "Open Letter From Axl Rose" from a few months back?
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  4. #4
    Good Enough
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetguy5150 View Post
    Ok...I have to admit that when I first read the thread title I thought "Why the fuck is Burger King having a Van Halen letter writing contest."
    I thought it was a grass roots effort to publicly slam Ray Daniels, who is Canadian, through some twisted Burger King contest...
    http://www.myspace.com/pennydreadfulnj

    “…and that’s when I learned that waterskiing and Quaaludes do not mix.”

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  5. #5
    Forum Frontman
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    Oh... I just flashed back to Gary Cherone's open letters to Eddie Vedder.

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    Dear Van Halen,

    I wish you had more naked women in your band. Because I really like naked women. Especially when they wrestle with each other. And sometimes they bake cookies. Which is good because I like cookies. And naked women.

    Thank you for reading this letter.

    A fan

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Has anyone seen those somewhat disturbing Burger King commercials wherein this group of "moms" wish to have the "Burger King" murdered because of a patty melt?

    I'd be willing to bet this thread is not turning out as you'd hoped, eh badkaraoke?
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    Dear Van Halen,

    Do you remember that concert you played in Minneapolis in 1982? I was in section 144, row X. I was wearing a black t-shirt.
    When the announcer yelled "Hello, Minneapolis. Are you ready?" My shoe was untied and I was waving my hand and saying "Wait a minute. My shoe's untied", but you went ahead and started playing anyway.
    I'm still upset about that.

    Yours truly,

    An ex-fan

  9. #9
    Good Enough badkaraoke's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post

    I'd be willing to bet this thread is not turning out as you'd hoped, eh badkaraoke?

    Nah..just patiently waiting for someone to confess a murder or something...

    Throw it up against the wall..see if it sticks..serve it to people as food..you know the drill.

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium
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    Dear Eddie Van Halen,

    Thanks for finally dumping Michael Anthony from your band. That fat little bitch was bad news.

    Only in one band (not two...and neither of them with Sammy Hagar),
    Metal Marc

    "The shit I read on this site." -- Dave's Dreidel (Nov 6th, 2013)

    "Don't ever confuse talent with fame." -- Bob Lefsetz

    "There's very little greatness in this world, but in the crucible of quality there's a special corner reserved for Van Halen." -- Bob Lefsetz

  11. #11
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Metal Marc View Post
    Dear Eddie Van Halen,

    Thanks for finally dumping Michael Anthony from your band. That fat little bitch was bad news.

    Only in one band (not two...and neither of them with Sammy Hagar),
    Metal Marc
    Ok...just spit up my green tea laughing at your sig. I am totally stealing your "Metal Marc only uses..." thing. Of course I won't use it here but that needs to stolen! Too fucking funny man.
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

  12. #12
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    Dear Van Halen,

    I've been dating this really hot chick for a while now. She's blonde with green eyes and a great body. She's been staying over at my place and we have sex all night. When we wake up in the morning, we do it in the shower and then do it some more on the bed before we go to work. I can't wait to get done with work today so I can rush home and have more sex with my hot girlfriend.

    Sincerely,

    Having Lots of Sex With A Hot Chick

  13. #13
    Good Enough
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    Dear Van Halen,

    Why bother replacing a pudgy bass player with a high-pitched voice with, well...you get the idea....What's next: replacing your current singer with a balding flamer who has a penchant for effeminant clothing?

    Regards,
    Bill Shattner

    p.s. Thanks so much for ruining the legacy of one of the world's greatest bands with your actions over the last 15 years or so.
    Last edited by Otis5150; 11.08.07 at 11:42 AM.
    http://www.myspace.com/pennydreadfulnj

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  14. #14
    Baluchitherium
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    Quote Originally Posted by Otis5150 View Post
    p.s. Thanks so much for ruining the legacy of one of the world's greatest bands with your actions over the last 15 years or so.
    Word! But let's not forget to give credit where credit is due: Mr. Ray Danniels. He's, like, the Dick Cheney of Rock Managers!

    "The shit I read on this site." -- Dave's Dreidel (Nov 6th, 2013)

    "Don't ever confuse talent with fame." -- Bob Lefsetz

    "There's very little greatness in this world, but in the crucible of quality there's a special corner reserved for Van Halen." -- Bob Lefsetz

  15. #15
    Baluchitherium Guitar Shark's Avatar
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    Bullwinkle, your posts are KILLING me dude.

 

 

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