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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    06.23.17 @ 09:49 PM
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    Default just had my heart torn out.....

    now that ive pretty much got all the crying done , thought id share a little something. my girlfriend of the past three years earlier tonight told me she never really loved me but i was just a fun thing.

    we ve been in a semi long distance relationship(about 2 hours away) for a year and i asked her if she could wait a year until we could move in together. (living together was her idea mind you.) tonight she called me and said she didnt want to wait and she needed someone who would always be there. i finally said well weve been bf/gf for 3 years now, i love you im willing to stick it out , dont you love me ? she said "ive never loved you."

    when i asked did you love the ex bf who treated you like shit and never paid attention to you and put you down? she said yeah , i loved him.

    when i first dated this girl she couldnt even look me in the eye when i told her how pretty she was , i drew pictures of her , i wrote songs for her , i would insist she buy herself pretty clothes because they looked good on her and she deserved it , i had oppurtunities to cheat on this girl and i didnt.

    when her hair looked like shit i said it looked good , when she put on weight and started getting a belly i said i dont see anything. when she did something irratating i could of yelled at her but i spoke.

    when i told her i couldnt believe she said that and id never trust another woman again and to never talk to me again , she just came off like i was being rude for not wishing her well. at that point i smashed the phone and trashed my backyard. end of story.

    why didnt i see this coming ? i had a feeling but just couldnt se her saying that.

    i seriously feel my heart sinking , i feel like such an fucking loser idiot for doing and saying the things i did. i feel like ive been punched in the stomach and like im a worthless shit.

    any words of wisdom , encouragement ?
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  2. #2
    Atomic Punk fast98dodge's Avatar
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    08.07.17 @ 08:14 PM
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    Default

    It's not your fault or anything you have done or not done...

    From what you have said, it sounds like she doesn't deserve you...
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  3. #3
    Atomic Punk MikeL's Avatar
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    03.03.15 @ 08:31 PM
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    You did all the right things. Maybe that doesn't mean much right now, but it sure doesn't mean you're a chump. You can be proud of yourself. There's a lot to be said for that.

  4. #4
    Emperor of VHLinks.com Brett's Avatar
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    12.10.17 @ 05:42 PM
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    Default

    Two words....

    Fuck her.

    There are plenty of fish in the sea Rick, I know no one likes to hear that right away but it's true. I dated a chick like that for over 2 years, and when we finally broke up, it was like she didn't even care. Apparently now she's been married and divorced twice in 8 years and weighs about 250. I thank my lucky stars everyday, so will you. Hang in there man.
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  5. #5
    Atomic Punk lovemachine97(Version 2)'s Avatar
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    12.09.17 @ 11:21 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rick S View Post
    now that ive pretty much got all the crying done , thought id share a little something. my girlfriend of the past three years earlier tonight told me she never really loved me but i was just a fun thing.

    we ve been in a semi long distance relationship(about 2 hours away) for a year and i asked her if she could wait a year until we could move in together. (living together was her idea mind you.) tonight she called me and said she didnt want to wait and she needed someone who would always be there. i finally said well weve been bf/gf for 3 years now, i love you im willing to stick it out , dont you love me ? she said "ive never loved you."

    when i asked did you love the ex bf who treated you like shit and never paid attention to you and put you down? she said yeah , i loved him.

    when i first dated this girl she couldnt even look me in the eye when i told her how pretty she was , i drew pictures of her , i wrote songs for her , i would insist she buy herself pretty clothes because they looked good on her and she deserved it , i had oppurtunities to cheat on this girl and i didnt.

    when her hair looked like shit i said it looked good , when she put on weight and started getting a belly i said i dont see anything. when she did something irratating i could of yelled at her but i spoke.

    when i told her i couldnt believe she said that and id never trust another woman again and to never talk to me again , she just came off like i was being rude for not wishing her well. at that point i smashed the phone and trashed my backyard. end of story.

    why didnt i see this coming ? i had a feeling but just couldnt se her saying that.

    i seriously feel my heart sinking , i feel like such an fucking loser idiot for doing and saying the things i did. i feel like ive been punched in the stomach and like im a worthless shit.

    any words of wisdom , encouragement ?
    People say petty shit when they are trying to deflect the blame from themselves in these situations.

    There are stages to grieving, and you'll go through all of them. You'll be fine. And eventually, you'll forget about her.

    But if this didn't take time, you'd know that you never cared in the first place. One thing I know about hard times, is that it's about how you come out of them, not how you go in. So when you can, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and go be happy.

    And don't hate her. Just don't CARE. The opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. So as time goes on, the anger should dissipate, and turn to forgetting her.

    Finally, keep in mind that every relationship will end until the very last one. And THAT person will be the right person. And none of this will ever happen again.

    Sorry man, I have been there...

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing!
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    03.02.10 @ 03:28 PM
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    Default

    I know it won't help you to know, now, that most of us have been through similar situations. But don't destroy yourself or your possessions over it. Things happen for a reason.

    When I see my ex now married with children I thank my lucky stars that I was dumped when I was.

    Be thankful you got out before things got more involved.
    Mr. Horseradish courtesy of the International Horseradish Council and Brett.

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
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    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
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    post deleted. for what its worth, however, im sorry for what youre going thru bro. i know how you feel.
    Last edited by sisca; 08.03.07 at 12:42 AM.
    """"\//-/""""


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    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  8. #8
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    Default

    This will sound very strange but it seems she has some self hate issues. Never bash yourself for being a good person and treating someone with respect, the same way you wish to be treated. One day, a special person will comes along who will reciprocate all those wonderful things you do. In the meantime, this girl seems like she likes the abuse. Nothing you can do but to go out and get your mind off of it. The right person will come along when you least expect it.

  9. #9
    Eruption
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    09.16.17 @ 05:43 PM
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    Default

    Don't worry, man. There's 6,602,224,174 other people out there, about half of which are females.

  10. #10
    Banned!
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    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by loveevhsince79 View Post
    This will sound very strange but it seems she has some self hate issues. Never bash yourself for being a good person and treating someone with respect, the same way you wish to be treated. One day, a special person will comes along who will reciprocate all those wonderful things you do. In the meantime, this girl seems like she likes the abuse. Nothing you can do but to go out and get your mind off of it. The right person will come along when you least expect it.


    Exactly! I experienced the kind of abuse that she apparantly likes. I just can't understand why she would ever want to go back to a relationship like that again. She probably doesn't love or respect herself enough to think that she deserves someone like you. Maybe one day she'll wake up and realize that she does and that she's worth it. If she doesn't, she's nuts. I'd rather live my life alone than to ever go back to that kind of man. The only thing that will heal your heart is time. The right one that will appreciate you and love you the way you deserve to be loved is out there somewhere.

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    11.02.17 @ 09:45 PM
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    Default

    Hang in there, Rick.

    Reading this gives me a little sense of Deja Vu.

    I had a girl do some crazy shit to me several years ago. On again, off again kind of shit for about 7-8 months, most of the off again shit due to her so called 'Ex' boyfriend/sperm donor for her little girl.

    It seemed like she had finally done away with him, and things were going well, and then she started acting a little weird, so I asked her "What's going on?", to which she replied "I'm pregnant." Well it wasn't mine, I was 100% sure of that, so I told her "Fuck you!"

    Flash forward about a year, and we had been talking again, and once again I had convinced myself that she was finally rid of this jobless, dope smoking, stealing, abusive piece of shit. We went out a few times, things were going well and then she did it again! She wasn't pregnant this time, but once again she dumped me for this fucker! Fucking El Stupido me!

    She still works at Amazon.com, and every now and then I hear her on the phone arguing with this asshole, and I have to hide my joy that she's still with this asshole 3 years later.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  12. #12
    Eruption Stiil_A_Fan's Avatar
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    11.26.14 @ 12:50 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rick S View Post
    now that ive pretty much got all the crying done , thought id share a little something. my girlfriend of the past three years earlier tonight told me she never really loved me but i was just a fun thing.
    Man you got off light, at lest you where not married, and she did not get half or all of your stuff.

    QUOTE]any words of wisdom , encouragement ?[/QUOTE]

    Clean up, put on some good music, the kind that put a smile on your face. Have a couple drinks go to a hopping club get there about 2 to 3 hour before closing time, the women will all ready be drunk. If you keep a smile on your face you won’t even have to buy a drink.

    Women like her want to be treated like the X bf did her, don’t look back, and don't fall in love again.

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
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    06.03.17 @ 06:59 PM
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    Default

    Yeah, I think most of us, if not all, can relate to some shit like this. I feel for ya, bro. It sucks right now and it will for a little while. But the pain you're currently feeling won't last forever. Trust me.
    I'll never understand why some women are attracted to guys that treat them like crap, and let the nice ones get away. I guess maybe they feel a challenge to change the mean ones. That and some low self-esteem issues.
    Maybe you could channel some of that pain into some new songs. You could write the next Fair Warning!!

    I remember when this happened to me, I started working out, I started eating better (when my appetite returned), and I started meeting a lot of new people. I went on a tear! Yes, I still thought of 'her' but I had a lot of distractions in my life that got me over her. You probably don't want to hear this right now, but I'm trying to show you that things will get better. Things happen for a reason and your heart will find a way, through time, to mend itself.

    Hang in there, Rick.
    2-time Fantasy Baseball Champion.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk Menlow's Avatar
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    06.14.17 @ 06:46 PM
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    I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but it sounds like she did you a favor. It would be worse if you had invested more time in this girl.

  15. #15
    Forum Frontman
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    07.04.16 @ 08:03 PM
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    Default

    Rick:

    Most of what I would say has already been said here. So my immediate advice is simple: Do something good for yourself today--something about you, something you enjoy, something you deserve.

 

 

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