Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    12.25.01
    Age
    53
    Location
    Carmel, Ca
    Posts
    7,954
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    You\'re Kidding,right?
    Last Online

    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Hitler's Attemps At Controlling Green-House Gas..er..Backfired.

    Okay, I thought that I'd read everything about Der Fuhrer, until today:

    http://www.thesmartset.com/article/article10240701.aspx

    Scent of a Führer
    Hitler wanted to control the world. But he couldn't even control his flatulence.

    By Tony Perrottet


    Guests at the Berghof, Hitler’s private chalet in the Bavarian Alps, must have endured some unpleasant odors in the otherwise healthful mountain air.


    It may sound like a Woody Allen scenario, but medical historians are unanimous that Adolf was the victim of uncontrollable flatulence. Spasmodic stomach cramps, constipation and diarrhea, possibly the result of nervous tension, had been Hitler’s curse since childhood and only grew more severe as he aged. As a stressed-out dictator, the agonizing digestive attacks would occur after most meals: Albert Speer recalled that the Führer, ashen-faced, would leap up from the dinner table and disappear to his room.


    This was an embarrassing problem for a ruthless leader of the Third Reich. With uncharacteristic concern for his fellow human beings, Hitler had first tried to cure himself when he was a rising politician in 1929 by poring over medical manuals, coming to the conclusion that a largely veg diet would calm his turbulent digestion as well as make his farts less offensive to the nose. A rabid hypochondriac, he would also examine his own feces on a regular basis and administer himself camomile enemas. Hitler decided to swear off meat completely in 1931, when his niece (and presumed romantic interest) Geli Raubel committed suicide: When presented with a plate of breakfast ham the next morning, he pushed it away muttering, “It’s like eating a corpse.” From that squeamish moment on, great piles of vegetables, raw or pulped into a baby mulch, were Hitler’s daily staple. (All cooked foods, he decided, were carcinogenic). He showed a particular fondness, culinary historians assure us, for oatmeal with linseed oil, cauliflower, cottage cheese, boiled apples, artichoke hearts and asparagus tips in white sauce. Strangely, Hitler was unfazed by the fact that this high-fiber diet was having the opposite effect on his digestion than what he had intended: His private physician, Dr. Theo Morell, recorded in his diary that after Hitler downed a typical vegetable platter, “constipation and colossal flatulence occurred on a scale I have seldom encountered before.”


    Hitler’s stomach problems may even have played their part in his losing the war, thanks to this shadowy figure of Dr. Morell, an incompetent quack who took over Hitler’s medical care in 1937. The pair had met at a Christmas gathering in the Berghof, the bucolic mountain retreat decorated with Bavarian knick-knacks and edelweiss, the year before. Morrell was an unpleasant figure even by Nazi standards – grossly obese, with frog-like features, sulfurous B.O. and venomous halitosis. But when he cured a painful case of eczema on Hitler’s legs and provided temporary relief for his stomach cramps, the Führer was won over. To the irritation of other Nazi doctors, Hitler then proceeded to swallow any of Morell’s advice, no matter how hair-brained, for the next eight years.


    For example, to combat recurrences of the volcanic stomach problems, Morell plied him with a remedy called “Dr. Köster’s Anti-gas pills,” which contained significant amounts of strychnine – and Hitler often took as many as 16 of the little black pills a day. The sallow skin, glaucous eyes and attention lapses noted by observers later in the war are consistent with strychnine poisoning; another ingredient in the pills, antropine, causes mood wings from euphoria to violent anger. Even more peculiar were the injections of amphetamines that Morell administered every morning before breakfast from 1941, which may have exacerbated the erratic behavior, inflexibility, paranoia and indecision that Hitler began to display increasingly as the war ground on. And there was a barrage of other supplements -- vitamins, testosterone, liver extracts, laxatives, sedatives, glucose and opiates, all intended to combat the dictator’s real or imagined ailments. After the war, U.S. intelligence officers discovered that Morell was pumping Hitler with 28 different drugs, including eye-drops that contained 10 percent cocaine (up to 10 treatment a day), a concoction made from human placenta and “potency pills” made from ground bull’s testicles. But despite the barrage of medicines, Morell’s diaries (which were recovered from Germany and are kept in the National Archives in Washington, D.C.) make clear that the bouts of “agonizing flatulence” remained a regular occurrence.


    A relatively healthy man when he met Morell, Hitler degenerated quickly towards the end of the war until he was a physical wreck. Hitler’s arms were so riddled with hypodermic marks that even the normally passive Eva Braun complained to her mother about Morell as “the injection quack.” When Hitler came down with jaundice in 1944, three Nazi doctors tried to have Morell fired. But the Führer remained fiercely loyal – or just as likely, addicted to his chemical cocktails – and dismissed the trio of troublemakers instead. Morell stayed with Hitler in the Bunker almost until the bitter end, as his patient began to fall apart completely (and a tremor in his left hand became uncontrollable, a probable symptom of advancing Parkinson’s disease). On April 20, 1945, days before the Russians took Berlin, Hitler suddenly refused Morell’s hypodermic, ordered him to strip off his uniform and leave. Desperately ill himself, Morell was soon captured by the U.S. Army and kept in prison for two years of interrogations, but was never charged with war crimes. He was hospitalized immediately after his release and died in 1948.


    If he had not been so cravenly devoted to Hitler, a hero-worship he expressed over and again to U.S. interrogators, one might have thought Morell a spy. It was a suspicion that had occurred to other Nazis, especially during the 1944 jaundice attack. Heinrich Himmler interrogated Morell’s assistant Richard Weber in Berlin’s Gestapo Headquarters about whether the doctor was deliberately poisoning the Führer with his treatments. “Out of the question,” Weber replied. “Morell’s too big a coward for that.” • 24 October 2007

    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


    My Blog:

    http://axxman300tool.blogspot.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/axxman300

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    12.25.01
    Age
    53
    Location
    Carmel, Ca
    Posts
    7,954
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    You\'re Kidding,right?
    Last Online

    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    I can't wait for the the two-hour History Channel special, maybe Mike Rowe can host it.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


    My Blog:

    http://axxman300tool.blogspot.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/axxman300

  3. #3
    5150 YO!Edward's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.13.04
    Age
    36
    Location
    Lancashire(Preston and Manchester), England...the ORIGINAL, NOT 'New England'
    Posts
    618
    Favorite VH Album

    VH 3 and 5150
    Last Online

    09.04.12 @ 11:15 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Sieg Heil Der Farter!
    'The whole world is watching you tonight!'

    Official VHLinks Van Halen 3 fan.

    'The III Brigade' - show your support for Van Halen 3 by wearing this sig!

    Recognise VH3 for what it was! - A fantastic third incarnation of the greatest band of all time!


    YO!Edward and Mishar McLeud - founding members of the III Brigade.

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.07
    Location
    698 Sycamore Road, San Pueblo, CA
    Posts
    2,789
    Favorite VH Album

    Sound Magazine
    Favorite VH Song

    I Think I Love You
    Last Online

    06.07.15 @ 10:30 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default

    When Der Fuehrer says,
    "We is der master race",
    We Heil! (pfft)
    Heil! (pfft)
    Right in Der Fuehrer's face...

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.26.00
    Age
    51
    Location
    The Mighty Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    7,807
    Favorite VH Album

    All 6 of em!!
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Looks like Der Fuhrer had a high carb diet, which no doubt also included some good German beer. Dunno if the Nazi scientists had this figured out yet, but it's carbs which make you fart. I was on the Atkins diet for several months, ate very minimal carbs, and soon discovered this scientific fact. No farts. Seriously.

    Somebody get Adolf some kielbasa and a Beano chaser!!
    Eat Us And Smile

    Welcome back, Van HALEN!!!!

    ...It's the BAND and Dave is really the cat that can front VH. He sang his ASS off and was really cool. No cheese here guys, this is filet Mignon! - Steve Lukather's comment after witnessing a Van HALEN 2007 rehearsal

    "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears?"- 1 Samuel 15:14

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.01.02
    Location
    A Confederacy of Dunces
    Posts
    19,370
    Last Online

    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FORD View Post
    ...Somebody get Adolf some kielbasa and a Beano chaser!!
    Uhhh, ye-es General Burkhalter, I'll get to that immediately...

    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Green Day
    By Vince G. in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Music Only)
    Replies: 132
    Last Post: 03.05.17, 06:40 PM
  2. Wine Labels With Hitler's Image Siezed In Italy.
    By Axxman300 in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 09.23.07, 12:38 AM
  3. Owen Wilson attemps suicide
    By Darby in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 97
    Last Post: 09.02.07, 12:18 PM
  4. New Restaurant Bears Hitler's Name
    By Phatie in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 08.23.06, 07:59 PM
  5. Foo Fighters vs. Green Day
    By No Bozo's in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Music Only)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 12.07.00, 08:50 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •