Follow us on...
Follow us on Twitter Follow us on Facebook Watch us on YouTube
Register
Page 1 of 6 1234 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 76
  1. #1
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.04
    Age
    48
    Location
    All up in there
    Posts
    4,389
    Favorite VH Album

    Pirates of the Carribean
    Favorite VH Song

    How Many Say Aye?
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 12:10 PM
    Likes
    2,308
    Liked 1,627 Times in 873 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default Funny sayings...

    We've got funny pics, stupid jokes, beautiful girls & parental advice. How 'bout some funny sayings. I'll start:

    I'm out w/ some co-workers drinking a while back & one buddy proposes a toast:

    "Here's to the crack that never heals & the more you rub it the better it feels."

    Anybody else?
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing! csm5150's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.04.04
    Age
    46
    Location
    Louisiana
    Posts
    3,094
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Humans Being
    Last Online

    11.25.14 @ 09:53 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts


    Premium Member

    Default

    "Fuck me running" and "Its on like chicken"-Not sure what either of them mean.
    LSU Tigers 2003 & 2007 National Champs
    Detroit Pistons 2004 NBA Champs

    If looks could kill, I'd stare at everybody!

  3. #3
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,686
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 09:38 AM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,351 Times in 927 Posts

    Default

    "I'm off like a prom dress"

    "Your ass is grass (and I'm the mower)"

    "Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke"

    "I did not have sexual relations with that woman"

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.04
    Location
    Secret Witness Protection Location
    Posts
    31,731
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Mike played on
    Favorite VH Song

    Anything Mike played on
    Last Online

    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
    Likes
    34
    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Most of the zingers I've heard have come from my uncle.....

    "I dunno, but I've been told.....Eskimo pussy's mighty cold."

    "Sharp as a marble"

    "Dumber than a box of hair"


    and this gem....

    "You're making about as much sense as an Amish man buying batteries."
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  5. #5
    Baluchitherium Ted Van Halen's Avatar
    Join Date
    01.07.04
    Age
    48
    Location
    All up in there
    Posts
    4,389
    Favorite VH Album

    Pirates of the Carribean
    Favorite VH Song

    How Many Say Aye?
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 12:10 PM
    Likes
    2,308
    Liked 1,627 Times in 873 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    In the same vein as F#&K me running, I'll add:

    "F#&k me to tears"

    "S&%t the bed"

    "Well, as long as your here w/ your teeth in."

    "It runs like a pickle seeder."

    I too am not sure what they mean.


    Ted
    -TVH-


    If there must be trouble, let it be in my day, that my child may have peace. -Thomas Paine


    What is government itself but the greatest of all reflections on human nature? - James Madison


    Any man who thinks he can be happy and prosperous by letting the Government take care of him better take a closer look at the American Indian. - Henry Ford

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
    Join Date
    12.25.01
    Age
    53
    Location
    Carmel, Ca
    Posts
    7,954
    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    You\'re Kidding,right?
    Last Online

    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Default

    Dumb as a bag of hammers.

    Worthless as a Hen with a Flag.

    I'm going to tear you up like Kleenex at a snot party.

    Usless at tits on a warthog.

    She fucks like a Jack Rabbit on acid.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


    My Blog:

    http://axxman300tool.blogspot.com/

    http://www.myspace.com/axxman300

  7. #7
    Good Enough avhevhmashdlr's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.28.04
    Age
    29
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    2,127
    Favorite VH Album

    Women and Children First
    Favorite VH Song

    Somebody Get Me a Doctor
    Last Online

    03.10.14 @ 08:22 PM
    Likes
    0
    Liked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default

    stick your head in between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!
    [On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
    The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
    "I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
    "I'm just trying to figure out why you donít have any clothes on," the deputy said.

    "Me too," Krauss replied.

    "Donít forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"

  8. #8
    Summer Nights in Cabo SNIC's Avatar
    Join Date
    05.21.04
    Age
    48
    Location
    San Antonio, Texas
    Posts
    4,850
    Favorite VH Album

    5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Summer Nights, Cabo Wabo
    Last Online

    10.19.17 @ 06:44 PM
    Likes
    89
    Liked 55 Times in 21 Posts


    Premium Member

    Donor

    Default

    It's hotter than a whore in a pecker patch

    She's finer than frog's hair spilt four ways

    He/she's richer than nine kinds of bull$h1t

    F!#% you and the horse you rode in on

    I wouldn't f!@# her with your d!c#

    Definately Texan sayings it seems...
    Artists I Have Seen: 1D, 38 Special, Aerosmith, Alabama, Bad Company, Bad English, Billy Squire, Bob Seger, Bon Jovi, Boston, BTO, Cheap Trick, Chicago, Chickenfoot, Cinderella, Daughtry, Dave Matthews Band, Default, Def Leppard, Dio, Dokken, Drowning Pool, Eagles, Earth Wind & Fire, Eddie Money, Eric Clapton, Farenheit, Fleetwood Mac, Foreigner, Garth Brooks, George Strait, Glass Tiger, Heart, Huey Lewis and the News, Jackson Browne, Jimmy Buffett, Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, Joe Bonamassa, John Mellencamp, Journey, Keel, Kingdom Come, Kings X, KISS, Kool and the Gang, Krokus, Lionel Richie, Little River Band, Lou Gramm, Loverboy, Los Lonely Boys, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Metallica, Michael Bolton, Nickelback, Night Ranger, Paul Stanley, Peter Frampton, Pink Floyd, Poison, Red Rider, REO Speedwagon, Santana, Sammy Hagar, Shinedown, Steely Dan, Steve Miller Band, Styx, Ted Nugent, Tesla, The 1975, The Black Crowes, The Roots, The Wallflowers, U2, Van Halen, Whitesnake, Zac Brown Band, ZZ Top

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.15.01
    Age
    42
    Location
    Surf City, USA
    Posts
    8,033
    Last Online

    07.24.15 @ 10:25 PM
    Likes
    10
    Liked 10 Times in 3 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    I forget who said it here but I am fond of "Christ on a Cracker".
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
    Join Date
    12.15.01
    Age
    42
    Location
    Surf City, USA
    Posts
    8,033
    Last Online

    07.24.15 @ 10:25 PM
    Likes
    10
    Liked 10 Times in 3 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Another one I like is drop your cock and grab your socks.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.21.03
    Age
    52
    Location
    Mound Valley, Kansas
    Posts
    9,045
    Favorite VH Album

    5150, Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance The Night Away, Dreams
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 03:26 PM
    Likes
    39
    Liked 34 Times in 10 Posts

    Default

    "Christ on a crutch!"
    "Holy Balls!"
    "That's what I always say sometimes."
    "I wouldn't fuck her with a wagon tongue!"
    "Fucked up like a soup sandwich."
    "He could fall into a barrel full of tits and come out sucking his thumb."
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.04
    Location
    Secret Witness Protection Location
    Posts
    31,731
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Mike played on
    Favorite VH Song

    Anything Mike played on
    Last Online

    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
    Likes
    34
    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by onefootoutthedoor
    I forget who said it here but I am fond of "Christ on a Cracker".
    Taking the Lord's name in vain is always a good source of comedy.

    A gym coach in high school debuted this gem...."Jesus H Christ on a popcicle stick!"
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
    Join Date
    03.08.04
    Location
    Secret Witness Protection Location
    Posts
    31,731
    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Mike played on
    Favorite VH Song

    Anything Mike played on
    Last Online

    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
    Likes
    34
    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Dumb as a bag of hammers.

    Ahhh...."O Brother Where Art Thou".
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  14. #14
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
    Join Date
    04.19.00
    Age
    54
    Location
    On the wild card line...
    Posts
    28,686
    Favorite VH Song

    "Dance The Night Away"
    Last Online

    12.18.17 @ 09:38 AM
    Likes
    1,046
    Liked 1,351 Times in 927 Posts

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Summer Nights in Cabo
    F!#% you and the horse you rode in on

    I wouldn't f!@# her with your d!c#

    Definately Texan sayings it seems...
    Not these two!

    I used to have a roommate who said "I wouldn't kick her out of bed...yes, I would, there's more room on the floor"

    And in the vein of "I wouldn't f!@# her with your d!c#", there's the ol' standard "I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole"

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
    Join Date
    02.21.03
    Age
    52
    Location
    Mound Valley, Kansas
    Posts
    9,045
    Favorite VH Album

    5150, Fair Warning
    Favorite VH Song

    Dance The Night Away, Dreams
    Last Online

    12.14.17 @ 03:26 PM
    Likes
    39
    Liked 34 Times in 10 Posts

    Default

    One more I remembered:

    "If I had been Dolly Parton's kid, with my luck, I would have been bottle fed!"
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

 

 

Similar Threads

  1. The FUNNY Guys..Your Favorite Funny Characters/Comedians
    By FH in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 86
    Last Post: 05.30.17, 06:36 PM
  2. funny but sad
    By Eddymon in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 11.18.02, 07:02 PM
  3. now THIS is funny
    By E in forum Main VH Discussion
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 02.27.02, 07:33 AM
  4. Is this funny?
    By Mean_Street in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Music Only)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 02.24.02, 10:08 PM
  5. i think this is funny....
    By JMJ in forum VH Fans Meeting Place (Non-Music)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02.01.01, 08:24 PM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •