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  1. #1
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    06.07.15 @ 10:30 AM
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    Default Guitar World Interview with Eddie Van Halen (satire)

    (From the September 2007 issue)

    ...As he sits down with Guitar World for his first post-rehab interview, Ed stresses that he wants to keep the focus on his latest EVH project, the 5150III amp. Ed, his part-time tech and full-time manager Matt Bruck can barely contain their enthusiasm for the amp as they discuss details about their new baby.

    Guitar World Why did it take nearly two years to develop the 5150III?
    Eddie Van Halen It took so long because I'm a tone chaser. We had to find somebody who could understand me when I talked about tones. The 5150III is the ultimate amp. Everybody should buy one.
    Matt Bruck Eddie's amazing. He's got amazing ears for tones. It's all connected. The sound comes from the player's fingers, through the amp--
    Van Halen--The 5150III--
    Bruck--the 5150III, and to the ears. It's all connected.
    GW So, you had to build the amp that gave you the tones you needed?
    Van Halen Right. I'm a tone chaser. The 5150III is the greatest amp in the world. We went through tons of different parts, tried everything, and we didn't stop until we got the amp to sound like I hear in my head. I don't know what I'm doing. I just use my ears.
    Bruck We needed an amp with the right sound. It's all connected. Eddie has amazing ears.
    GW What sorts of tones do you require in an amp and how did you go about getting them?
    Bruck We tested everything here at 5150. If Eddie liked it here, we knew it would work anywhere. We would sometimes tweak it here, try different things out. Eddie has amazing ears for tones. We tried different tubes, transformers, knobs, screws--
    GW Screws?
    Van Halen Yeah. It wasn't sounding right. So I went back to the guys at Fender and told them to have a shorter guy screw the transformer onto the chassis. They had a guy who was like 6'3" screwing them in and, because he was so tall, the angle of his wrist would make the screw go in at a little bit of an angle.
    Bruck .0067" off center.
    Van Halen Yeah. So, I told them to have a shorter guy screw the transformer in, and the different angle of his wrist gave the amp the right kind of sustain. The 5150III is the ultimate amp. Everybody should buy one.
    GW But, I don't see how--
    Bruck Eddie's amazing. It's all connected. The music goes from the soul, through the heart, to the amp---
    Van Halen --5150III--
    Bruck --5150III, and through the screws and out the speaker.
    Van Halen I'm a tone chaser. I don't know what I'm doing. I just use my ears. Like with the birch wood for the speaker cabinets. The cabinets weren't giving me the tones I needed, so I went to the factory and told them to fire everybody who was born on a Tuesday.
    GW Wait, what? Born on a Tuesday?
    Van Halen Yeah. See guys who were born on a Tuesday use too much glue or something when they build speaker cabinets. I try and get guys who were born on a Monday. Their cabinets sound best. I don't know the details, I just listen with my ears. The 5150III is the only amp you need. Whether you're playing clubs or stadiums, country, rock or rap. The 5150III is the only amp to buy.
    Bruck Eddie has amazing ears. It's all connected. The music comes from the soul, through the esophagus, then through the guitar and into the am--5150III.
    GW Uh huh.
    Van Halen All my EVH gear is really tested, too. I check it out myself, and if it stands up to my tests, then I know it's going to work. With the 5150III, I was eating a sandwich and I left the other half of the sandwich on top of the 5150III for ,like, six months or something. And it still sounded great!
    GW The sandwich?
    Van Halen No, the 5150III. It's the ultimate amp. Everybody should buy one. Do you have one yet?
    GW No, not yet. What about the sandwich? Do you use the same one?
    Van Halen No. I made Matt eat it.
    Bruck It had some awesome tone from being in contact with the 5150III for so long. Eddie's amazing. It's all connected. The music comes from the pituitary gland,---
    GW You ate a six-month-old sandwich?
    Bruck Yeah. Even the guys at the hospital who pumped my stomach were amazed at the tones my stomach was making.
    Van Halen Yeah! They were like, "Whoa! This 5150III is an amazing amp!"
    GW Do you still have your old Marshall?
    Van Halen What Marshall? Marshall? What's a Marshall?
    GW You know. The famous "brown sound" Marshall that you used on all of the classic records?
    Van Halen I don't remember using anything. Every other amp I've ever played through is a piece of shit. I never even paid attention to what I was using because it sounded so bad. I'm a tone chaser. The 5150III is the only amp I use.
    GW Well, we're all glad that the amp is so good. Have you actually been using it to, you know, record any music?
    Van Halen Buy a 5150III.
    Bruck Eddie's amazing. It's all connected.


    -GW

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium steve mcqueen's Avatar
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    Did the six-month-old sandwich have horseradish on it?

  3. #3
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    06.23.17 @ 09:49 PM
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    that shit was funny lol.

    especially after you ve read the real interview , because it still has the same feel , the satarical one is just less subliminal. lol !
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

    1love4chi

    Deftones , now and forever and only second to VH.

    Dave or Sammy ?.........pffffft Eddie.

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    07.05.17 @ 10:26 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bullwinkle View Post
    Whether you're playing clubs or stadiums, country, rock or rap.
    Van Halen I don't remember using anything. Every other amp I've ever played through is a piece of shit. I never even paid attention to what I was using because it sounded so bad. I'm a tone chaser. The 5150III is the only amp I use.
    That was funny

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 03:26 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bullwinkle View Post
    Bruck We tested everything here at 5150. If Eddie liked it here, we knew it would work anywhere. We would sometimes tweak it here, try different things out. Eddie has amazing ears for tones. We tried different tubes, transformers, knobs, screws--
    GW Screws?
    Van Halen Yeah. It wasn't sounding right. So I went back to the guys at Fender and told them to have a shorter guy screw the transformer onto the chassis. They had a guy who was like 6'3" screwing them in and, because he was so tall, the angle of his wrist would make the screw go in at a little bit of an angle.
    Bruck .0067" off center.
    Van Halen Yeah. So, I told them to have a shorter guy screw the transformer in, and the different angle of his wrist gave the amp the right kind of sustain. The 5150III is the ultimate amp. Everybody should buy one.
    LMFAO at this part!
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  6. #6
    Hot For Teacher 8amtill606's Avatar
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    That is the best post that I have read here in at last 8 years!!!

    That satire was right on!

  7. #7
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viking View Post
    LMFAO at this part!


    Yep, that's fucking funny.....

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk Menlow's Avatar
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    06.14.17 @ 06:46 PM
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    Are we sure it was satire?

  9. #9
    Eruption Wolfgang_'99's Avatar
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    Default

    Its so repetitiive! Connected, Connected, Connected. Amazing, Buy it!! Tone, Tone, Tone!. LMAO
    VAN HALEN FOR LIFE

    Bands I've seen:

    VAN HALEN X2
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    In This Moment

    Proud Threetard

    5150

  10. #10
    Eruption
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    06.22.15 @ 03:18 PM
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    it would be funnier if it wasn't so true.

    "you can't unfry an egg." - DLR to Lance Watts on EVH circa 2003.
    not another dime from me, fellas...

    tinzen

  11. #11
    On Fire
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    04.24.11 @ 06:35 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by willyum View Post
    it would be funnier if it wasn't so true.

    "you can't unfry an egg." - DLR to Lance Watts on EVH circa 2003.
    I thought it was..."you can't unscrew a nun."

    And I agree...funny as hell, but a little too close to the truth for comfort.
    I like Van Halen.

  12. #12
    Good Enough
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    06.19.15 @ 04:34 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bullwinkle View Post
    GW Screws?
    Van Halen Yeah. It wasn't sounding right. So I went back to the guys at Fender and told them to have a shorter guy screw the transformer onto the chassis. They had a guy who was like 6'3" screwing them in and, because he was so tall, the angle of his wrist would make the screw go in at a little bit of an angle.
    Very Spinal Tap! Nigel would be proud....
    http://www.myspace.com/pennydreadfulnj

    “…and that’s when I learned that waterskiing and Quaaludes do not mix.”

    - Dewey Cox

  13. #13
    Baseball Season!
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    Quote Originally Posted by Otis5150 View Post
    Very Spinal Tap! Nigel would be proud....
    And the best thing about the 5150III is that the knobs all go to 11.
    "Your right little girl. If women ruled the world there wouldn't be any more war; all the countries would just nag each other to death"
    Archie Bunker

    "Any man who wouldn't cheat for a poke, don't want one bad enough"
    Captain Augustus McCrae in "Lonesome Dove"

    "He has erected a Multitude of new Offices, and sent hither Swarms of Officers to harrass our People, and eat out their Substance." - The Declaration of Independence

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing! Rick S's Avatar
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    06.23.17 @ 09:49 PM
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    actually the knobs have three marks.
    off
    1/2 way
    on

    read the reveiw im not joking.

    in some aspect that IS sorta spinal tapish.
    www.rickshick.tumblr.com

    1love4chi

    Deftones , now and forever and only second to VH.

    Dave or Sammy ?.........pffffft Eddie.

  15. #15
    On Fire
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    Is there an infinity switch?
    I like Van Halen.

 

 

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