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  1. #1
    Little Dreamer
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    I have only had the pleasure to see Dave live once (on the Sam/Dave tour). He obviously likes to hear himself talk. I remember he was trying to pick up a hottie in the front row after like the 2nd song. After the 4th song, he walks back over to her and says, "Hey I remember you from 2 songs ago!" What are the funniest things you have heard Dave say (in concert, interview, etc.)? Thanks!

  2. #2
    On Fire
    Join Date
    12.20.02
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    41
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    Galveston Island (2 miles south of TEXAS)
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    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning
    Favorite VH Song

    sinners swing
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    04.21.16 @ 04:41 PM
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    I saw Dave in Dallas when he did a 5 city club tour before the Your Filthy Little Mouth tour started. The spot-light guy kept loosing Dave, so Dave introduces him to the crowd as the spot-light guy who worked Pearl Harbor.
    "The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit." -David Lee Roth

  3. #3
    Rock the Orange!!! Buschman's Avatar
    Join Date
    07.23.02
    Age
    40
    Location
    Annapolis, MD
    Posts
    5,370
    Favorite VH Album

    F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    W/O U, WIL, & HFT
    Last Online

    09.27.16 @ 08:36 AM
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    Premium Member

    Donor

    baronpic,

    You probably were at the same show as I was (Nissan Pavilion). I remember Dave calling her a slut trying to get her to show her ta-ta's, but Dave's charming attitude didn't work. I did like his Jack-off on the crowd though. Dave being the classic Diamond One.

    Sammy on the other hand got several women to flash him, even his waitresses on stage. [img]graemlins/thumb.gif[/img]
    Rock the Orange!!!

    "Give Doc the shotgun. They're less apt to get nervy if he's on the street howitzer."

    "Dying ain't much of a living, boy."

    Save a Terrapin - Fear a Turtle

  4. #4
    Romeo Delight
    Join Date
    09.24.02
    Age
    32
    Location
    Australia
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    53
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    In a Simple Rhyme
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    02.06.06 @ 07:02 AM
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    thing is he says/does pretty much the same thing at every show the whole "whoever through a water balloon up on stage / squirted water on me i'm gonna fuck your g/f" thing kinda pissed me off after a while ..

    not saying it wasn't classic maybe i just own too many boots

    that pearl harbour one is classic though i laughed real hard at that !

    i laughed in the indianapolis 84 show when he goes "who's bra is this" or something and then he goes "can't be yours ed this ones too big to be valeries"

    hehe

  5. #5
    Hot For Teacher Ineedalogin's Avatar
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    06.02.02
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    Michigan
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    Favorite VH Album

    OU812
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
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    09.15.16 @ 12:31 PM
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    Actually, I've seen Dave many times (both with & without VH). I said long ago, Dave needs a new joke writer. He says & does the same stuff at each show. Examples:

    - "This ain't the real me. The real me is backstage fucking your girlfriend."

    - "Don't stick your tongue out unless you intend to use it."

    The "jacking off a bottle of Jack Daniels" act is also getting a little stale. It was funny back in 1984 when I was 14. Now I'm 33, and it's just plain annoying.

  6. #6
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    02.12.03
    Age
    40
    Location
    Budapest
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    6
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Feel Your Love Tonight
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    I read somewhere the following, which is also my signature down here anyway, but I think it's funny if you visualise him actually doing it! [img]smile.gif[/img]
    I also agree with this one: "People, who say money can't buy you happiness, didn't know where to shop!"
    "I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling outta my glass." Diamond Dave

  7. #7
    Hot For Teacher Ineedalogin's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.02.02
    Location
    Michigan
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    314
    Favorite VH Album

    OU812
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    Humans Being
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    09.15.16 @ 12:31 PM
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    Originally posted by Needle:
    I read somewhere the following, which is also my signature down here anyway, but I think it's funny if you visualise him actually doing it! [img]smile.gif[/img]
    I also agree with this one: "People, who say money can't buy you happiness, didn't know where to shop!"
    He's said many variations of it in the past. The one I remember is:
    "Money may not buy you happiness. But you can buy a big enough boat so you can sail right up next to it."

  8. #8
    Good Enough ebmm_axis's Avatar
    Join Date
    07.26.02
    Posts
    2,434
    Favorite VH Album

    All of 'em
    Favorite VH Song

    All of 'em
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    07.30.15 @ 07:53 AM
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    Donor

    Phoenix, AZ, the EEAS tour.

    DLR: "What's loud and has four, big assholes?"
    Answer: "Van Halen"

    A lot of people booed.
    You can lead a horse to water, but that still won't make him a duck!

  9. #9
    Little Dreamer
    Join Date
    04.30.02
    Age
    48
    Location
    scotland
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    18
    Favorite VH Album

    fair warning
    Favorite VH Song

    so this is love
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    12.31.69 @ 04:00 PM
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    "what your gonna see on the stage is what your gonna see under the stage!". "a lot of people when talking about music say, they want to go back to the begining or go back to the grass roots personally, a just wanna get back to the hotel room". "theres a lot of great ways of having fun without even smiling at all"

  10. #10
    Top Of The World
    Join Date
    01.18.03
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    USA
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    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    So This Is Love?
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    07.06.05 @ 05:12 PM
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    "I think we should nuke the whales!" DLR
    Buttocks and crotches and nipples with wings, these are a few of my favorite things!

 

 

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