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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    Default Papa Simpson has a new plan to pimp out his offspring.

    Papa Joe's been on a tear this week, looking to maximize the profitability of his daughters in hopes of opening his own bronzer and hair frosting hall of fame.

    For most dads, vacation pictures are a thing to take home, cherish and look back at every once in a while to reflect on all of the familial adventures. For Papa Joe, they're a business venture. You see, the preacher-turned-manager has a deal with a major photo agency, where he exclusively sells rights to pictures, often titillating ones, of his daughters. He even battles paparazzi at red carpet events and sells his own pictures. Way to go, dad!

    As if that's not bad enough, his latest quest to capitalize on his daughter's money-makers, Simpson's all hopped up on the idea of opening a Daisy Dukes restaurant -- think Hooters, only campier and based on Jessica Simpson's short-shorts movie role.
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
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    If he's gonna do a Daisy Dukes restaurant maybe he should pair it with a Milli-Vanilli Karaoke bar or something.


    It's pathetic to say but everything he has done or is gonna do was gonna be done in some way shape or form by somebody. At least it's being kept in the family so dim-wit & lip-synch have a better chance of not having to do playboy until they're 50 or so.
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  3. #3
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voivod
    As if that's not bad enough, his latest quest to capitalize on his daughter's money-makers, Simpson's all hopped up on the idea of opening a Daisy Dukes restaurant -- think Hooters, only campier and based on Jessica Simpson's short-shorts movie role.
    Whatta mean based on "Jessica's" movie role. Catherine Bach was and is the only Daisy Duke. She created the shorts and the role. Jessica is a no-talent hack. A good-lookin one yeah. But still a hack.
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  4. #4
    Atomic Punk
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    Why not do a promotion with the "Pink Taco" chain instead.

    I dunno about this guy, I have friends with daughters, none of them would start a business based on how great their asses look in tight shorts.

    The fact that Joe is/was a Christian Minister just makes this more than a little wierd. I mean the preacher's daughters were always crazy but the Preacher wasn't joining in on the fun.
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  5. #5
    Atomic Punk fast98dodge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood P.
    Whatta mean based on "Jessica's" movie role. Catherine Bach was and is the only Daisy Duke. She created the shorts and the role. Jessica is a no-talent hack. A good-lookin one yeah. But still a hack.

    I don't know... April Scott is making me forget about Catherine Bach pretty quick...



    Okay, here's your Catherine Bach...



    I'll take April anyday...
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  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
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    Quote Originally Posted by fast98dodge
    Okay, here's your Catherine Bach...

    I'll take April anyday...
    HEY... That's not fair, she was hot back in the day and this picture was taken after she just had a baby, for lunch...
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by voivod
    HEY... That's not fair, she was hot back in the day and this picture was taken after she just had a baby, for lunch...

    Good lord......looks like she consumed and assimilated Kathleen Turner!
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  8. #8
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fast98dodge
    I'll take April anyday...
    Fine, I'll take Catherine B. (circa 1978) over April Scott, she looks like she could use a cheeseburger or 2.
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

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  9. #9
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
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    Man, she has put on a couple of pounds though.
    Last edited by Elwood P.; 09.24.06 at 05:46 AM.
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

    "Kids, just say NO to marriage". (Al Bundy)

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  10. #10
    Atomic Punk fast98dodge's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Elwood P.
    Fine, I'll take Catherine B. (circa 1978) over April Scott, she looks like she could use a cheeseburger or 2.
    I hope she stays away from the cheeseburgers because you see what happened to Catherine Bach...
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  11. #11
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ted Van Halen
    It's pathetic to say but everything he has done...
    was gonna be done in some way shape or form by somebody.
    You could say the same for his daughters...

    And what's up with April Scott's body...is she deformed? Her waist reminds me of a "Stretch Armstrong" doll.
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
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  12. #12
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    I dunno about that Simpson guy. He needs to make dough on his own and quit living off of his daughters. I like those names that someone gave them earlier in the thread. Definitely appropriate.

    And the original Daisy will do just fine. There's only one Daisy Duke.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

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  13. #13
    Eruption
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    I'm to the point where who cares what that guy does. His daughters are dumb enough to go along (although they are loaded and I'm broke - so who's dumb?).

    I just hope he convinces them to do Playboy before it's too late.

    Well, I could see Jessica in Playboy.

    Ashlee, she might do something a bit raunchier.

 

 

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