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  1. #1
    On Fire Rebel67's Avatar
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    10.17.09 @ 10:00 PM
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    Default Latest Dirty Joke You Heard

    I'll go first. I was at band practice when I heard this one.

    Guy walks into a Whore House and tells the Madame "hey, I'm broke and need a quickie...ya got anything for $5?"

    Madame: No, sorry,,,a wait a minute yeah I do. Her name is Sandpaper Sally..and She'll do anything.

    Guy: Great! Let me see her.

    So the madame takes him in to see Sally.

    Guy: Wow! She's Beautiful! Let's go!

    So they get down to business until the guy stops and says "damn..it's really dry and rough down there..ya got anything for that?

    Sally: Yeah...just a minute. (she leaves the room for a minute or 2.)

    When Sally comes back they get it back into high gear and everything is slippery, warm and wet.

    Guy: Holy Shit that was amazing! But what did you do?

    Sally: Oh, I just picked all of my scabs.
    Last edited by Rebel67; 06.06.07 at 09:59 PM. Reason: duh

  2. #2
    On Fire
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    Favorite VH Album

    VH1
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    Girl Gone Bad. It Jamz!!!
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    04.11.13 @ 12:43 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Rebel67 View Post
    I'll go first. I was at band practice when I heard this one.

    Guy walks into a Whore House and tells the Madame "hey, I'm broke and need a quickie...ya got anything for $5?"

    Madame: No, sorry,,,a wait a minute yeah I do. Her name is Sandpaper Sally..and She'll do anything.

    Guy: Great! Let me see her.

    So the madame takes him in to see Sally.

    Guy: Wow! She's Beautiful! Let's go!

    So they get down to business until the guy stops and says "damn..it's really dry and rough down there..ya got anything for that?

    Sally: Yeah...just a minute. (she leaves the room for a minute or 2.)

    When Sally comes back they get it back into high gear and everything is slippery, warm and wet.

    Guy: Holy Shit that was amazing! But what did you do?

    Sally: Oh, I just picked all of my scabs.
    Dude......

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Humans Being
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    12.07.17 @ 02:51 PM
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    Default

    Disgusting!!!

    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  4. #4
    Baluchitherium hatchetforce's Avatar
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    Hear About It Later
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    11.27.15 @ 03:34 PM
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    Default

    Whattya call five naked blondes walking into the pub on their hands?

    Brunettes with bad breath


    . . . . .
    "The eagle lands at midnight: bacon burger ice cube over" ~ jetguy5150

  5. #5
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    all
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    strung out....
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    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
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    Premium Member

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    Default

    Haha...good one...

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing!
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    03.02.10 @ 03:28 PM
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    Default

    That first one gave me nightmares. Talk about skeevy! EEEEEOWW!

  7. #7
    Good Enough vanzefflin's Avatar
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    10.26.17 @ 04:07 PM
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    Default

    A west coast kid comes home and asks his dad if he can borrow the car.

    Dad:Yeah, but you know what you gotta do. You gotta suck your daddies dick.

    West coast kid: Damn daddy! Please! Just let me borrow the car.

    Dad: No problem but, you know what you gotta do.

    Finally the west coast kid relents and starts sucking. A few minutes into the deed he looks up and says, damn daddy your dick tastes like shit!

    Dad: Oh yeah. I forgot. Your sister has the car!
    Last edited by vanzefflin; 06.07.07 at 07:27 AM.
    EDDIE IS THE ULTIMATE ROCK DOG!

  8. #8
    Eruption Executionor's Avatar
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    03.03.15 @ 08:24 PM
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    OMFG to the first one. That is the best and nastiest joke I have heard to date. I wanna puke now....PHLUUUUKKKK It was sick and hilarious at the same time. Eeeekk
    "Knowing is not enough, we must apply,willing is not enough, we must do" -Goethe

    Minds are like parachutes. They only function when they are open.--Sir James Dewar, Scientist (1877-1925)

    Always drink upstream from the herd...
    --Will Rogers

    It is amazing how much some people can do with so little, however, what is even more amazing to me is how little some people can do with so much.
    --Somewhat me, mostly someone else, not sure who

  9. #9
    Good Enough
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    12.10.17 @ 11:34 PM
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    Default

    ok..this is really bad...seriously...if your easily offended, do not read. I heard this years ago.





    What does a guy walking a tightrope have in common with a guy getting a blowjob from a 12 year old girl.




    neither of them look down.
    Last edited by rchop84; 06.07.07 at 06:38 PM.
    Dealing with it.

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    06.07.15 @ 10:30 AM
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    Default

    A cowboy rides into town and goes to into the tavern.
    "Boy, am I horny," he says to the innkeeper, "I been drivin' this herd all the way from Cheyenne, and I ain't had no woman in three months! You gotta set me up with a girl. And I need it quick!"
    "Well, I'll tell ya', pardner," says the innkeeper, "we only got two whores in this town and they's mighty busy this time of year. We got Sarah. She costs five dollars, and she'll be available next Tuesday. We also got Alice. She costs six dollars and she's available next Thursday."
    "Damn!", says the cowboy. "I can't wait till next Tuesday. I need something right now!"
    "Well, you can poke old Doc Potter up the ass if you want to," says the innkeeper, "You can do that right now. He costs twenty dollars."
    "What? I don't much like the idea of pokin' an old man up the ass! And why does he cost twenty dollars?"
    "Well," says the innkeeper, "the twenty dollars is to pay four guys to hold him down. Old Doc Potter don't much like the idea neither!"

  11. #11
    Eruption Dr5115's Avatar
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    12.10.17 @ 09:51 PM
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    What's the definition of a virgin in the state of Arkansas?


    A thirteen year old girl who can still out run her brothers.

  12. #12
    Hot For Teacher chas's Avatar
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    08.31.15 @ 01:43 PM
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    Default

    Bartender tells the guy at the bar "hey you wanna see something?" "sure the guy says" Bartender blows a whistle, out comes a monkey, bartender beats the shit out of it with a bat, then the monkey sucks the bartenders dick.
    The guy at the bar goes "WOW!!! CAN I TRY THAT?" "Sure" says the bartender. Guy goes " Just Promise you won't hit me so hard?"

  13. #13
    Eruption Gypsy King's Avatar
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    12.10.17 @ 05:14 PM
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    Liked 44 Times in 27 Posts

    Default

    Little Kid: Hey mom!! What's for dinner tonight?
    Mom: Tomato Soup!!
    Little Kid: Tomato Soup again?
    Mom: Shut up and eat!! We only have it once a month.

 

 

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