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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    Default What? No Post About Screech's Sex Tape? There Is Now.

    I'm not posting a link. I just thought some of you neede to know about it, God knows why.

    Personally, I don't know what's more disturbing, Screech having a sex tape or that it's also a three-way.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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  2. #2
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Uh...what's the gender make-up of the three-way?
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  3. #3
    Niners Fan! SactoFan's Avatar
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    What's a screech?
    Can't stop...addicted to the shindig...

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk WinterlessIceness's Avatar
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    Samuel Powers.

  5. #5
    Good Enough
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig
    Uh...what's the gender make-up of the three-way?
    Apparently, it's a 3-way with two chicks and, allegedly, features....a Dirty Sanchez! See below from NY Daily News:

    Porn star's name
    may ring a 'Bell'






    Sex education Dustin (Screech) Diamond will be appearing in a way many of his fans hoped never ever to see him.

    He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom "Saved by the Bell." But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

    Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

    We can't get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a "Dirty Sanchez."

    Phoenix-based agent David Hans Schmidt, who has brokered some of Hollywood's biggest celebrity-skin deals, confirms that he's acquired the rights to a tape featuring Diamond.

    "Just when you think you have seen everything in this business," he tells us, "mankind has raised the bar another notch. Or lowered it."

    Schmidt is in L.A., shopping the tape to Hustler's Larry Flynt, Vivid's Steven Hirsch and other major distributors of adult video.

    Now age 29, the 6-foot Diamond is much brawnier than you may remember him. He's a black belt in karate, and, four years ago, he defeated Ron Palillo (Horshack on "Welcome Back, Kotter") on Fox's "Celebrity Boxing 2."

    Diamond's manager, Roger Paul, said his client has become a successful standup comic and will appear on the ABC sitcom "The Knights of Prosperity."

    "I haven't seen the tape," Paul told us. "I've heard rumors. Dustin has been trying to escape the Screech typecast. So this may help me get more bookings."

    In 1996, former "Saved by the Bell" sweetheart Elizabeth Berkley bared all in the Paul Verhoeven-Joe Eszterhas trashterpiece, "Show Girls."

    The sex vid's working title is "Saved by the Smell." Ewwwww.
    http://www.myspace.com/pennydreadfulnj

    “…and that’s when I learned that waterskiing and Quaaludes do not mix.”

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  6. #6
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Default

    Thanks for the tip.

    Well, I "googled" the term "Dirty Sanchez". I now wish that I had not.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

  7. #7
    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig
    Thanks for the tip.

    Well, I "googled" the term "Dirty Sanchez". I now wish that I had not.
    Well, in that case, chef, I won't mention the dreaded "Hot Carl"....

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Red
    Well, in that case, chef, I won't mention the dreaded "Hot Carl"....
    Is that anything like a "Chicago Hot Plate", aka "Cleveland Steamer". Don't forget the "Rusty Trombone".
    http://www.myspace.com/pennydreadfulnj

    “…and that’s when I learned that waterskiing and Quaaludes do not mix.”

    - Dewey Cox

  9. #9
    Hot sauce on everything Red's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Otis5150
    Is that anything like a "Chicago Hot Plate", aka "Cleveland Steamer". Don't forget the "Rusty Trombone".
    I really need to find a good church.

  10. #10
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
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    heres a little glossary for everyone to enjoy. The Dirty Sanchez, Etc.

    Here is a fairly extensive compilation of some of the

    extraordinary sexual activities that can be performed by men:

    1. Hot Lunch - While receiving head from a woman, you proceed

    to shit on her chest. (A.k.a. the Cleveland Steamer)

    2. The Stranger - Sitting on your hand until it falls asleep

    and then jerking off, eliciting the feeling of a hand job from someone else.

    3. Western Grip- When jerking off, turn your hand around, so

    that your thumb is facing towards you. It is the same grip that rodeo folks use. Hence, western.

    4. The Blumpkin- You need to find a real tramp to do this

    right. It involves having her sucking you off while you are on the shitter.

    5. Donkey Punch - Banging a girl doggy style and then moments

    before you cum, sticking your dick in her ass, and then punching her in the

    back of the head. This gives a tremendous sensation, but for it to work correctly,

    the girl must be knocked out so that her asshole tightens up.

    6. Golden Shower - Any form of pissing all over a chick (a.k.a.- watersports)

    7. Pearl Necklace - Well known. Whenever you cum on the

    neck/cleavage area of a girl - it takes on the look of beautiful jewelry.

    8. Coyote - This occurs when you wake up in the room of a nasty

    wombat and you know you've got to give her the slip. However,

    you realize that your arm is wrapped around her. Therefore you must

    gnaw off your own arm to get out of the situation. Can be very painful.

    9. Purple Mushroom - This occurs when a woman is giving you

    oral sex and you withdraw your penis in order to poke it back into her cheek.

    It should leave a lasting impression similar to purple mushroom.

    10. The Flying Camel - A personal favorite. As she is lying on her back and you are hammering her from your knees, you carefully balance yourself without using your arms to prop yourself up. You then proceed to flap your arms and let out a long, shrieking howl, much like a coyote. Strictly a class move.

    11. Fishhook - A variation of the shocker in which you pull

    back towards the pussy after you stick your finger up her anus.

    12. The Ram - Again, you're attacking from behind, when you

    start ramming her head against the wall in a rhythmic motion. The

    force of the wall should allow for deeper penetration. Very handy for those lulls in penile sensitivity.

    13. Bismarck- This is another one involving oral sex. Right before

    you are about to cum, you pull out, shooting your load all over her face. Follow that with a punch and smear the blood and cum together.

    14. Jelly Dougnut: A derivation of the Bismark. All you have to

    do is punch her in the nose while you are getting head.

    15. The Woody Woodpecker: When a girl is sucking on your balls,

    tap the head of your cock on her forehead.

    16. Dog in a Bathtub - This is a proper name for when you

    attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it

    can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.

    17. Tossing Salad - Another prison act where one person is

    forced to basically chow asshole with the help of whatever condiments are

    available, i.e. Jell-O, olive oil, etc. I'm never going to prison.

    18. Rim Job: Another name for tossing salad. Focuses on the use

    of the tongue.

    19. The Bucking Bronco- An all time classic. You start by going
    doggy style on a girl and then just when she is really enjoying it, you grab onto her tits or hips as tightly as possible and call her a big fat no-good worthless slob. More than likely, she will try to escape. This will give you the feeling of riding a bronco as she tries to buck you off.

    20. Pink glove - This frequently happens during sex when a girl is not wet enough.
    When you pull out to give her money, the inside of her twat sticks to your hog. Thus, the pink glove.

    21. The Fountain of You - While sitting on her face and having
    her eat your ass, jerk off like a madman. Build up as much pressure

    as possible before releasing, spewing like a venerable geyser all

    over her face, neck and tits. (Better in her bed).

    22. New York Style Taco - Anytime when you are so drunk that

    when you go down, you boot on her box. Happy trails.

    23. The Dirty Sanchez - A time honored event in which while

    laying the bone doggie style, you insert Your finger into said woman's asshole, pull it out, wipe it across her upper lip leaving a thin, shit moustache. This makes her look like someone whose name would be Dirty Sanchez.

    24. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her

    ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed

    winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.

    25. Tuna Melt - You're down on a chick lapping away and

    discover that it just happens to be the time of the month. By no means do you

    stop though. When the whale spews, tartar sauce with a hint of raspberry

    smothers your face.

    26. Fur Ball - You're chomping away at some mighty trollop who

    has a mane between her legs the size of Lionel Richie's Afro, when a mammoth fur ball gets lodged in your throat and causes you to beat the piss out of her.

    27. The ChiliDog - You take a shit on a girl's tits and then

    proceed to titty fuck her.

    28. Gaylord Perry: Going to only one knuckle during an anal

    probe is for wimps. Make this famous knuckle ball pitcher proud and use multiple

    knuckles on that virgin corn hole. A minimum of two knuckles required (either

    on one finger or on multiple).

    29. Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chic from

    behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to

    anythingwhen she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside

    so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.

    30. Glass Bottom Boat: Putting saran wrap over your partners

    face and proceeding to lay a hot shit there.

    31. Ray-Bans: Put your testicles over her eye sockets while

    getting head.

    (Picture it: ass on forhead) It may be anatomically impossible,

    but it is definitely worth a try.

    32. Snowmobile: Always a blast. When getting a girl while she's

    on all fours, sweep out her arms so she falls on her face.

    33. Dutch Oven: Rather simple. Whenever you bust ass while in

    the sack pull the covers over both of your head so she can enjoy your pork and beans as well.
    """"\//-/""""


    The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!


    www.myspace.com/mikesisca

    "If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday an actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even." T.RYAN, sharing thoughts on valentine's day.

    " SHUT UP, FAGGOT." - Vinnie Velvet, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    DIRTY SANCHEZ- It's not just for breakfast anymore!



    “ Originally posted by FORD
    History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
    (See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) ” FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk
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    Diamond in the Buff
    Wonder if his wife knows...



    Also, he's trying way too hard to save his house...
    Last edited by voivod; 09.29.06 at 01:50 PM.
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  12. #12
    Baluchitherium Mikey Metalhead's Avatar
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    this one made me laugh... im going to hell

    29. Rear Admiral: An absolute blast. When getting a chic from

    behind (while both partners standing), make sure you don't let her grab on to

    anythingwhen she is bent over. Then, drive your hips into her backside

    so that you end up pushing her forward. The goal is to push her into a wall or table. It's almost as much fun to have her trip on her face on the floor. You become an Admiral when you can push her around the room without crashing into anything and not using your hands to grab onto her hips.
    Last edited by Mikey Metalhead; 09.29.06 at 02:30 PM.
    I SURVIVED TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND I, II, III, IV and VI and VII.barely made it to VIII time to slow down
    I musta had a broken middle finger for V
    http://www.youtube.com/user/daneph

  13. #13
    Damage your reputation seenbad's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 06:15 PM
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    Damn...that shits nasty. People are horrible. The only one I've done there I think is the woody woodpecker.
    sheepa latta peepah dabba looka foh a moopy

    Gunter glieben glauchen globen

  14. #14
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    Default

    Holy shit! This one just about killed me!

    24. The Fish Eye - From behind, you shove your finger in her ass (or his if you are in prison). Thereupon she turns around in a one-eyed winking motion to see what the hell you are doing.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  15. #15
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    Default

    I can't believe just the fact they are "getting some" isn't enough for some people. Especially can't believe all the ones involving feces and urine and punching. What the fuck is wrong with people?

 

 

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