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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    Anger Management

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
    on someone you don't know.


    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
    make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.'


    I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'


    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing
    number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.


    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
    Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
    transposed the last two digits.


    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.


    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' and
    hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and
    put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
    or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'
    It always cheered me up.


    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
    calling would have to stop.


    So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
    telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
    ID Program?'


    He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
    and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!' and hung up.


    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.


    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
    patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
    for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in
    his back window, so I wrote down his number.


    A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
    number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.


    I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?' He said, 'Yes, it
    is.' I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' He said, 'Yes, I
    live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the
    car's parked right out in front.'


    I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'


    I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?' He said, 'I'm home
    every evening after five.'


    I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?' He said, 'Yes?'


    I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'


    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
    had a problem, I had two assholes to call.


    Then I came up with an idea.


    I called Asshole #1. He said, 'Hello.' I said, 'You're an asshole!'
    (But I didn't hang up.)


    He asked, 'Are you still there?'
    I said, 'Yeah.'
    He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
    I said, 'Make me.'
    He asked, 'Who are you?'


    I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
    He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
    I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow
    rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'


    He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers.'


    I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.


    Then I called Asshole ..2.
    He said, 'Hello?'
    I said, 'Hello, asshole.'
    He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
    I said, 'You'll what?'
    He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'


    I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
    now.'


    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
    at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to
    kill my gay lover.


    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
    Blvd. in Fairfax ..


    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just
    in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
    front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
    news crew.


    NOW I feel much better.


    Anger management works
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing!
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    07.01.10 @ 06:21 AM
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    Default

    Nice.

  3. #3
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    12.17.17 @ 10:54 AM
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    Default

    LMAO very funny.
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    Donor

    Default

    LMAO!!!!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  5. #5
    Eruption
    Join Date
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    04.28.16 @ 08:41 PM
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    Default

    ROFL...oh dear god I think I need to buy a new keyboard, that was great man!

  6. #6
    Eruption
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    09.23.13 @ 06:29 PM
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    Default

    LOL

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
    Join Date
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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by VanHalen2079 View Post
    ROFL...oh dear god I think I need to buy a new keyboard, that was great man!
    Uh oh, guess I have been M.I.A. too long. People are forgetting I'm female.
    Last edited by racefan8; 09.14.07 at 02:29 PM.
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  8. #8
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
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    12.17.17 @ 10:54 AM
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    Liked 84 Times in 35 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by racefan8 View Post


    Uh oh, guess I have been M.I.A. too long. People are forgetting I'm female.

    I didnt forget, want to have phone sex?
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.27.05
    Age
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    Location
    To Hell and back ~ 26.2 miles
    Posts
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    Favorite VH Album

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    Favorite VH Song

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    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OLO View Post
    I didnt forget, want to have phone sex?
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium Duke's Avatar
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    Ditto
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    07.10.17 @ 08:25 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OLO View Post
    I didnt forget, want to have phone sex?
    Asshole.

    Now,

    Hey Baby
    Wanna go for a ride in my BMW??
    I'll come right over.


    Actually, it's a shit colored Nissan, and i'm way across town, er, continent.
    Phone sex it is.

    Nice to see you back around.
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  11. #11
    Good Enough Thai Boxer 9901's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Song

    Dont have one
    Last Online

    08.28.16 @ 11:47 PM
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    Liked 18 Times in 11 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by racefan8 View Post
    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
    it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out
    on someone you don't know.


    I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
    make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying 'Hello.'


    I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'


    Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear 'Get the right f***ing
    number!' and the phone was slammed down on me.


    I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down
    Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally
    transposed the last two digits.


    After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.


    When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled 'You're an asshole!' and
    hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and
    put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills
    or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, 'You're an asshole!'
    It always cheered me up.


    When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
    calling would have to stop.


    So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
    telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller
    ID Program?'


    He yelled 'NO!' and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
    and said, 'That's because you're an asshole!' and hung up.


    One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.


    Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
    patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
    for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a 'For Sale ' sign in
    his back window, so I wrote down his number.


    A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
    number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.


    I said, 'Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?' He said, 'Yes, it
    is.' I asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?' He said, 'Yes, I
    live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow rambler, and the
    car's parked right out in front.'


    I asked, 'What's your name?' He said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'


    I asked, 'When's a good time to catch you, Don?' He said, 'I'm home
    every evening after five.'


    I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?' He said, 'Yes?'


    I said, 'Don, you're an asshole!'


    Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
    had a problem, I had two assholes to call.


    Then I came up with an idea.


    I called Asshole #1. He said, 'Hello.' I said, 'You're an asshole!'
    (But I didn't hang up.)


    He asked, 'Are you still there?'
    I said, 'Yeah.'
    He screamed, 'Stop calling me!'
    I said, 'Make me.'
    He asked, 'Who are you?'


    I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
    He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?'
    I said, 'Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow
    rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front.'


    He said, 'I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
    saying your prayers.'


    I said, 'Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole,' and hung up.


    Then I called Asshole ..2.
    He said, 'Hello?'
    I said, 'Hello, asshole.'
    He yelled, 'If I ever find out who you are...'
    I said, 'You'll what?'
    He exclaimed, 'I'll kick your ass,'


    I answered, 'Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
    now.'


    Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived
    at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to
    kill my gay lover.


    Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree
    Blvd. in Fairfax ..


    I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax . I got there just
    in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in
    front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a
    news crew.


    NOW I feel much better.


    Anger management works
    GENIOUS!
    Facebook http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=504401115
    YouTube http://www.youtube.com/user/jedimasterkyle

    BOISE STATE BRONCOS! - They're awesome. Deal with it!

    11/16/04 - VAN HALEN in Boise, Idaho. Changed my life forever

    8/8/06 - Sammy Hagar and the Wabos w/Michael Anthony in Boise, Idaho. Sam and Mike still kick ass

 

 

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