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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    Have a soft spot for F*U*C*K
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    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
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    Office Etiquette!

    Dear Employees:

    It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues.

    Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated.

    We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues.

    Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases
    have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.


    1.
    Try Saying:
    I think you could
    do with more training
    Instead Of:
    You don't have a
    f***ing clue, do you?

    2.
    Try Saying:
    She's an aggressive go-getter.
    Instead Of:
    She's a f***ing power-crazy
    b*tch

    3.
    Try Saying:
    Perhaps I can work late
    Instead Of:
    And when the f*** do you expect
    me to do this?

    4.
    Try Saying:
    I'm certain that isn't feasible
    Instead Of:
    F*** off a*se-hole

    5.
    Try Saying:
    Really?
    Instead Of:
    Well f*** me backwards with
    a telegraph pole

    6.
    Try Saying:
    Perhaps you should check with...
    Instead Of:
    Tell someone who gives a f***.

    7.
    Try Saying:
    I wasn't involved in the project.
    Instead Of:
    Not my f***ing problem.

    8.
    Try Saying:
    That's interesting.
    Instead Of:
    What the f***?

    9.
    Try Saying:
    I'm not sure this can be implemented
    within the given timescale.
    Instead Of:
    No f***ing chance mate.

    10.
    Try Saying:
    It will be tight, but I'll
    try to schedule it in
    Instead Of:
    Why the f*** didn't you tell
    me that yesterday?

    11.
    Try Saying:
    He's not familiar with the
    issues
    Instead Of:
    He's got his head up his f***ing
    a*se.

    12.
    Try Saying:
    Excuse me, sir?
    Instead Of:
    Oi, f*** face.

    13.
    Try Saying:
    Of course, I was only going
    to be at home anyway
    Instead Of:
    Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays
    anyway.
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Pope Of Greenwich Village SuckaInA3Piece's Avatar
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    08.28.17 @ 03:27 PM
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    LOL Very helpful, Angie. Thank you.
    "It's always a Catch-22 situation. They hate you if you're the same, and they hate you if you're different."
    ~Eddie Van Halen~

    "The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, and then turns into a pizza."
    ~David Lee Roth~

    Sucka'sFacebook

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk
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    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
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    Default

    Someone been fucking following me around work today?!
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack. -- Gen. George S. Patton

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
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    I've always enjoyed using (no matter the circumstance): "A lack of planning on your part does not mean an emergency on my part."

    This usually goes over quite well.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  5. #5
    Romeo Delight
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    04.01.15 @ 11:03 AM
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    We should take a poll to see who has had the worst boss/manager.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Chicago
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    I've always enjoyed using (no matter the circumstance): "A lack of planning on your part does not mean an emergency on my part."
    That is one my favs, Chef!!!

    Thanks for sharing this, SEA. That made my day!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
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    Have a soft spot for F*U*C*K
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    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
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    Liked 30 Times in 11 Posts


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    Number 5 made me laugh so much I nearly fell off my chair!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    It's nice to know that office crap is the same regardless of what country we're stuck in.

    Thanks for the list! I'd love to post this in my office.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  9. #9
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
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    06.03.17 @ 06:59 PM
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    Default

    See, the problem I have with the "Try Saying's" list is that they're usually is more words involved and that takes more time. The "Instead Of's," which I'm more inclined to using, are more to the point and, therefore, more efficient. ...and last I knew, they wanted us to be more efficient at work.


    Thanks, SEA, I needed that today.
    2-time Fantasy Baseball Champion.

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing!
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    07.01.10 @ 06:21 AM
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    Thanks SEA. I got this E-mail from a collegue in Scotland. Must be making the rounds over there.

    My problem is that I work with a bunch of foul-mouthed ass-holes anyways. Its when they clean up their language that makes me nervous.

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 06:41 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    I've always enjoyed using (no matter the circumstance): "A lack of planning on your part does not mean an emergency on my part."

    This usually goes over quite well.
    Yep, around here it's the 7 P's:

    "Proper prior planning prevents piss-poor performance."
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

 

 

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