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  1. #1
    Eruption Darby's Avatar
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    Default Human race will 'split into two different species'

    Human race will 'split into two different species'

    The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.

    100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed.

    The alarming prediction comes from evolutionary theorist Oliver Curry from the London School of Economics, who says that the human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000.

    These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years.

    "Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," says the report, which suggests that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance.

    Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, according to Curry in a report commissioned for men's satellite TV channel Bravo.

    Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts, according to Curry.

    Racial differences will be a thing of the past as interbreeding produces a single coffee-coloured skin tone.

    The future for our descendants isn't all long life, perfect bodies and chiselled features, however.

    While humans will reach their peak in 1000 years' time, 10,000 years later our reliance on technology will have begun to dramatically change our appearance.

    Medicine will weaken our immune system and we will begin to appear more child-like.

    Dr Curry said: "The report suggests that the future of man will be a story of the good, the bad and the ugly.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Darby View Post
    Human race will 'split into two different species'

    The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures, according to a top scientist.
    A new take on the Roth / Hagar debate...
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voivod View Post
    A new take on the Roth / Hagar debate...
    Indeed.

    I already thought of half the army as Morlocks anyway.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  4. #4
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    Default Huh?

    How does sexual selection favor large breasts when we already select breasts that are (probably) not naturally large in the first place?

    Don't 99% of men have symmetrical faces and 99% of women
    have "smooth hairless skin" now?

    I think our technological evolution will have eclipsed our Darwinian counterpart in 1000 years - generously assuming we make it that far.
    But I'm no economist.

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    Yeah, but when I send my dim-witted ugly goblin to the grocery store, one of the wheels on his shopping cart will still go wobblewobblewobble...

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
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    Ziss ist vat vee hev been zaying all along. Vun day zee Mazter race vil rule ze planet!! Ziss Englisher ist a man avter mein own heart.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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  7. #7
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    That's probably one of the dumber things I've ever read.
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    A scientist came up with this??? Sounds like something Al watched on the cinematic classic, Breast Monsters From Jupiter.

    That's crazy. I think the scientist must've been flyin high on something b/c it sure wasn't his smarts.

    I kinda think we're already split but don't tell him.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  9. #9
    Atomic Punk Little Dreamer's Avatar
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    Doubtful. Men having to look perfect? What happened to just having a good pick-up line?
    Little Dreamer

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! Darkstar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smithjc View Post
    A scientist came up with this??? Sounds like something Al watched on the cinematic classic, Breast Monsters From Jupiter.

    That's crazy. I think the scientist must've been flyin high on something b/c it sure wasn't his smarts.

    I kinda think we're already split but don't tell him.
    Hey c'mon now......Breast Monsters From Jupiter was a good flick!!
    Love should NOT be work, it should be as easy as breathing Dave's Dreidel

    My god, our government has less secrets than Van Halen. Emperor Brett

    I'm a Democrat and an Atheist, but I've yet to receive my ticket to Hell. Is this something I call Live Nation about or what? JakeK21

    I feel it takes far more energy to hate than love. Well outside of Obamacare, How Many Say I and Heineken beer. ziggysmalls

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    Half the planet is from Mars, half from Venus anyways.. although I like the bigger penis' bit!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

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  12. #12
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Bullshit.

  13. #13
    Eruption
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    12.15.16 @ 02:14 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post


    Ziss ist vat vee hev been zaying all along. Vun day zee Mazter race vil rule ze planet!! Ziss Englisher ist a man avter mein own heart.
    That's exactly what I was instantly thinking! That's a Nazi way of thinking. And (who would have thought...) it's total bullshit!

  14. #14
    Hang 'Em High sickman's Avatar
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    This already happened. Pretty people and Ugly people.
    I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    This is really stupid.
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

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