Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 29
  1. #1
    Baluchitherium KT's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.26.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    5,148
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being,5150,WhenIt'sLove
    Last Online

    08.08.17 @ 07:44 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 18 Times in 2 Posts


    Donor

    for all the ladies...

    received this from a friend of mine and had to share. enjoy...

    A letter to Proctor and Gamble:

    Check this out- you'll crack up


    Dear Mr. Thatcher,

    I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi-pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

    Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing? As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen
    quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

    Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words:
    "Have a Happy Period."

    Are you fucking kidding me?!

    What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness - is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

    Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi- pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

    Best,


    Wendi Aarons
    Austin , TX
    Meet me in Cabo!

  2. #2
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    That is hysterical! It's also true! LOL!!


    "Have a happy period"? LMAO!!! There's been many times I've felt like ripping out my uterus too!!



    Thanks for posting!
    Last edited by Kimmie5150; 08.19.07 at 08:18 PM.

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.26.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    5,186
    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    judgement day/ me wise magic
    Last Online

    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
    Likes
    1
    Liked 15 Times in 11 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post

    There's been many times I've felt like ripping out my uterus too!!
    just when i was about to make myself a sandwich.
    """"\//-/""""


    The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!


    www.myspace.com/mikesisca

    "If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday an actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even." T.RYAN, sharing thoughts on valentine's day.

    " SHUT UP, FAGGOT." - Vinnie Velvet, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    DIRTY SANCHEZ- It's not just for breakfast anymore!



    “ Originally posted by FORD
    History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
    (See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) ” FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  4. #4
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sisca View Post
    just when i was about to make myself a sandwich.

    Lol....Hate that for ya!




    All I can say is after reading some of the male posts, paybacks are hell!!

  5. #5
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.04
    Location
    Burlington, On, Canada, Earth
    Posts
    6,142
    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K. 1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Feels So Good (deal with it...
    Last Online

    12.13.17 @ 09:21 AM
    Likes
    582
    Liked 426 Times in 228 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    My son has been asking for some form of a pet. I told him I would get him something quiet that comes with wings. So I got him a box of panty liners.
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

  6. #6
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jetguy5150 View Post
    My son has been asking for some form of a pet. I told him I would get him something quiet that comes with wings. So I got him a box of panty liners.
    Lol.....He could also cut some holes in one and use it for a mask when he pretends to be a superhero!!

  7. #7
    Good Enough wham bam will rock's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.30.02
    Location
    Hell and beyond
    Posts
    2,261
    Favorite VH Album

    Bark Like A Dog
    Favorite VH Song

    Act Like It Hurts
    Last Online

    06.26.17 @ 04:51 PM
    Likes
    1,264
    Liked 643 Times in 328 Posts

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    All I can say is after reading some of the male posts, paybacks are hell!!

    U love us and NEED us!
    "Never is just reven spelled backwards." -House

    "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" -THE Rob Gordon

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.30.04
    Location
    A Brit in Texas
    Posts
    9,106
    Favorite VH Album

    Have a soft spot for F*U*C*K
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained/Mine All Mine
    Last Online

    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
    Likes
    82
    Liked 30 Times in 11 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Yep.. I think that just about covers it! Awesome Kris.. had me nodding and chuckling at the same time!
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by wham bam will rock View Post
    U love us and NEED us!

    No, U love me and NEED me.

  10. #10
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by stilleddiesangel View Post
    "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Yep.. I think that just about covers it! Awesome Kris.. had me nodding and chuckling at the same time!
    LOL! Yep! I'm a FANTASTIC person with great skills!

  11. #11
    Eruption
    Join Date
    09.28.05
    Posts
    1,268
    Last Online

    09.23.13 @ 06:29 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    "Hi. You've never heard a man talk about Maxi Pads before, well, I wanted to be the first...."
    I said that one time in drama class when the teacher asked us to do an improve tv commercial. Got a pretty good chuckle out of it, even from some of the girls.
    So, anyway. Carry on. Have a happy period.

  12. #12
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by stilleddiesangel View Post
    "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Yep.. I think that just about covers it! Awesome Kris.. had me nodding and chuckling at the same time!
    Good to see you have a sense of humor and you're not stereotyping southerners. Someone that does stereotype other people are either ignorant, or unrealistic. Such as saying British people have horrible teeth and smoke alot. People should be smart enough to know that stereotypes are not real.

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! Sunya's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.09.01
    Location
    Winter Haven, FL
    Posts
    3,053
    Favorite VH Album

    Balance
    Favorite VH Song

    Girl Gone Bad
    Last Online

    02.10.10 @ 10:42 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    LMAO! That was great kt.

    Maybe Mr. Thatcher should put instuctions for these lovely little gift items on the packages since Christmas is just around the corner.

    "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
    --Mark Twain


    There's no one as smart as a gambler at the track putting thier last $10.00 on the longest shot of the day.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.30.04
    Location
    A Brit in Texas
    Posts
    9,106
    Favorite VH Album

    Have a soft spot for F*U*C*K
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained/Mine All Mine
    Last Online

    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
    Likes
    82
    Liked 30 Times in 11 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    Good to see you have a sense of humor and you're not stereotyping southerners. Someone that does stereotype other people are either ignorant, or unrealistic. Such as saying British people have horrible teeth and smoke alot. People should be smart enough to know that stereotypes are not real.

    My oh my.. someone has her dander up! Since some of my best friends are US "southerners" I dont think this quite applies. No.. I was not stereotyping anyone, I was enjoying the humour of the whole piece and the bit with the knife I felt applied to me, not the hillbilly bit. Although, those who know me also know it works the other way around over here.. the northerners, ie.. me, are deemed to be the "hillbillies" of the UK. Some people should be smart enough to figure that out. Some people should be smart enough to lighten up. If you wanted to take issue with that statement, call the person who first wrote it to the company in that letter.
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  15. #15
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    01.03.02
    Posts
    2,395
    Last Online

    12.19.16 @ 05:15 PM
    Likes
    6
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    Good to see you have a sense of humor and you're not stereotyping southerners. Someone that does stereotype other people are either ignorant, or unrealistic. Such as saying British people have horrible teeth and smoke alot. People should be smart enough to know that stereotypes are not real.
    When did 'hillbilly' come to mean 'southerner'? Hillbillies are everywhere and you really don't have to look too far to find them.

    BTW, everybody knows British people have horrible teeth. It's that whole inbreeding thing.

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. One for the ladies..
    By SuckaInA3Piece in forum Van Halen On The Tube
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 07.18.07, 09:01 PM
  2. Ladies, a question...
    By perticelli in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 41
    Last Post: 08.02.06, 05:28 PM
  3. LADIES: What's Your Stripper Name?
    By vh_chick in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 05.13.06, 08:28 AM
  4. For all the depressed ladies out there...
    By voivod in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 05.08.06, 08:14 AM
  5. A pic that the ladies might like...
    By muffdiver in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 04.24.06, 06:37 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •