Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    Romeo Delight
    Join Date
    03.18.04
    Age
    45
    Location
    toledo, OH
    Posts
    93
    Favorite VH Album

    villains
    Favorite VH Song

    cup of tea
    Last Online

    08.13.09 @ 01:54 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default 7 year old won't sleep all night

    hi folks. i'm the proud dad two young gals (7 and 4) both of whom are great kids. here's the issue: for the last eight months or so, my 7 year old wakes up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. she doesn't have bad dreams or anything but is absolutely scared to be in her bedroom. she will either end up in bed with me and mom (my wife) or on the couch (to be near us) in the adjacent living room. she is absolutely petrified if we try to take her back up to her room in the middle of the night. we have tried everything to get her to stay in her bed at night, including the following:

    -walk her back up to her room

    -explain how 'safe' our house is

    -turned all the lights on in her room (so it's bright)

    -rearranged her room to accomdate her preferred layout

    -used incentives, such as sticker charts, to get a prize at the end of the week.

    -positive reinforcement for 'near' success (she has had zero nights in her bed since the problem happened).

    we cannot remember anything that happened to cause this. after the above trials, we are at the end of our rope and are about to resort to punishment if she doesn't show progress. i hate to ever use any form of negative reinforcement but i feel we've exhausted all options.

    any advice would be grateful!

    thanks,

    jay

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.03.03
    Age
    32
    Location
    Newcastle, Great North of England
    Posts
    10,095
    Last Online

    07.05.17 @ 10:26 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    I would never use a punishment, mate. Not until you consult with therapists about the matter and they say everything's fine with your daughter. When I was 5-ish/6-ish my parents moved me to a sepparate room and all I recall is myself being scared as hell, the difference was my dad had been telling me what in adults language would be translated as "be a man don't be a pussy", or something. I grew over being scared, alas my problems didn't go away along with it.

  3. #3
    Good Enough weesfreewheelin's Avatar
    Join Date
    08.08.02
    Location
    Charlotte NC
    Posts
    2,060
    Favorite VH Song

    Ain\'t talkin bout love
    Last Online

    07.19.17 @ 06:26 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 30 Times in 12 Posts

    Default

    Take away nap time maybe?
    Know Roth
    Know Van Halen

    No Roth
    No Van Halen

  4. #4
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,679
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 06:29 PM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,348 Times in 925 Posts

    Default

    That would drive me nuts. All my children seem to be afraid of a good night's sleep. I have a 14 year-old that thinks people are weird if they like their room dark and quiet, a 10 year-old that does ok going to sleep, but still frequently pushes himself beyond the time when he should be thinking about getting sleep (or gets up too early). Then there's my 7 year old, who announced maybe when he was 3 or 4 "I don't sleep very good". He gets that from me - it's hard for him to fall asleep and he's been known to get up in the middle of the night and start playing. Even him and the 10 year old getting up at 5 in the morning to play f'ing video games. Your problem sounds a little different.

    The only thing I can think of is maybe your wife sleeping in the girl's room with her for a few nights?

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.22.04
    Location
    Cols, OH
    Posts
    5,420
    Last Online

    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
    Likes
    2
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Sounds like a tough one to figure out. When you talk to her the next day, what is she saying exactly that is making her afraid? When you say you have the room bright, do you mean when you try to put her back in the room you turn on the lights so she can see everything is okay or are you meaning that you have left a light on all night?

    Here are a couple of things I used. There is a wonderful book called The Underbed. It's a book that gives kids control to scare away the monster under the bed. The other is maybe the 7 and 4 yr old sharing a bed? When it storms, I let the kids sleep together. Maybe having her little sister in the room might make her feel better.

    I would also try calling your pediatrician. Perhaps they can suggest some other strategies or provide insight as to other causes.

  6. #6
    Good Enough BottomzUp's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.28.04
    Age
    48
    Location
    The Sunshine State
    Posts
    1,602
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Too many!
    Last Online

    03.12.07 @ 01:18 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    My little girl was an angel and slept though the night starting at 8 months. THEN came my little boy! He spent the first few years HAVING to go to sleep with mommy and it didn't get any better until we used blackmail. We did all of the reassuring he's safe, leaving a light on etc. We came to realize that he did it primarily because he KNEW he could. To make a long story short, we used things he loves as motivation. We had tickets to go see Motocross races and told him that only 'big boys' can go to the races and big boys stay in their bed. He also likes going to the park up the street to play baseball and we used that as well. He started staying in his room through the night immediately. Of course every child is different so there are NO sure things. With Ty we just found that using priviledges or special treats as motivation worked well.

    GOOD LUCK! I mean that! I know this stuff isn't easy.
    "Maybe I was the only one, but I really felt like we could surprise these guys. Obviously, that was not the case."

    Brett Favre 09/10/06

    http://www.myspace.com/lionzrule

  7. #7
    Romeo Delight
    Join Date
    01.05.02
    Location
    Scotland
    Posts
    68
    Last Online

    11.28.16 @ 02:14 PM
    Likes
    1
    Liked 12 Times in 7 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by the insider
    hi folks. i'm the proud dad two young gals (7 and 4) both of whom are great kids. here's the issue: for the last eight months or so, my 7 year old wakes up in the middle of the night for no apparent reason. she doesn't have bad dreams or anything but is absolutely scared to be in her bedroom. she will either end up in bed with me and mom (my wife) or on the couch (to be near us) in the adjacent living room. she is absolutely petrified if we try to take her back up to her room in the middle of the night. we have tried everything to get her to stay in her bed at night, including the following:

    -walk her back up to her room

    -explain how 'safe' our house is

    -turned all the lights on in her room (so it's bright)

    -rearranged her room to accomdate her preferred layout

    -used incentives, such as sticker charts, to get a prize at the end of the week.

    -positive reinforcement for 'near' success (she has had zero nights in her bed since the problem happened).

    we cannot remember anything that happened to cause this. after the above trials, we are at the end of our rope and are about to resort to punishment if she doesn't show progress. i hate to ever use any form of negative reinforcement but i feel we've exhausted all options.

    any advice would be grateful!

    thanks,

    jay
    Try playing Van Hagar music in her room overnight...

  8. #8
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.27.05
    Age
    35
    Location
    To Hell and back ~ 26.2 miles
    Posts
    3,515
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen
    Favorite VH Song

    Mean Street
    Last Online

    04.01.11 @ 07:59 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Hmmmmmmmm. Ok, BottomzUp is absolutely correct in that she is doing this because she can. You've stated that there's no detectable reason for this behavior. You've tried all the positive incentives and nothing has worked. Let me describe to you what went on with my son. Maybe it will help.

    The boy was 3 and I was very pregnant with the girl. He kept getting up at night and I didn't get enough sleep as it was. So one night after repeated attempts to reason with him, I laid down the law. I put him to bed like normal and held the door shut for 8 hours. Yes. EIGHT hours straight, sitting on the floor in front of his door with my arm over my head holding the door knob tight. I talked to him thru the door explaining to him what I expected of him and that he was safe and just fine, and that I was right there. He beat on that door and yelled and cried and pleaded and cajoled for the entire time. Talk about a battle of wills. And that is exactly what it was, a battle of wills. Either I was going to win and we'd have peace each night, or he would win and I'd never be able to make demands of him again. I'd lose my credibility. Kids constantly test limits. They need to know that you love them enough to set boundaries. Anyway, I let him out when he insisted he had to pee, then he went right back in and I held that door. The next night we did the same dance, only it was only for a few hours. The third night it was just a few times that I had to threaten to hold the door shut. It was never a problem after that. Now, you can only pull this if you know the child is truly safe in their room, not truly afraid, and that they are in fact merely manipulating you. I must say, each of those mornings when I showered him with love, he did not hate me as I had worried. Good luck.
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
    False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil.
    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
    www.myspace.com/getracefan8

  9. #9
    Eruption markp's Avatar
    Join Date
    11.20.03
    Location
    San Mateo, CA
    Posts
    1,079
    Favorite VH Album

    1984
    Favorite VH Song

    Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love
    Last Online

    06.08.17 @ 10:06 AM
    Likes
    7
    Liked 6 Times in 2 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Do you guys send her to her room for punishment? It could be the problem.

    I read somewhere years ago that you shouldn't send kids to their own room for timeouts etc. because they can start to hate their room altogether. We try and follow that advise with our own daughter and will typically send her to our room or the family room (silent) instead. When I notice her not playing in her room from time to time, we'll call family nights in there - play games, build sleeping tents (with blankets), and eat snacks. She begs us sometimes to have a family night in there.

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.15.01
    Age
    42
    Location
    Surf City, USA
    Posts
    8,033
    Last Online

    07.24.15 @ 10:25 PM
    Likes
    10
    Liked 10 Times in 3 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    play VHIII for her and she'll be asleep in no time.

  11. #11
    Eruption te5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.17.03
    Location
    Arizona
    Posts
    1,388
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Last Online

    09.24.13 @ 12:08 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    Hey Jay:

    I can't find in your post why this is an issue. During nights when she moves to the couch, does she wake you first? If not, I'd let it pass.

    In other words, don't make it a battle of wills if it doesn't need to be. Tell her it's OK to sleep on the couch. Tell her it's OK to sleep on the floor in the hall. Lock your bedroom door and tell her she can sleep on the kitchen table if that's where she feels safe.

    We did this with our 5 year old. After a couple of weeks of sleeping everywhere in the house (except our bed), he ended up deciding his mattress was the softest and best place. No screaming, no arguing. He figured it out when we gave him space to do it.

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Sleep Apnea
    By voivod in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 08.08.09, 08:08 PM
  2. I just had to put Abby (my dog) to sleep.
    By OLO in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 53
    Last Post: 04.17.06, 10:05 AM
  3. Well We Can All Sleep A Little Better Now.
    By Axxman300 in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10.13.05, 10:23 PM
  4. Can't Sleep
    By Betty Boop in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 04.24.02, 07:17 AM
  5. I love to sleep
    By lawchick in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 08.13.01, 10:28 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •