Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 19

Thread: 7 Kinds of Sex

  1. #1
    Good Enough vhrocker's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.18.06
    Age
    46
    Location
    "Mean Street", Oklahoma
    Posts
    2,197
    Favorite VH Album

    The one I'm listenin' to.
    Favorite VH Song

    Can't pick just one
    Last Online

    01.21.15 @ 08:57 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 15 Times in 15 Posts

    Default 7 Kinds of Sex

    7 kinds of sex

    The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face.

    The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.

    The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom.

    The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "screw you".

    The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife/Hubby any more. She/He takes you to court and screws
    you in front of everyone.

    The 6th kind is called Religious Sex, which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon and Nun at night.

    OOPS. Don't forget the 7th kind of sex - Social Security Sex. You get a little each month. But not enough to live on!
    ALEX IS GOD!!!

    I've been doin' this for 'bout 20 years now, and I'll tell ya, to this day I still don't know the right drumstick from the left drumstick -Alex Van Halen


  2. #2
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Age
    41
    Location
    Chicago
    Posts
    17,830
    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
    Likes
    54
    Liked 40 Times in 29 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Nice!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  3. #3
    Hang 'Em High RRMB's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.09.03
    Age
    47
    Location
    EyeOhWuh
    Posts
    6,794
    Favorite VH Album

    The 1 that had that 1 song
    Favorite VH Song

    Runaround, MWM, MAM
    Last Online

    05.21.17 @ 06:42 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 9 Times in 4 Posts

    Default

    I resemble that list....ESPECIALLY the Courtroom and Social Security sections
    "Jesus, that fucker just crawled out of his hen house that was destroyed by the Alabama tornados. Fucking 280mph plus winds sucked the gleam off this bitch and passed it on to a bird in Rhoad Island." - Hurricane Halen 5/3/11 (about my birthday chicken from seenbad)

    "Pete is this big, loud muthafucker with a big ass heart, y'all!!!!---------" - Hurricane Halen 9/27/13

    "Princess Freckle-Tits hasn't had a good day." LLFHS 7/8/10 (on Lindsay Lohans' legal drama)


    http://www.facebook.com/RedRockinMonkeyBoy

    CHILDREN OF "THE FOOT" UNITE

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.01.02
    Location
    A Confederacy of Dunces
    Posts
    19,370
    Last Online

    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default

    There is also "Communicative" sex. This is when one's partner enjoys talking during sex, for instance the time my wife called me from a hotel room.

    Many thanx to Rodney Dangerfield.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  5. #5
    Outta Space Cowboy Scotty's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.02
    Location
    Virginia, USA
    Posts
    11,027
    Favorite VH Album

    VH I
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 07:00 AM
    Likes
    246
    Liked 596 Times in 366 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    for instance the time my wife called me from a hotel room.

  6. #6
    Baluchitherium steve mcqueen's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.27.06
    Age
    51
    Location
    The Bay Area
    Posts
    4,534
    Last Online

    12.17.17 @ 09:35 PM
    Likes
    64
    Liked 209 Times in 124 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig View Post
    There is also "Communicative" sex. This is when one's partner enjoys talking during sex, for instance the time my wife called me from a hotel room.

    Many thanx to Rodney Dangerfield.
    insert rim shot here....

  7. #7
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Which category would uncontrollable loud, screaming, very vocal sex be place in?

  8. #8
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.27.02
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    7,761
    Favorite VH Album

    all
    Favorite VH Song

    strung out....
    Last Online

    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 4 Times in 4 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    That would be pillow over her face sex...

  9. #9
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by muffdiver View Post
    That would be pillow over her face sex...

    Lol. Who said "she" anyway?

  10. #10
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.27.02
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    7,761
    Favorite VH Album

    all
    Favorite VH Song

    strung out....
    Last Online

    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 4 Times in 4 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    Well then I don't wanna talk about it if it ain't a she....

  11. #11
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by muffdiver View Post
    Well then I don't wanna talk about it if it ain't a she....

    Why not? Nothing wrong with that.
    I meant it could be the male or female being loud.

  12. #12
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.27.02
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    7,761
    Favorite VH Album

    all
    Favorite VH Song

    strung out....
    Last Online

    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 4 Times in 4 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    No, nothing wrong with that, but I'll have to pass...

    Lotta Seinfeld references here lately....that's good though...

  13. #13
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by muffdiver View Post
    No, nothing wrong with that, but I'll have to pass...

    Lotta Seinfeld references here lately....that's good though...
    Yep. I've got my mind on football now.

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk fast98dodge's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.24.04
    Age
    43
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    8,212
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen II
    Last Online

    08.07.17 @ 08:14 PM
    Likes
    331
    Liked 313 Times in 149 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Kimmie5150 View Post
    Yep. I've got my mind on football now.

    Football in a Sex Thread???

    What???

    Ok...

    Wide Receiver or Tight End???



    Actually, #6 reminds me of a joke...

    There's the positive kind of sex... "OH YES, OH YES!!!"
    The negative... "OH NO, OH NO!!!"
    The religious... "OH GOD, OH GOD!!!"
    The faking it... "OH FAST98..."

    Gotta take a jab at myself every now and again...
    Last edited by fast98dodge; 05.27.07 at 08:27 PM.
    Jet City Super Stealth
    Marshall 50th Anniversary JCM-1H and Class 5 Combo
    Austin Speaker Works KTS-60

  15. #15
    Banned!
    Join Date
    04.27.07
    Location
    At my house
    Posts
    7,262
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Ed plays on
    Favorite VH Song

    See above
    Last Online

    08.19.10 @ 08:10 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 8 Times in 8 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fast98dodge View Post
    Football in a Sex Thread???

    What???

    Ok...

    Wide Receiver or Tight End???


    Lol. Tight End baby!

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Go to ebay and type in Van Halen all kinds of good stuff
    By Dusie in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09.14.00, 01:13 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •