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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
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    Depraved Masturbator Breaks Into House, Builds Sex Toy Out Of Vacuum Cleaner

    One simply can not make this shit up ...

    SYDNEY (Reuters) - It was a stick up of a different kind for one Australian burglar, who broke into a neighbor's house and played sex games in the bathroom with a bottle of toilet detergent and a vacuum cleaner.

    A court in the northern city of Brisbane heard how 27 year old Jamie Lacey, high on drugs, broke into the house in September 2004, scattering pornographic magazines around the bathroom and making a sex toy from a bottle of detergent, a piece of wood and a rubber glove, the Brisbane Times reported.

    Lacey was arrested in December 2006 after police matched DNA his DNA to that on the rubber glove, according to the Australian Associated Press.

    A vacuum cleaner was also found in the bathroom, but the judge dismissed a defense submission that there was no proof the vacuum has been used for sexual purposes.

    "I'm sure that your client didn't hoover the carpets," the newspaper and AAP quoted judge Tony Rafter as saying.

    Lacey was sentenced to 12 months community service, with judge declining to send him to jail since he had held a steady job for two years and was now a father.


    http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070919/...HAegf_8cKs0NUE
    Last edited by chefcraig; 09.20.07 at 07:52 AM.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
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  2. #2
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    LMAO!!!!!!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    06.07.15 @ 10:30 AM
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    I think I can figure the rest of it out but I don't want to know what the piece of wood is for.

  4. #4
    Good Enough vhrocker's Avatar
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    01.21.15 @ 08:57 AM
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    ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!
    ALEX IS GOD!!!

    I've been doin' this for 'bout 20 years now, and I'll tell ya, to this day I still don't know the right drumstick from the left drumstick -Alex Van Halen


  5. #5
    Romeo Delight lil_redrocker5150's Avatar
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    12.02.12 @ 12:09 PM
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    and this guy is a father?? wow..... i'm speachless....
    waiting for inspiration to take place here....

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
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    LMAO.... brilliant! Damn... thats gotta be embarrassing after the fact!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

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  7. #7
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    I'd think it would be embarrassing enough *during* the act!
    http://www.vhlinks.com/vbforums/images/avatars/michael3.jpg

    "You are the McCarthy of this board. The witch burner." - strungout, on yours truly

    "Only Eddymon would claim victory during a FOUR game losing streak." - OLO

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  8. #8
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    Maybe I'm sharing too much, but I once taped a vase to a cake mixer.

  9. #9
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    And maybe you're not sharing enough, big guy.

    (Just kidding. DIF doesn't play that. Either with guys or inanimate objects... or both.)
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    "You are the McCarthy of this board. The witch burner." - strungout, on yours truly

    "Only Eddymon would claim victory during a FOUR game losing streak." - OLO

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    "If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire..."

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Wow. Desperation comes in many forms, shapes and sizes.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  11. #11
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    It wasn't desperation so much as one dead-sexy cake mixer.

  12. #12
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    You know, I think this thread's title is kind of offensive. What's with this "depraved" jive? Can't a guy get his jerk on with household items and not be ridiculed?

    Live and let masturbate with toilet detergent, I always say.
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    "You are the McCarthy of this board. The witch burner." - strungout, on yours truly

    "Only Eddymon would claim victory during a FOUR game losing streak." - OLO

    "Did I not say, 'I think we should shoot him!' I did. Double rainbow on this end. I require a high five. Out."- track 5, on the delicate art of banning

    "If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire..."

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Down In Flames View Post
    You know, I think this thread's title is kind of offensive. What's with this "depraved" jive? Can't a guy get his jerk on with household items and not be ridiculed?

    Live and let masturbate with toilet detergent, I always say.
    The "depravity" alludes to the drugged out state leading one to force his/her way into a house to perform the act, not the act itself. If the need for "jerkin' the gherkin" or "tickling the taco" is so overwhelming that one must resort to breaking and entering, let alone fashioning a product straight out of Popular Mechanics, well then McGuyver...
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  14. #14
    Imperial Fascist Overlord Down In Flames's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    The "depravity" alludes to the drugged out state leading one to force his/her way into a house to perform the act, not the act itself.
    So you're saying high-as-a-kite burglars who break into and masturbate in someone else's house are "depraved?"

    Well, apparently they're considered so in Australia... But certainly not in Florida!
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    "You are the McCarthy of this board. The witch burner." - strungout, on yours truly

    "Only Eddymon would claim victory during a FOUR game losing streak." - OLO

    "Did I not say, 'I think we should shoot him!' I did. Double rainbow on this end. I require a high five. Out."- track 5, on the delicate art of banning

    "If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire..."

  15. #15
    Top Of The World
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    Heard this story on Bob and Tom this morning. That's some messed up stuff! Wouldn't jerking your chain be better left at home?

 

 

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