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Thread: Friggin Drunks

  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    Default Friggin Drunks

    I'm at work here at the Motel on a busy Friday night. We've got the Sea Otter Classic Mountain Bike race out at Laguna Secca and things are jumping.

    From out of nowhere this duchebag stumbles in and flips his credit card at me. He doesn't have a reservation and doesn't say a word. It's because HE CAN'T, he's too fucking drunk. It was all he could do to give me his address, which I copied phonetically.

    Well, said douchebag has parked his SUV askew in the gas station parking lot. I can't ask him to move it because he's just to pathetically drunk. So at some point it's going to get towed away because the Titanic is blocking the air-pumps.So it's going to be a long night.

    I used to drink. I always walked home. This asshat drove around for who knows how long in an oversized SUV. I've done my part, I got his useless ass of the road. I just have to look at his fucked up parking job all night, so I'm stewing.

    Don't be like this asshole. If you wanna drink, fine, no problem. If you drive you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.

    End of rant...
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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  2. #2
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
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    Have some fun with it man.....He won't remember jack shit in the mornin'.....

  3. #3
    Eruption Interceptor's Avatar
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    12.11.17 @ 03:24 AM
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    Nice Axxman, I'm glad you did your part in getting him off of the road. The worst part of what you described IMO is that after this is said and done and the dumb ass gets his SUV towed, he's gonna be moaning, pissing, crying and expecting everyone to feel sorry for him just because he's a retard that deserves to have his vehicle towed along with everything else that he has brought upon himself.

    Sorry, I started my own rant. My brother is an alcoholic w/3 drunk driving charges and his take on his situation is that "he just had bad luck and got caught for something that everyone else does and gets away with."

  4. #4
    Niners Fan! SactoFan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Interceptor View Post
    Nice Axxman, I'm glad you did your part in getting him off of the road. The worst part of what you described IMO is that after this is said and done and the dumb ass gets his SUV towed, he's gonna be moaning, pissing, crying and expecting everyone to feel sorry for him just because he's a retard that deserves to have his vehicle towed along with everything else that he has brought upon himself.

    Sorry, I started my own rant. My brother is an alcoholic w/3 drunk driving charges and his take on his situation is that "he just had bad luck and got caught for something that everyone else does and gets away with."
    Actually, you insult the retarded with this post...

    Retarded can't be helped...Stupid is voluntary...
    Can't stop...addicted to the shindig...

  5. #5
    Niners Fan! SactoFan's Avatar
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    Axx, I see an Amazon shopping spree in someone's future...haha
    Can't stop...addicted to the shindig...

  6. #6
    Sinner's Swing! Bullwinkle's Avatar
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    06.07.15 @ 10:30 AM
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    Jeff Foxworthy does a great bit about being a designated driver:
    You get a car full of drunks and, while you're driving them home, you pull into a gas station and say, "Hey man, you said you'd chip in for gas. Everybody give me a couple of bucks for gas!". All the drunks give you a few bucks and you drive on until the next gas station where you pull in and say, "Hey, you guys, you said you'd chip in for gas!", and all the drunks give you some money. Then you pull out of the gas station and drive on until the next gas station...

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SactoFan View Post
    Axx, I see an Amazon shopping spree in someone's future...haha
    Even better, go online now and subscribe the guy to a shit load of gay porn websites, DVD memberships and magazines...
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  8. #8
    Eruption 5150's Avatar
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    12.02.17 @ 12:58 PM
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    I agree, go have fun with it, man.

    If said 'titanic' has been left unlocked, grab yourself a lawn chair, a video camera and a favorite beverage of choice. Push 'titanic' in the middle of the street, and watch as the hilarity ensue as the Sea Otter Classic Mountain Bike race comes around the corner.

    PS - Dont forget to post it on YouTube.
    "I didn't just drive a thousand goddamn miles on a motorcycle to watch some little girl prance around on stage" - Steve Morrison on if Justin Bieber performed at Sturgis Motorcycle Rally

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  9. #9
    Atomic Punk
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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    I wish I could unleash the evil but I'm just too damn professional.

    The fun will be when he see's his bill in the moring because I know damned well he thinks it's $29, instead of $144. The morning guy will kick his ass.

    ** He just called down as I was typing and asked if he had any messages "Any methigez?"...loser.***
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  10. #10
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    Tell him there's no messages for him, but there is someone there looking for someone driving an SUV that smashed their car.....That'll freak him out...

  11. #11
    Forum Frontman
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    07.04.16 @ 08:03 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300 View Post
    Don't be like this asshole. If you wanna drink, fine, no problem. If you drive you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.
    Yes indeed, but someone who he might/could hit in that giant SUV doesn't deserve it. So it is a good thing you helped get him off the road.

    Maybe someone should inform those who'd be interested in towing his SUV of his parking job so as to speed up the "morning after" fun.

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Go shit in his gas tank.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  13. #13
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    Lmfao......hahaa

  14. #14
    Good Enough vhrocker's Avatar
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    01.21.15 @ 08:57 AM
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    Call the cops and have him arrested for being drunk in public.
    ALEX IS GOD!!!

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  15. #15
    Atomic Punk
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    Calling the police was the intitial plan. The problem is that as he was checking in I was deluged with check-ins and people who were lost (my other problem with mankind), since I was alone I had to deal with them first. Once he's in the room he's not a problem. By the time I'd dealt with everything he was in his room. If he had actually driven off to go somewhere I would have called the PD with his vehicle licence number and name.

    He's actually the quietest guest I have right now. It's a big event weekend so I'm super-wired. Phone ringing, people coming in and out and so on.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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