Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 28
  1. #1
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.13.03
    Location
    Right here.
    Posts
    4,121
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Drop Dead Legs
    Last Online

    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
    Likes
    31
    Liked 17 Times in 10 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default 22 Ways to be a good Democrat

    I just got this in an email and thought it was pretty funny.

    .................................................. .......................................


    22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

    Hey All....Someone asked me recently about why I am not a
    Democrat. This pretty much sums it up!

    Here are 22 ways to be a great Democrat.

    1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

    2. You have to believe that businesses create depressions and governments create prosperity.

    3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans
    are more of a threat than Nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Iranians and North Korean communists.

    4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

    5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

    6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being h omosexual is natural.

    7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

    8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach fourth graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

    9. You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony
    activists who have never been outside of San Francisco or Portland do.

    10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually
    doing something to earn it.

    11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make "The Passion of the Christ" for financial gain only.

    12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts
    of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

    13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

    14. You have to believe that M argaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more
    important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Edison, and A.G. Bell.

    15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

    16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

    17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked
    anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

    18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

    19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying transvestites
    in drag and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

    20. You have to believe that illegal Democrat Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

    21. You have to b elieve that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

    22. You have to believe that it's Okay to give Federal workers the day off on Christmas Day, but it's not Okay to say "Merry Christmas."


    .................................................. ................................................

    I'm sure there is one just as funny about Republicans too.......well, maybe.
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
    Quint- Boat Captain
    --------------------------------------------------


    "As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly"
    Arthur Carlson- Radio Station GM
    --------------------------------------------------


    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
    Clark W. Griswold- Food Additive Designer
    ---------------------------------------------------


    VIVA TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND!
    Round I = Done!
    Round II = Done!
    Round III = Done!
    Round IV = Done!
    Round V = Done!
    Round VI = Done!
    Round VII = Done!
    Round VIII = Done!

  2. #2
    Eruption wingnut's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.29.06
    Posts
    927
    Last Online

    01.01.08 @ 10:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    LOL. Right on the money there.

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk Bob_R's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.18.01
    Posts
    7,207
    Last Online

    12.13.11 @ 02:09 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default


  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.07
    Location
    698 Sycamore Road, San Pueblo, CA
    Posts
    2,789
    Favorite VH Album

    Sound Magazine
    Favorite VH Song

    I Think I Love You
    Last Online

    06.07.15 @ 10:30 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default

    Hey! How did this guy get ahold of our secret party manifesto?
    As soon as I finish this Brie, I'm going to write a strongly-worded letter to my Congressperson.
    On recycled paper, of course.

    With soy-based ink.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.13.04
    Location
    Avengers Tower
    Posts
    10,149
    Favorite VH Album

    Chickenfoot III
    Favorite VH Song

    Different Devil
    Last Online

    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 340 Times in 184 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    That was great.
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, “Tokyo Dome In Concert,” is available for purchase, and it’s super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  6. #6
    Eruption wingnut's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.29.06
    Posts
    927
    Last Online

    01.01.08 @ 10:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_R View Post
    LOL. That's about the only thing Democrats can do or are good at. Photoshopping pics of Bush. That might explain why Bush's approval rating is double that of the Democratic led Congress.

  7. #7
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.07
    Location
    698 Sycamore Road, San Pueblo, CA
    Posts
    2,789
    Favorite VH Album

    Sound Magazine
    Favorite VH Song

    I Think I Love You
    Last Online

    06.07.15 @ 10:30 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 2 Times in 1 Post

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wingnut View Post
    LOL. That's about the only thing Democrats can do or are good at. Photoshopping pics of Bush. That might explain why Bush's approval rating is double that of the Democratic led Congress.

    I think when defending the President, you shouldn't use the words approval rating too much.

  8. #8
    Eruption wingnut's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.29.06
    Posts
    927
    Last Online

    01.01.08 @ 10:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bullwinkle View Post
    I think when defending the President, you shouldn't use the words approval rating too much.
    LOL, It qualifies how bad the Democrats are. Sheesh you people really need to think before posting. You think I don't know Bush is at 36%? Seriously. Get over yourself. Bush 36%. He sucks. Dem led Congress 18%. Sucks even more.

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.26.00
    Age
    51
    Location
    The Mighty Pacific Northwest
    Posts
    7,807
    Favorite VH Album

    All 6 of em!!
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

    Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

    Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

    The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

    A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

    Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

    The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

    If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

    A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

    Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

    HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at heart.

    Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

    A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.

    A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

    Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

    The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

    Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative talk radio host. Then it's an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.

    You support states' rights, which means the Attorney General can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

    What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

    Feel free to pass this on.

    Friends don't let friends vote Republican.
    Eat Us And Smile

    Welcome back, Van HALEN!!!!

    ...It's the BAND and Dave is really the cat that can front VH. He sang his ASS off and was really cool. No cheese here guys, this is filet Mignon! - Steve Lukather's comment after witnessing a Van HALEN 2007 rehearsal

    "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears?"- 1 Samuel 15:14

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.03.04
    Age
    46
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    7,640
    Last Online

    06.03.17 @ 06:59 PM
    Likes
    1,188
    Liked 327 Times in 204 Posts

    Default

    This is a good thread for the Independents. Not belonging to a party allows me to appreciate both lists.
    2-time Fantasy Baseball Champion.

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Dave's Dreidel's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.10.05
    Age
    47
    Location
    Kate Upton's Closet
    Posts
    37,913
    Favorite VH Album

    Alex, Dave, Ed and Mike
    Favorite VH Song

    The songs with Ed on them
    Last Online

    12.15.17 @ 06:34 AM
    Likes
    3,510
    Liked 18,151 Times in 8,969 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy812 View Post
    This is a good thread for the Independents. Not belonging to a party allows me to appreciate both lists.
    Agreed. I think they are all either idiots or crooks. Or both.

    Every time I vote the thing that shocks me most is that out of an educated country of 300 million people these are the best yahoos that we can come up with to run our country. Sad.

  12. #12
    Unchained mojavebassman's Avatar
    Join Date
    11.13.03
    Age
    44
    Location
    Springfield IL
    Posts
    499
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    07.28.13 @ 01:39 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dave's Dreidel View Post
    Agreed. I think they are all either idiots or crooks. Or both.

    Every time I vote the thing that shocks me most is that out of an educated country of 300 million people these are the best yahoos that we can come up with to run our country. Sad.
    That's because all who run in the primaries are cut from the same mold - the old money mold. It costs too much to run a campaign. The average person can't afford to run.

  13. #13
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.13.03
    Location
    Right here.
    Posts
    4,121
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Drop Dead Legs
    Last Online

    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
    Likes
    31
    Liked 17 Times in 10 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mojavebassman View Post
    That's because all who run in the primaries are cut from the same mold - the old money mold. It costs too much to run a campaign. The average person can't afford to run.
    A professor I once had always said that 'the people truely intelligent enough to lead the U.S. are usually too smart to get into politics.'

    I tend to agree with that statement.
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
    Quint- Boat Captain
    --------------------------------------------------


    "As God as my witness...I thought turkeys could fly"
    Arthur Carlson- Radio Station GM
    --------------------------------------------------


    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
    Clark W. Griswold- Food Additive Designer
    ---------------------------------------------------


    VIVA TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND!
    Round I = Done!
    Round II = Done!
    Round III = Done!
    Round IV = Done!
    Round V = Done!
    Round VI = Done!
    Round VII = Done!
    Round VIII = Done!

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.21.03
    Age
    52
    Location
    Mound Valley, Kansas
    Posts
    9,045
    Favorite VH Album

    5150, Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance The Night Away, Dreams
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 03:26 PM
    Likes
    39
    Liked 31 Times in 10 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Filthy 150 View Post
    A professor I once had always said that 'the people truely intelligent enough to lead the U.S. are usually too smart to get into politics.'

    I tend to agree with that statement.
    I laughed at both lists, but I laughed more at the Republican one.

    I've always gotten a kick out of this one. It gets kicked around at election time. Most of the names change, but one thing always remains the same.

    Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008:

    7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
    7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
    7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
    8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.
    8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding-- Barney Frank Presiding.
    8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan-- Susan Sarandon.
    9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender-- French President Jacques Chirac
    9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
    9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay . Sean Penn
    9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton
    9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore
    9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    10:00 P.M. How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers-- Howard Dean
    10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
    11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet
    11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals-- John Kerry
    11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton
    12:00 AM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  15. #15
    Good Enough vhrocker's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.18.06
    Age
    46
    Location
    "Mean Street", Oklahoma
    Posts
    2,197
    Favorite VH Album

    The one I'm listenin' to.
    Favorite VH Song

    Can't pick just one
    Last Online

    01.21.15 @ 08:57 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 15 Times in 15 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Viking View Post
    I laughed at both lists, but I laughed more at the Republican one.

    I've always gotten a kick out of this one. It gets kicked around at election time. Most of the names change, but one thing always remains the same.

    Agenda for the Democratic National Convention for 2008:

    7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
    7:15 P.M. Pledge of allegiance to U.N.
    7:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    7:30 till 8:00 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton.
    8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    8:05 P.M. Ceremonial tree hugging.
    8:15- 8:30 P.M. Gay Wedding-- Barney Frank Presiding.
    8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally. Cindy Sheehan-- Susan Sarandon.
    9:00 P.M. Keynote speech. The proper etiquette for surrender-- French President Jacques Chirac
    9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
    9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund
    9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from Guantanamo Bay . Sean Penn
    9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military, A short talk by William Jefferson Clinton
    9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    9:50 P.M. Dan Rather presented Truth in Broadcasting award, presented by Michael Moore
    9:55 P.M., Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    10:00 P.M. How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld brought down the World Trade Center Towers-- Howard Dean
    10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
    11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents Internet
    11:15 P.M. Our Troops are War criminals-- John Kerry
    11:30 P.M. Coronation Of Mrs. Rodham Clinton
    12:00 AM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
    12:05 A.M. Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home
    ALEX IS GOD!!!

    I've been doin' this for 'bout 20 years now, and I'll tell ya, to this day I still don't know the right drumstick from the left drumstick -Alex Van Halen


 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Republicans Take Credit For Democrat Economic Growth
    By Hot Sauce in forum Political Underground
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 01.19.15, 07:24 AM
  2. How did I become a Democrat?
    By againstthewind in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 26
    Last Post: 11.13.05, 07:22 PM
  3. To be a Democrat, you have to ...
    By seenbad in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 305
    Last Post: 06.10.05, 06:12 PM
  4. The Washington Post: Democrat Implies Sept. 11 Administration Plot
    By DLR'sCock in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04.12.02, 10:27 PM
  5. Are you a Republican or a Democrat?
    By Josh in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 39
    Last Post: 09.11.00, 12:18 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •