Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 23

Thread: Honest Advice

  1. #1
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    12.06.01
    Age
    45
    Location
    Yuma, AZ
    Posts
    2,056
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    07.27.07 @ 01:06 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default Honest Advice

    Check it out, I hope this doesn't sound stupid but I need someone to talk some sense into me.

    I just agreed to play another season of softball. I promised my wife that I was done because of my leg and bad shoulder. I hurt my shoulder playing a few years ago and it has never gotten better. I got an MRI done but they didn't find anything, it pops in and out but nothing shows up on the MRI. I can get the ball from first to third but that's about it, it doesn't have a lot of zip on it at all, at least not like it used to. In softball I traditionally play the outfield but I'm getting older (34 is old in A & B league) and we have young guys to play the outfield, I have switched to first base the last couple of seasons (my old baseball position) and that works out great (not many throwing opportunities).

    I play because I don't know how not to. I can't play good defense because of my screwed up leg and bad shoulder. I have played baseball/softball every year of my life since I turned five, not playing feels really wrong. I always said to myself I wouldn't be one of those guys that hangs around to long, but I thought that wouldn't happen until my 40's. I don't play in a beer league, it's competitive and it's played to win, if you don't perform you’re asked to leave (politely). The team I play with is decent but it's not what I'm used to, it's a real sign that I'm hanging on to something I can't do anymore (at least not like I would like to). I can't hold my son in my left arm for more then a minute and I can't imagine showing him how to throw a curve if he want's me to (hopefully he's a smart kid and doesn't like sports ). It's over and it's time to find something else to do (I started playing Golf but I like playing something I'm good at ). I love hitting and the thought of me crushing a softball makes me salivate but continuing on will make it hard for me to play with the little boy when he's old enough.

    My wife want's me to coach little league since I used to do that in North Carolina and on the Marine base here but it's hard to get established, I don't speak Spanish well enough to communicate with a lot of the kids. Were moving to Idaho next year so I can do it up there (and I doubt they have much of a softball scene either, so that's good).

    Anyway, this post is to long and the subject is border line gay so I'm going to rap it up.

    I'm sure most here had to stop doing something they loved so any words of advice will be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks!

  2. #2
    5150 C5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.30.04
    Posts
    640
    Last Online

    10.19.15 @ 11:50 AM
    Likes
    1
    Liked 10 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by willy4pres View Post
    Check it out, I hope this doesn't sound stupid but I need someone to talk some sense into me.

    I just agreed to play another season of softball. I promised my wife that I was done because of my leg and bad shoulder. I hurt my shoulder playing a few years ago and it has never gotten better. I got an MRI done but they didn't find anything, it pops in and out but nothing shows up on the MRI. I can get the ball from first to third but that's about it, it doesn't have a lot of zip on it at all, at least not like it used to. In softball I traditionally play the outfield but I'm getting older (34 is old in A & B league) and we have young guys to play the outfield, I have switched to first base the last couple of seasons (my old baseball position) and that works out great (not many throwing opportunities).

    I play because I don't know how not to. I can't play good defense because of my screwed up leg and bad shoulder. I have played baseball/softball every year of my life since I turned five, not playing feels really wrong. I always said to myself I wouldn't be one of those guys that hangs around to long, but I thought that wouldn't happen until my 40's. I don't play in a beer league, it's competitive and it's played to win, if you don't perform you’re asked to leave (politely). The team I play with is decent but it's not what I'm used to, it's a real sign that I'm hanging on to something I can't do anymore (at least not like I would like to). I can't hold my son in my left arm for more then a minute and I can't imagine showing him how to throw a curve if he want's me to (hopefully he's a smart kid and doesn't like sports ). It's over and it's time to find something else to do (I started playing Golf but I like playing something I'm good at ). I love hitting and the thought of me crushing a softball makes me salivate but continuing on will make it hard for me to play with the little boy when he's old enough.

    My wife want's me to coach little league since I used to do that in North Carolina and on the Marine base here but it's hard to get established, I don't speak Spanish well enough to communicate with a lot of the kids. Were moving to Idaho next year so I can do it up there (and I doubt they have much of a softball scene either, so that's good).

    Anyway, this post is to long and the subject is border line gay so I'm going to rap it up.

    I'm sure most here had to stop doing something they loved so any words of advice will be greatly appreciated.

    Thanks!
    I've played in A & B leagues with guys that were between 50 & 60! They were either A pitcher or catcher, mostly pitchers! They would not have played if they were not good enough! I say keep going if you can play 1st , and still pick the ball out of the dirt!

  3. #3
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    12.06.01
    Age
    45
    Location
    Yuma, AZ
    Posts
    2,056
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    07.27.07 @ 01:06 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by C5150 View Post
    I've played in A & B leagues with guys that were between 50 & 60! They were either A pitcher or catcher, mostly pitchers! They would not have played if they were not good enough! I say keep going if you can play 1st , and still pick the ball out of the dirt!
    You have A & B guys in their 50's and 60's!?!? Holy crap! We have C & D guys that old but sure as hell not A or B (especially A!).

    I'm 34 and one of the oldest playing. We have one guy in his mid 40's that can still play outstanding ball but it doesn't get any higher then that (age). Yuma eats sleeps and drinks softball, other then soccer there isn't another sport played here (maybe some Basketball on the base). I played in a largely Mexican baseball league down in San Luis, we had some older dudes playing there but not on the same team. I guess Mexicans can play ball forever.

    The coach keeps bugging me about playing, maybe he will ask me to pitch, ill definitely quit then. A guy has to have some dignity!

  4. #4
    Eruption te5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.17.03
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    1,388
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Last Online

    09.24.13 @ 12:08 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Just my opinion, willy, but you're wrapping part of your identity with the sport. My guess is, in some way, you define yourself partially as a softball player.

    That's fine. Lots of people do that. I did the same with another sport. It was part of who I was.

    When I HAD to quit, it took some time for me to get over it. But the best piece of advice anyone gave me was this: you are the only one who believes you are a softball player.

    In other words, your wife doesn't see you as a softball player. Your son doesn't see you as a softball player. It's unimportant to them. If you never picked up a glove again, they wouldn't care. It would not affect - at all- how they see you.

    Only you define yourself as a softball player. And now, you have the great opportunity to define yourself in some other way. Have fun choosing what that might be.

  5. #5
    Forum Frontman Double Down's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.10.05
    Age
    49
    Location
    Boston
    Posts
    17,911
    Favorite VH Album

    ('78-'84) VH 1; ('86-'95) 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Dave- I'm The One ; Sam- 5150
    Last Online

    11.17.17 @ 12:11 PM
    Likes
    538
    Liked 1,033 Times in 543 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by te5150 View Post
    Just my opinion, willy, but you're wrapping part of your identity with the sport. My guess is, in some way, you define yourself partially as a softball player.

    In other words, your wife doesn't see you as a softball player. Your son doesn't see you as a softball player. It's unimportant to them. If you never picked up a glove again, they wouldn't care. It would not affect - at all- how they see you.

    Only you define yourself as a softball player. And now, you have the great opportunity to define yourself in some other way. Have fun choosing what that might be.

    Very well said. That's excellent advice/insight.
    .
    .
    .
    VH with Dave ('78-'84) - The best years....the "real" VH.
    VH with Sam ('86-'96) - Incredible era....."We have renamed this town 'New Halen!'.
    VH with Gary ('98) - Fucking disaster. WTF was that??
    VH with Wolf/Dave ('12-'15) - Amazing comeback. Smokin' album and tours.

  6. #6
    Eruption Stiil_A_Fan's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.01.07
    Age
    49
    Location
    The Ville Louisville Ky
    Posts
    801
    Favorite VH Album

    Diver Down
    Favorite VH Song

    The ones about Dancing
    Last Online

    11.26.14 @ 12:50 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Hey willy

    You can be what ever you want but from now on, the most important thing you are is Dad.

  7. #7
    The Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    03.13.04
    Age
    46
    Location
    pa
    Posts
    162
    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning
    Favorite VH Song

    unchained
    Last Online

    12.22.07 @ 10:11 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    my advice

    Dude..I played Ice hockey for 15 years..I skated 5 , 6 days a week at one point,.I worked at an ice arena for 6 years.When my first child was born I had to give it up .It was a decision at the time I didn't think I could do ..I miss playing but life goes on ..I quit cold turkey 12 years ago and havent played since..Now I focus on my recording and guitar playing ,and my 2 kids.
    I realized it wasnt worth getting hurt for real..And I had some real close calls.
    Anyway just my oppinion....:joe
    " sometimes the best view of a plane crash is on a seat in the plane "

    " Tune in to what this place has got to offer because we may never be here again" (BBworlds)


    http://www.soundclick.com/members/de...=Joey+Tromollo

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.13.04
    Location
    Avengers Tower
    Posts
    10,149
    Favorite VH Album

    Chickenfoot III
    Favorite VH Song

    Different Devil
    Last Online

    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 340 Times in 184 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    I quit about 3 years ago. I have the same problem with my non-throwing shoulder. If I reach back the wrong way the fucker pops out. It's painful but I can pop it right back in and it never really delayed a game. I had a compound fracture of my tibia and fibula around '96 from playing softball. I finally just told myself it's not worth it. To tell you the truth, I don't miss it and I too have played since I was 5. Funny, I was 34 at the time I quit too.
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, “Tokyo Dome In Concert,” is available for purchase, and it’s super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  9. #9
    Good Enough
    Join Date
    12.06.01
    Age
    45
    Location
    Yuma, AZ
    Posts
    2,056
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    07.27.07 @ 01:06 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    te5150, that was an excellent post and completely true. I almost feel guilty that you used it in my thread.

    You guys know what your talking about. To be honest I don't really miss it right now (I haven't played for the past 2 seasons, but in this town thats only 6 months). I'm the only person that cares about playing the sport, my family and friends could care less (I'm not really "friends" with the people I play with, in fact none of them are friends with each other).

    If I keep doing this I won't be able to do much of anything with my left arm. I'm just not one of those guys that can continue doing things I did when I was 12, whats the big deal?

    I think some of this has to do with me burning another bridge in softball. I used to act like a complete lunatic when I was playing, I said some really horrible things to people I have been friends with for years. I don't get asked to play ball anymore, this team I'm playing on is it for me, if I quit this it will piss off the coach and he won't come back and ask me again. But again, who really cares, it's not like I'm on his Christmas card list.

    It's stupid that something as silly as this requires so much thought (and so much advice) on my part. My wife hates it when I play, she's as far away from sports as you can imagine. I play tournaments and at the end (after 10 games in 2-3 days) wonder why I do this to myself. I don't even care how the games turn out anymore, as long as I hit one out I'm happy (thats not exactly the definition of a good team player).

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.03.04
    Age
    46
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    7,640
    Last Online

    06.03.17 @ 06:59 PM
    Likes
    1,188
    Liked 327 Times in 204 Posts

    Default

    Wily, I wouldn't say it's a "borderline gay" subject (although I thought about starting a softball thread in the Sports section but never did....)

    Like you I've played baseball and softball since I was about 5 years old. I'm 36 now and the last couple of seasons I've started to realize that my playing isn't what it once was (naturally). Although sometimes the occasional flashes of youth shine through. I play shortstop and I know it's a demanding position. I play in a B league and my team is competitive, but we are out for a good time as well. In other words, it's a competitive beer league. My core group of friends have played together since '91. Most of the guys have families now and so priorities have obviously shifted. Softball isn't my life but I do love to play. And I plan on playing into my 40's (of course I'll have to give up SS at some point). Last fall I didn't finish fall league due to a "twinge" in my knee. It turned out to be nothing....yet.
    Maybe you could go into a less competitive league. Just a suggestion. Plus you have your health to worry about.
    More importantly, te5150 said it best that softball is unimportant to your wife and son; "it doesn't affect how they see you."
    I know that something like this is tough to give up, but I also know that someday I will give it up.
    2-time Fantasy Baseball Champion.

  11. #11
    Eruption
    Join Date
    07.19.01
    Location
    new zealand
    Posts
    1,062
    Favorite VH Album

    ballance
    Favorite VH Song

    dreams
    Last Online

    01.26.17 @ 05:47 PM
    Likes
    12
    Liked 5 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    Take ayear off get yourself fit and if you feel like playing next year go for it.

  12. #12
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.27.02
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    7,761
    Favorite VH Album

    all
    Favorite VH Song

    strung out....
    Last Online

    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 4 Times in 4 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    Yeah....maybe take a break.


    Try playing some hockey or rugby.....I'll help ya with the rules then tell your wife your trying something new......

  13. #13
    Eruption vistadelrey's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.02.05
    Age
    48
    Location
    US
    Posts
    1,411
    Favorite VH Album

    ADKOT
    Favorite VH Song

    Blood & Fire
    Last Online

    03.13.13 @ 09:54 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    I stopped playing basketball cuz i couldn't compete as well at age 37. I had played it all my life and now i'm done. big deal. I play squash now and I'm a young guy out there. i wasn't as good as some of the older guys with good racquet skills but I got past the learning curve. now i run just as much as basketball and I don't have to hear all the whiney bitches out on the court. I don't have to find nine others to play with. squash is killer. I never knew till I made the leap from bball to squash. just do it. learn something else dude. It's so much more fun doing something new rather than doing the same ole same ole. grow. expand your horizons. take up golf, squash, coaching, mountain bikes or whatever...just try something new. it's waiting for you.
    If eddie were down and out on a sidewalk playing guitar I'd be next to him with a bottle and a blanky braving the cold. I would be sucking my thumb happily making chupa chupa noises in sync with the petroglyphic sounds that came from the mighty finger tips of Edward Van Halen.

  14. #14
    Baluchitherium steve mcqueen's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.27.06
    Age
    51
    Location
    The Bay Area
    Posts
    4,534
    Last Online

    12.10.17 @ 10:41 PM
    Likes
    64
    Liked 209 Times in 124 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    Join the American League and DH.......

  15. #15
    On Fire Rebel67's Avatar
    Join Date
    10.31.02
    Age
    49
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    354
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen 1 Thru 1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    10.17.09 @ 10:00 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Yeah, you should just take a break or quit......FUCK THAT!
    Hello People...it's called passion. If you love something, then it's like breathing. You have to do it, or a part of you dies. My suggestion is if you still love it and can function, then listen to NO ONE ELSE. You do what you love for you. If your wife or friends don't support you, then they can sit home while you enjoy the sunshine and smell of fresh cut grass. It's your life man. You are as young as you feel. I have been playing guitar for 28 years and if anyone tells me I'm too old for this or should grow up, I tell them to SUCK IT. Watch ROCKY BALBOA and check out CHUCK BERRY. The man is in his 80's and still tours and plays standing up. FUCK this too old shit. BLAZE ON!!

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. McDonalds, and be honest.
    By MAX in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 118
    Last Post: 01.29.17, 11:32 PM
  2. Be honest
    By StonewallVH5150 in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 02.17.06, 08:13 AM
  3. I have to be honest with you
    By The7thSeal in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 11.22.02, 02:11 PM
  4. ok be honest....
    By muffdiver in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 09.08.02, 12:11 PM
  5. an honest request...
    By AbeVanHalen in forum VHLinks Feedback & Troubleshooting
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09.19.00, 09:22 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •