Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 28
  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Age
    49
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    22,946
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
    Likes
    842
    Liked 1,229 Times in 448 Posts

    Default Operation removes lightbulb from anus

    Fateh Mohammad, a prison inmate in Pakistan, says he woke up last weekend with a glass lightbulb in his anus.



    Wednesday night, doctors brought Mohammad's misery to an end after a one-and-a-half hour operation to remove the object.

    "Thanks Allah, now I feel comfort. Today, I had my breakfast. I was just drinking water, nothing else," Mohammad, a grey-beared man in his mid-40s, told Reuters from a hospital bed in the southern central city of Multan.

    "We had to take it out intact," said Dr. Farrukh Aftab at Nishtar Hospital. "Had it been broken inside, it would be a very very complicated situation."

    Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there.

    "When I woke up I felt a pain in my lower abdomen, but later in hospital, they told me this," Mohammad said.

    "I don't know who did this to me. Police or other prisoners."

    The doctor treating Mohammad said he'd never encountered anything like it before, and doubted the felon's story that someone had drugged him and inserted the bulb while he was comatose.
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium Mikey Metalhead's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.25.00
    Age
    53
    Location
    Tx
    Posts
    4,033
    Last Online

    06.12.15 @ 12:43 PM
    Likes
    3
    Liked 5 Times in 4 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    there's an "idea" joke in there somewhere.
    I SURVIVED TEXAS LINKERS WEEKEND I, II, III, IV and VI and VII.barely made it to VIII time to slow down
    I musta had a broken middle finger for V
    http://www.youtube.com/user/daneph

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    01.29.02
    Age
    49
    Location
    somewhere over the rainbow
    Posts
    22,946
    Last Online

    12.11.17 @ 04:37 PM
    Likes
    842
    Liked 1,229 Times in 448 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikey Metalhead
    there's an "idea" joke in there somewhere.
    For sure, butt it would end with a shitty punchline and be a total pain in the ass to make it funny.
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack.” -- Gen. George S. Patton

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    12.25.01
    Age
    53
    Location
    Carmel, Ca
    Posts
    7,954
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    You\'re Kidding,right?
    Last Online

    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mikey Metalhead
    there's an "idea" joke in there somewhere.
    I asked for a BUD lite.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


    My Blog:

    http://axxman300tool.blogspot.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/axxman300

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    12.25.01
    Age
    53
    Location
    Carmel, Ca
    Posts
    7,954
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    You\'re Kidding,right?
    Last Online

    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the bulb was there .
    What the hell does he do that he'd have no idea that there was a light bulb up his ass?

    Me? I like to think I'd know about that kind of thing as it happened.
    Last edited by Axxman300; 06.30.06 at 07:26 PM.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


    My Blog:

    http://axxman300tool.blogspot.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/axxman300

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.09.00
    Age
    45
    Posts
    11,665
    Favorite VH Album

    Van Halen 1
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me A Doctor
    Last Online

    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
    Likes
    45
    Liked 185 Times in 105 Posts

    Default

    How many Muslims does it take to get a light bulb out of someones ass?
    Just go for it!

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.21.03
    Age
    52
    Location
    Mound Valley, Kansas
    Posts
    9,043
    Favorite VH Album

    5150, Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance The Night Away, Dreams
    Last Online

    11.02.17 @ 09:45 PM
    Likes
    37
    Liked 28 Times in 9 Posts

    Default

    Maybe it was there so he could see when he had his head up his ass.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  8. #8
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.13.99
    Age
    49
    Location
    Enumclaw, WA
    Posts
    18,055
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 10:08 PM
    Likes
    91
    Liked 84 Times in 35 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BREW CREW
    How many Muslims does it take to get a light bulb out of someones ass?
    LMFAO!!!
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  9. #9
    Eruption
    Join Date
    09.28.05
    Posts
    1,268
    Last Online

    09.23.13 @ 06:29 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    OMG! LOL!
    These posts were great. I can't stop laughing!

    "How many Muslims does it take to get a light bulb out of someones ass?"

    "Maybe it was there so he could see when he had his head up his ass"

    "What the hell does he do that he'd have no idea that there was a light bulb up his ass? Me? I like to think I'd know about that kind of thing as it happened."

    "For sure, butt it would end with a shitty punchline and be a total pain in the ass to make it funny."

    I wanted to post a smart ass comment myself, no pun intended, but I could never top those!

  10. #10
    Top Of The World van_5150_halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.29.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    163
    Last Online

    05.04.10 @ 09:01 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    60 Watt or 100 Watt? That sick fuck.

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.04
    Age
    48
    Location
    All up in there
    Posts
    4,379
    Favorite VH Album

    Pirates of the Carribean
    Favorite VH Song

    How Many Say Aye?
    Last Online

    12.13.17 @ 10:47 AM
    Likes
    2,296
    Liked 1,625 Times in 871 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by van_5150_halen
    60 Watt or 100 Watt? That sick fuck.


    It was a black light.
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

  12. #12
    Good Enough avhevhmashdlr's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.28.04
    Age
    29
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,127
    Favorite VH Album

    Women and Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me a Doctor
    Last Online

    03.10.14 @ 08:22 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    funny guys....


    maybe its true you can see the light at the end of the tunnel....
    [On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
    The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
    "I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
    "I'm just trying to figure out why you don’t have any clothes on," the deputy said.

    "Me too," Krauss replied.

    "Don’t forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"

  13. #13
    Top Of The World van_5150_halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    09.29.04
    Age
    47
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    163
    Last Online

    05.04.10 @ 09:01 AM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by avhevhmashdlr
    funny guys....


    maybe its true you can see the light at the end of the tunnel....
    nice...

  14. #14
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.13.99
    Age
    49
    Location
    Enumclaw, WA
    Posts
    18,055
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Unchained
    Last Online

    12.12.17 @ 10:08 PM
    Likes
    91
    Liked 84 Times in 35 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by avhevhmashdlr
    funny guys....


    maybe its true you can see the light at the end of the tunnel....
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  15. #15
    Hot For Teacher chas's Avatar
    Join Date
    06.10.04
    Location
    Guam U.S.A.
    Posts
    259
    Favorite VH Album

    The Magnificent 7 & F.U.C.K.
    Favorite VH Song

    at the moment House of Pain
    Last Online

    08.31.15 @ 01:43 PM
    Likes
    1
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    That guy was in the paper, remember? "MAN GANG RAPED, NO INJURIES REPORTED"

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. Operation Mindcrime - Blink182 and Green Day
    By chewbaccamonkeylunch in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Music Only)
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: 05.31.05, 06:56 PM
  2. Massive Attack's 3-D Snared By Child Porn Operation
    By ross in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Music Only)
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02.28.03, 06:36 AM
  3. Operation Kuwaiti Field Chicken (KFC),
    By chewbaccamonkeylunch in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 02.20.03, 11:57 AM
  4. Operation : "Infinite... Silence"
    By Down In Flames in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 28
    Last Post: 10.09.01, 08:01 AM
  5. VH "Operation"
    By kpl in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 10.27.00, 07:11 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •