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  1. #1
    On Fire VAVH's Avatar
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    07.10.16 @ 08:46 AM
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    Default LA WEEKLY (NOT WITH EDDIE) SAD BUT TRUE

    On a recent morning, as I was driving my beloved to work in Century City from North Hollywood, we stopped at a gas station on the corner of Coldwater and Ventura to load up on supplies (coffee, smokes, Bratz press-on tattoos, etc.) before heading up the canyon to parts better known and vastly overpriced.

    Tapping my toe to the hottest of Hindi hits lilting softly through the burnt-coffee-scented air, I noticed a small commotion at the front of the line. What I saw was a frail, hunched man, with longish, stringy hair and gnarled, shaky, “hard work” hands, wearing a loose-fitting long-john shirt, faded jeans and expensive track shoes. While the cashier waited, the man muttered to himself as he arranged six packs of smokes into a stack on the countertop — three packs of American Spirit heavies, three packs of Marlboro Light 100s (the chica smoke of choice). He was too well dressed to be a bum, but also too unkempt and “lived in” to be anything other than a burned-out roadie or an out-of-work roofer. He’d obviously seen too many late nights, but he also seemed like a scrappy sort who could mix it up, work with his hands, create... Hmmm... What’s this Hessian dude’s deal? And what’s with the smoke stacking, you goddamn smoke stacker?

    As I watched him futz around with the cigs and thought to myself, “This is one chain-smoking mother fucker,” he turned his head to the side, giving me a brief glimpse of his profile. All at once, I realized that he looked very familiar, like an old friend who didn’t look the way I remembered but was still very recognizable based on a strong memory deeply rooted in the lizard brain of my youth. Then it hit me, like the first strains of “Runnin’ With the Devil,” the midpoint of “Eruption,” the last note of “Ice Cream Man.”

    This was Eddie Van Halen.

    Muttering to himself. Stuffing change into his wallet with shaky, gnarled, hard-work hands. Stacking six packs of smokes on a countertop. Two brands. Three a piece.

    This was Eddie Van Halen, my first guitar hero, the blistering virtuoso with the striped guitar, the fuel behind the first great American arena-rock supergroup.

    Eddie Van Halen, the musical whiz who was described as “coming from a planet where everyone plays guitar.” The guy who taught us about the “hammer on” move and the tremolo, and who took fretwork to a whole new stratosphere — or maybe just back to the planet he came from. The icon who invented the tennis-racket air guitarist. The effortless genius who grinned that laconic, dopey grin while blowing the doors off of guitar convention when not blowing the embryonic matter off of MTV. The man who married childhood boner queen Valerie Bertinelli.

    The guy we all once knew as just “Eddie.”

    And now here he was, at 9 a.m. in the Valley, gathering up his smokes and shuffling past me, eyes down, smelling of three-day-old liquor, and out the door to the dirty Toyota Land Cruiser, and the young, moderately pretty woman (certainly no boner queen) who waited for him behind the wheel, smoking her long, chica Marlboro Light 100 and yammering into her cell phone. Didn’t she know who this was? He’s a Guitar God, you jabbering skank! Pay some respect and at least open the door for this faded titan.

    But she didn’t pay respect, nor did she even notice as my boyhood hero walked to the front of the Land Cruiser, banged his head a few times on the thin metal hood, and then mock collapsed, before slogging wearily to the passenger door, as if it was all too much effort. Like he was exhausted from the smoke stacking, from the journey, from the memories of what he once was and what he will never get to be again.

    By this time, I stopped looking, for maybe the same reason that Eddie’s female friend stopped looking, as we all want to remember our Gods and Monsters the way we did as children, when all seemed possible, and men could be made giants, and giants into the infinite.

    I didn’t even look to see where he went, or in which direction, because I already knew, and didn’t need to know the truth. At least not this time.

    Not with Eddie.
    Andrew -"People within the industry often have colorful descriptions when talking about Dave".
    Sammy- "He's wacky man…he's as wacky as a motherfucker…but at least you know what you get". Melodicrock interview with Sammy 08/2006

  2. #2
    On Fire VAVH's Avatar
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    Andrew -"People within the industry often have colorful descriptions when talking about Dave".
    Sammy- "He's wacky man…he's as wacky as a motherfucker…but at least you know what you get". Melodicrock interview with Sammy 08/2006

  3. #3
    Hot For Teacher mikewails's Avatar
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    05.07.12 @ 07:19 PM
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    Default

    GOD DAMMIT!! ENOUGH!!!!!!!!
    MTV ruined music!

  4. #4
    Hang 'Em High James in New York's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 07:45 AM
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    Default

    HE was probably up all night playing and writing and tired and ready for bed...

    We ALL have mornings like that
    or much worse

    late nights

    its just LA weekly doesnt write about ours...


    Silly...

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! jimmy's Avatar
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    04.29.16 @ 07:05 AM
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    neat read....I think the part about Ed getting in a Toyota is total BULLSHIT......the rest I beleive.
    Actually I think most of us are Dave, Sam, and Mike fans. There's just a small group of people who have strange allegiances and like to get into petty pissing contests that I can't believe everyone on this site isn't bored of. - Brett

  6. #6
    On Fire VAVH's Avatar
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    07.10.16 @ 08:46 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy View Post
    neat read....I think the part about Ed getting in a Toyota is total BULLSHIT......the rest I beleive.
    Well after all it was a Land Cruiser not a Celica...
    Andrew -"People within the industry often have colorful descriptions when talking about Dave".
    Sammy- "He's wacky man…he's as wacky as a motherfucker…but at least you know what you get". Melodicrock interview with Sammy 08/2006

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk
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    12.23.16 @ 10:32 AM
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    Donor

    Default

    Believable except this part: "expensive track shoes"
    Last edited by Greenpaw; 01.10.07 at 08:25 PM. Reason: missed Jimmy's sarcasm....it's late, cut me some slack :)

  8. #8
    Good Enough
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    12.09.17 @ 09:22 AM
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    Default

    Oh... maaaaaaaaaaan.....
    Sings like a bird. Rocks like a pig.

  9. #9
    Good Enough
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    12.12.17 @ 09:12 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy View Post
    neat read....I think the part about Ed getting in a Toyota is total BULLSHIT......the rest I beleive.
    maybe it was his girlfriends, or the driver's...assuming that wasn't his GF?
    SOME VH LINKS CLASSICS


    "Sammy is fat, Dave is bald, Mike is next in line to be the Pope, Eddie is a drunk, Wolfie is fat, Gary is gay, CVH is VH, Mike is VH, Sammy can outsing Dave on a tequilla hangover, Eddie is a meth head, How Many Say I is the worst VH song ever, Up for Breakfast is a close second, Dave was horrible at radio and everybody hates the assless chaps.
    Ok I think that covers everything." Ziggysmalls

    "I sense that some of our newer passengers may be nervous due to the sudden turbulence. Please be seated, this is simply a normal part of the periodic ride.
    I didn't say we'll get to the destination, but until Alex comes out a says what a complete waste of carbon DLR is, we're still climbing, so strap yourselves in.
    Those of you who have been on this ride before, the hottie in the mini will be around shortly with your drinks......." Red

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! jimmy's Avatar
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    04.29.16 @ 07:05 AM
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    Could be that Ed was just returning from a morning run with Al's son.....
    Actually I think most of us are Dave, Sam, and Mike fans. There's just a small group of people who have strange allegiances and like to get into petty pissing contests that I can't believe everyone on this site isn't bored of. - Brett

  11. #11
    Sinner's Swing! jimmy's Avatar
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    04.29.16 @ 07:05 AM
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    FYI - I was joking about the Toyota thingy....
    Actually I think most of us are Dave, Sam, and Mike fans. There's just a small group of people who have strange allegiances and like to get into petty pissing contests that I can't believe everyone on this site isn't bored of. - Brett

  12. #12
    Good Enough
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    12.09.17 @ 09:22 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by belikemike View Post
    maybe it was his girlfriends, or the driver's...assuming that wasn't his GF?

    Guys - I think jimmy is being a smart ass...
    Sings like a bird. Rocks like a pig.

  13. #13
    Good Enough
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    12.12.17 @ 09:12 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy View Post
    FYI - I was joking about the Toyota thingy....
    ok -- you got me
    SOME VH LINKS CLASSICS


    "Sammy is fat, Dave is bald, Mike is next in line to be the Pope, Eddie is a drunk, Wolfie is fat, Gary is gay, CVH is VH, Mike is VH, Sammy can outsing Dave on a tequilla hangover, Eddie is a meth head, How Many Say I is the worst VH song ever, Up for Breakfast is a close second, Dave was horrible at radio and everybody hates the assless chaps.
    Ok I think that covers everything." Ziggysmalls

    "I sense that some of our newer passengers may be nervous due to the sudden turbulence. Please be seated, this is simply a normal part of the periodic ride.
    I didn't say we'll get to the destination, but until Alex comes out a says what a complete waste of carbon DLR is, we're still climbing, so strap yourselves in.
    Those of you who have been on this ride before, the hottie in the mini will be around shortly with your drinks......." Red

  14. #14
    Sinner's Swing! jimmy's Avatar
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    04.29.16 @ 07:05 AM
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    As a true fan of the band, I want to cringe with every word of that article, but I've become so cynical at this point, sarcasm seems to keep me from cyrin'.
    Actually I think most of us are Dave, Sam, and Mike fans. There's just a small group of people who have strange allegiances and like to get into petty pissing contests that I can't believe everyone on this site isn't bored of. - Brett

  15. #15
    On Fire VAVH's Avatar
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    07.10.16 @ 08:46 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by jimmy View Post
    FYI - I was joking about the Toyota thingy....
    YOU REALLY GOT ME ON THAT ONE
    Andrew -"People within the industry often have colorful descriptions when talking about Dave".
    Sammy- "He's wacky man…he's as wacky as a motherfucker…but at least you know what you get". Melodicrock interview with Sammy 08/2006

 

 

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