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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    Default What's the Best Way to Dispose of a Dead Body?

    Well?

    Quickly, please. I'm in a bit of a time crunch here.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    What can BROWN do for you?
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  3. #3
    Eruption arcticwolf64's Avatar
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    The first thing you need to do is switch your car insurance over to Geico!
    All you need in this life is a tremendous sex drive and a great ego , brain's don't mean a shit! ~ Captain Tony Tarracino

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  4. #4
    Watch the hair!!!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bullwinkle View Post
    Well?

    Quickly, please. I'm in a bit of a time crunch here.
    Well, do you have access to a wood chipper?!?

    "Seems the old folks who come up short were the pretty little kids who didn't want it, no." - Van Halen (1979)

    "Our greatest glory is not in never falling but in rising every time we fall." - Confucius

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  5. #5
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Delighted Romeo View Post
    Well, do you have access to a wood chipper?!?

    That made the whole film worth watching right there, you betcha!

    Got a congressman's doorstep nearby you can drop it off on?

  6. #6
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bullwinkle View Post
    Well?

    Quickly, please. I'm in a bit of a time crunch here.
    You need a bag of lime. (not limes....no time for tropical drinks)
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    I'm assuming there is blood spilled, and time is of the essence. To contain this, do the following:

    Carefully cut and spread out 6 large plastic garbage bags next to the body. Roll the body onto the sheets, wrapping the body as you go along, "burrito fashion". Secure with duct tape. Using a bed sheet, again wrap the body, and again secure with duct tape.

    Doing the above will greatly ease removing the body from the scene. Next, clean-up. No manner of cleanser will completely remove blood stains, so don't even try. Using household cleaning products, scour all areas were blood may have spilled, right any toppled furniture and discard anything damaged. Replace any shattered mirrors with pictures from another room.

    Which landfill or canal you use is of your own choosing, yet remember after several hours the body's own gases will render it inert, and it will float to the surface if not securely tethered or weighted down with commensurate ballast.

    PM me for detailed instruction as to rendering the body unrecognisable for purposes of identification.

    I'd wish you luck, yet luck has nothing to do with it...remember, think your actions through, as haste makes waste.

    Let us know how things turn out!
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  8. #8
    Baluchitherium Guitar Shark's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    I'm assuming there is blood spilled, and time is of the essence. To contain this, do the following:

    Carefully cut and spread out 6 large plastic garbage bags next to the body. Roll the body onto the sheets, wrapping the body as you go along, "burrito fashion". Secure with duct tape. Using a bed sheet, again wrap the body, and again secure with duct tape.

    Doing the above will greatly ease removing the body from the scene. Next, clean-up. No manner of cleanser will completely remove blood stains, so don't even try. Using household cleaning products, scour all areas were blood may have spilled, right any toppled furniture and discard anything damaged. Replace any shattered mirrors with pictures from another room.

    Which landfill or canal you use is of your own choosing, yet remember after several hours the body's own gases will render it inert, and it will float to the surface if not securely tethered or weighted down with commensurate ballast.

    PM me for detailed instruction as to rendering the body unrecognisable for purposes of identification.

    I'd wish you luck, yet luck has nothing to do with it...remember, think your actions through, as haste makes waste.

    Let us know how things turn out!
    LMFAO

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk hain23x's Avatar
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    Eat Us and Smile!

  10. #10
    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
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    Winston Wolfe: "If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you two guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So, pretty please, with sugar on top.....clean the f#&kin' car!!!"

  11. #11
    Eruption arcticwolf64's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    I'm assuming there is blood spilled, and time is of the essence. To contain this, do the following:

    Carefully cut and spread out 6 large plastic garbage bags next to the body. Roll the body onto the sheets, wrapping the body as you go along, "burrito fashion". Secure with duct tape. Using a bed sheet, again wrap the body, and again secure with duct tape.

    Doing the above will greatly ease removing the body from the scene. Next, clean-up. No manner of cleanser will completely remove blood stains, so don't even try. Using household cleaning products, scour all areas were blood may have spilled, right any toppled furniture and discard anything damaged. Replace any shattered mirrors with pictures from another room.

    Which landfill or canal you use is of your own choosing, yet remember after several hours the body's own gases will render it inert, and it will float to the surface if not securely tethered or weighted down with commensurate ballast.

    PM me for detailed instruction as to rendering the body unrecognisable for purposes of identification.

    I'd wish you luck, yet luck has nothing to do with it...remember, think your actions through, as haste makes waste.

    Let us know how things turn out!

    I am now officially concerned with this thread!
    All you need in this life is a tremendous sex drive and a great ego , brain's don't mean a shit! ~ Captain Tony Tarracino

    I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. ~ Hunter S. Thompson

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  12. #12
    Good Enough vhrocker's Avatar
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    01.21.15 @ 08:57 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Red View Post
    Winston Wolfe: "If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you two guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So, pretty please, with sugar on top.....clean the f#&kin' car!!!"
    ALEX IS GOD!!!

    I've been doin' this for 'bout 20 years now, and I'll tell ya, to this day I still don't know the right drumstick from the left drumstick -Alex Van Halen


  13. #13
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by arcticwolf64 View Post
    I am now officially concerned with this thread!
    No reason to be.....he's fuckin right!













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  14. #14
    Hang 'Em High Hurricane Halen's Avatar
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    Take it down to Uncle Tom's cabin and throw him down into the wishing well........

    Hey, that outta be a song


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  15. #15
    Forum Frontman
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    Bury the rug at least four feet down.

 

 

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