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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Amazing New Device Prevents Spread Of Fart Induced Odor/Vapors...

    No longer must one feel embarrassment or feign ownership of ghastly odors eminating from one's own buttocks after a pleasing Mexican meal, while in a car, elevator or other closed space with friends.

    Behold...the "Flatulence Deodorizer": (Link w/pictures at http://www.flat-d.com/?gclid=CL7by5iQ8IwCFQJUZQodsUUbCw )

    Put an End to
    Personal Body Odor Problems
    for Good!
    Does excessive flatulence, incontinence or feminine odor ( ) stifle your life? Are you refraining from living a complete lifestyle - one to the fullest - because of embarrassing, uncontrollable odors or mishaps?

    WE HAVE THE SOLUTION YOU’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR!
    Hello, and welcome to Flat-D Innovations!

    I am the American Inventor who has created a product that is revolutionizing the personal hygiene industry around the world. The Flatulence Deodorizer will not only solve a problem but will also enhance/improve the quality of life for people, by eliminating the embarrassment caused by the odor from flatulence. My name is Brian J. Conant, President of Flat-D Innovations, Inc. and Inventor of “The Flatulence Deodorizer” (U.S. Patent-6,313,371)

    The Flatulence Deodorizer is a three-ply activated charcoal cloth pad, that is secured inside the underwear similar to a panty liner. It absorbs the intestinal gas odor right at the source before it gets into the air, and others can smell it.

    *The pad actually fits inside the underwear and isn’t bulgy or detectible...
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Uhhh...the site includes testimonials and success stories.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  2. #2
    Good Enough
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    lmao.....that pic is great.

    The Flatulence Deodorizer is a three-ply activated charcoal cloth pad, that is secured inside the underwear similar to a panty liner. It absorbs the intestinal gas odor right at the source before it gets into the air, and others can smell it.
    "similar to a panty liner".

    lol....
    From 3-13 to 10-6 and NFC South Champs.....go Saints!

    My Hurricane Katrina pics

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Lmfao

  4. #4
    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
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    12.06.17 @ 06:36 AM
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    What about the family dog? Sparky needs one, too.

    And what about deaf people, are they just cut out of the fun altogether?

    These things must be considered.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 06:24 AM
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    I gotta get me one!!!!!

    Not!!!!! I'm proud of my odoriforus eminations!!!!!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium Guitar Shark's Avatar
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    Dare I ask, Craig, what prompted you to search for this product?

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitar Shark View Post
    Dare I ask, Craig, what prompted you to search for this product?
    LOL! I was thinking the same thing...

    There's NO WAY I'm wearing a 'panty liner'. As far as the GOOD ones go, I'm DAMN proud of them and EVERYONE should partake...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  8. #8
    Baluchitherium KT's Avatar
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    08.08.17 @ 07:44 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by sixstring View Post
    LOL! I was thinking the same thing...

    There's NO WAY I'm wearing a 'panty liner'. As far as the GOOD ones go, I'm DAMN proud of them and EVERYONE should partake...
    SEE?!? now, WHY did you have to go there, six? 20+ years have come and gone without me having that mental image or having to "partake" of your "sewer ass" after a tasty meal at La Fiesta (which, by the way, rocks and i'm craving that f'in guac. right about now ). This is NOT something I'm particularly looking forward to. i guess as a friend-for-life, however, it's gonna hit me smack dab between the eyes one day, though. thanks for the warning.
    Meet me in Cabo!

  9. #9
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    Let's see... Ben (lead singer of AT/DT)... my buddy James... my finacee's father... half my studio clients... Brett, as a gift for keeping VHLinks up and going...

    I'll take a dozen of them.

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk stilleddiesangel's Avatar
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    08.25.17 @ 05:45 PM
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    Anyone who drinks Newcastle Brown Ale should be made to wear these by law! Also munchers of cabbage, refried beans, baked beans, curry and brussel sprouts!

    The thought....
    ****Texas - Home Of My Heart****

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by stilleddiesangel View Post
    Anyone who drinks Newcastle Brown Ale should be made to wear these by law! Also munchers of cabbage, refried beans, baked beans, curry and brussel sprouts!

    The thought....
    And Chipotle. There should be a warning on the door: THOSE WITH I.B.S. CONSUME AT YOUR OWN RISK.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Guitar Shark View Post
    Dare I ask, Craig, what prompted you to search for this product?
    I was reading one of the two local "indy" rags put out every week by the major newspapers here, GS. It features a column of 5-6 "new" things worthy of notice in pop culture, such as odd websites, movies and the like.

    I honestly thought it was a joke, and simply had to find out the straight...err...poop, as it were.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    11.02.17 @ 09:45 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by AndrewThomas.net View Post
    Let's see... Ben (lead singer of AT/DT)... my buddy James... my finacee's father... half my studio clients... Brett, as a gift for keeping VHLinks up and going...

    I'll take a dozen of them.
    I don't know why, but AT/DT has me laughing my ass off. It sounds like Corky from "Life Goes On" naming his favorite thunder from down under band.

    And on the subject of this thread, farting is no fun without odor. Case closed.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  14. #14
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
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    I'm getting one of these for a guy I know who's got halitosis ,or something going on.....Guy's breath smells like he's been eating fucking dead skunks off the side of the road...I'll tape it over his face...

  15. #15
    Forum Frontman
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viking View Post
    I don't know why, but AT/DT has me laughing my ass off. It sounds like Corky from "Life Goes On" naming his favorite thunder from down under band.

    And on the subject of this thread, farting is no fun without odor. Case closed.
    There is indeed pride in the odor--when it is your own.

    AT/DT started as a complete joke. We all wanted a break from our "regular" bands that were getting too serious and not fun. Our initial batch of stupid songs turned into the first EP (the "OU812" cover), but we found that a few of them rocked quite hard to play live. So we started writing more of the heavy rock stuff, because that was what became fun, and it slowly turned into more of just a goofy band that was kind of good. I'm actually damn proud of the new album we're just finishing; it might be the best writing, producing, and playing I've ever done in the studio. There's still some crazy-not-serious songs: "Silent Treatment," "Space Lesbians," "Friends (With Benefits)," and "V" (where every lyric in the song starts with the letter V--and I play it live on my miniature scale Flying V). Moral of the story: Don't ever take what you're doing too seriously; sometimes things just work out better then.

    It seems right I went off on an unsolicited rant about my band in a thread about farting.

 

 

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