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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk Bob_R's Avatar
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    Default Things you have to believe....

    THIS ONE IS ALWAYS GOOD FOR GIGGLES & SOME EVEN DEEPER THOUGHT:


    Things you have to believe to be a Republican today:

    Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary
    Clinton.

    Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad
    guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did
    business with him, and a bad guy when
    Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

    Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is Communist, but trade
    with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.

    The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest
    national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

    A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her
    own body, but multi-national corporations can make
    decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

    The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
    speeches, while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.

    If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

    A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our
    long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

    Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy, but providing
    health care to all Americans is socialism.
    HMOs and insura nce companies have the best interests of the public at
    heart.

    Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are
    junk science, but Creationism and Intelligent Design should be taught
    in schools.

    A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
    offense, but a president lying to enlist support for a war in which
    thousands die is solid defense policy.

    Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution,
    which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

    The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle
    trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

    Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
    unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's
    an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

    You support states' rights, but the Attorney General can tell states
    what local voter initiatives they have the right to adopt.

    What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but
    what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

    Feel free to pass this on. If you don't send it to at least 10 other
    people, we're likely to be stuck with more Republicans in '06 and '08.

    Friends don't let friends vote Republican.

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    That was pretty funny like a Jim Carrey movie.

    Now, back to reality.
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk Viking's Avatar
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    In all reality though, if Jefferson, Washington, Madison, Franklin and some of the other founding fathers looked at what the Republicans, Democrats and politicians in general have done to this country, they would probably say "How did you all screw this up? We left you the instructions."
    "Viking - last to sleep, first to rise, last to leave, that's how the Nords of old rocked the house." ~ timmac in the 'Texas Linkers' thread talking about yours truly. :-)

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! csm5150's Avatar
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    All of it is so true. Shame there isn't anything about being tight w/oil companies while they rape us at the pumps and the fact that companies Cheney/Bush were/still are involved with had first cracks at the lucrative contracts involved w/our "war" in Iraq.
    LSU Tigers 2003 & 2007 National Champs
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    If looks could kill, I'd stare at everybody!

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! csm5150's Avatar
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    P.S. Need to add on that Republicans want to cut farm subsidies to crops with prices at all time lows and w/gas prices/fertilizers being at all time highs. I guess that survey was right on: George W. Bush is the worst president ever.
    LSU Tigers 2003 & 2007 National Champs
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  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
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    Here's the flip side:

    If you want to be a liberal today you must believe:

    You believe that religion must be marginalized because it's historically destructive in that there have been many wars fought between religious factions and churches deem certain social groups and activities immorral. On the other hand Stalin's Purges of almost 9 million Russians and the killing fields of Cambodia and the imprisonment of desenters in Venezualla is Okee-Dokie.

    Consistantly remind people that Reagan backed Iraq durring it's war with Iran, yet ignore that France and China were the two largest suppliers of weapons to Iraq with the Soviets coming in a close third.(Maybe you have to also believe that T-72s and Mig 29s are made in a secret factory in Ohio)

    Republicans are evil because they want to ban Gay Marriage, but the US should open up relations with Cuba - a country that arrests homosexuals and quarrentines (or imprisons) it's citizens who have AIDS.

    The US should stop complaining about the U.N., even though since it's formation in 1945 the greatest acts of mass-murder and genocide have occurred without so much as an angry letter.

    A woman has the right to and abortion durring the first trimester, but if she carries it to term and four years later she hauls off and smacks her kid, who's having a meltdown in the candy isle of Wal-Mart, then she should go to prison.

    Educators are smarter than parents when it comes to children, that's why the should be able to force whatever idiology they want to upon their students. Unless it's a Catholic school.

    George W Bush, who's put Colin Powell and Condaleezza Rice into the highest positions in government black people have ever held, is a racist, but Howard Dean, who never hired a person of color while he was Governor, is head of the Democratic Party and that's cool.

    The best way to fight Islamic terror is to APOLOGIZE to them for America's insensativity.

    Obviously Bush lied about Iraq's WMDs, yet when you point out that the US backed Saddam against Iraq you cannot be cognizant that the US supplied targeting information, Radar, Air to Air missles and ANTHRAX to Iraq, this might undercut your point.

    Republican censorship is bad, but when Democrats like Obama and Lieberman want to censor the same things -hey, that's okay.

    Two wrongs make a right.

    Animal House used to be your favorite movie. You cheered when Bluto drove off and was elected to the Senate. You don't think it's so funny now that he's President.

    You are outraged when Federal Law supersedes state laws and vow to make trouble, just as the Democrats did when they voted to succeed from the Union because the religious fanatical Republican Party had the NERVE to outlaw the spread of slavery on (of all things ) moral grounds. Then those same Republicans then fought an illegal war (ignoring the Supreme Court) to force the Confederacy back into the union when all they wanted to do was maintain their traditional way of life, which included slavery. I guess old habits die hard.

    When federal agents raid a medical marijuana club, you are sickened. However, when the ATF raided WACO and later the FBI burned the compound down with everone inside, that was a necessity because after all, those people were religious fanatics who had guns.
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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  7. #7
    Eruption snostorm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Viking
    In all reality though, if Jefferson, Washington, Madison, Franklin and some of the other founding fathers looked at what the Republicans, Democrats and politicians in general have done to this country, they would probably say "How did you all screw this up? We left you the instructions."
    thats funny...and true

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk
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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Animal House used to be your favorite movie. You cheered when Bluto drove off and was elected to the Senate. You don't think it's so funny now that he's President.

    GW, I served with John 'Bluto' Blutarsky, I knew John 'Bluto' Blutarsky, John 'Bluto' Blutarsky was a friend of mine.

    GW, you are no John 'Bluto' Blutarsky.

  9. #9
    Hang 'Em High janthraxx's Avatar
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    11.18.14 @ 07:57 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by EVH FANATIC
    Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
    unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's
    an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.
    That's funny, I was just listening to Rush.
    "Suck a fat one, faggot."
    -MikeL, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    "You may recognize some of these chemicals. Let's start with cyanide...The one the Aum Shinrikyo cult attempted to use to commit mass murder in a Tokyo subway in May 1995...The same cyanide produced routinely--1.4 million tons per year--for use in the production of plastics, adhesives, cosmetics, pharmaceuticals, and so on. It seems that those who put small amounts of cyanide in subways are terrorists. But those who produce it in mass quantities and contaminate broad reaches of soil, water, and air, killing countless living beings, are not terrorists, but rather capitalists, and are counted among the finest and most powerful people on the planet."

    -Derrick Jensen, "What We Leave Behind"

    "You know what's weird to me is Christians who are against the death penalty. After all, if it weren't for the death penalty, we wouldn't celebrate Easter!"

    -the late, great, Bill Hicks

  10. #10
    Eruption NoBrownM&M's's Avatar
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    12.12.17 @ 11:17 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Here's the flip side:

    If you want to be a liberal today you must believe:

    You believe that religion must be marginalized because it's historically destructive in that there have been many wars fought between religious factions and churches deem certain social groups and activities immorral. On the other hand Stalin's Purges of almost 9 million Russians and the killing fields of Cambodia and the imprisonment of desenters in Venezualla is Okee-Dokie.

    Consistantly remind people that Reagan backed Iraq durring it's war with Iran, yet ignore that France and China were the two largest suppliers of weapons to Iraq with the Soviets coming in a close third.(Maybe you have to also believe that T-72s and Mig 29s are made in a secret factory in Ohio)

    Republicans are evil because they want to ban Gay Marriage, but the US should open up relations with Cuba - a country that arrests homosexuals and quarrentines (or imprisons) it's citizens who have AIDS.

    The US should stop complaining about the U.N., even though since it's formation in 1945 the greatest acts of mass-murder and genocide have occurred without so much as an angry letter.

    A woman has the right to and abortion durring the first trimester, but if she carries it to term and four years later she hauls off and smacks her kid, who's having a meltdown in the candy isle of Wal-Mart, then she should go to prison.

    Educators are smarter than parents when it comes to children, that's why the should be able to force whatever idiology they want to upon their students. Unless it's a Catholic school.

    George W Bush, who's put Colin Powell and Condaleezza Rice into the highest positions in government black people have ever held, is a racist, but Howard Dean, who never hired a person of color while he was Governor, is head of the Democratic Party and that's cool.

    The best way to fight Islamic terror is to APOLOGIZE to them for America's insensativity.

    Obviously Bush lied about Iraq's WMDs, yet when you point out that the US backed Saddam against Iraq you cannot be cognizant that the US supplied targeting information, Radar, Air to Air missles and ANTHRAX to Iraq, this might undercut your point.

    Republican censorship is bad, but when Democrats like Obama and Lieberman want to censor the same things -hey, that's okay.

    Two wrongs make a right.

    Animal House used to be your favorite movie. You cheered when Bluto drove off and was elected to the Senate. You don't think it's so funny now that he's President.

    You are outraged when Federal Law supersedes state laws and vow to make trouble, just as the Democrats did when they voted to succeed from the Union because the religious fanatical Republican Party had the NERVE to outlaw the spread of slavery on (of all things ) moral grounds. Then those same Republicans then fought an illegal war (ignoring the Supreme Court) to force the Confederacy back into the union when all they wanted to do was maintain their traditional way of life, which included slavery. I guess old habits die hard.

    When federal agents raid a medical marijuana club, you are sickened. However, when the ATF raided WACO and later the FBI burned the compound down with everone inside, that was a necessity because after all, those people were religious fanatics who had guns.

    Right on the money. Great post.

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Bob_R's Avatar
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    1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

    2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the
    country.

    3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the
    country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

    4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country
    but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like
    their statistics shown in pie charts.

    5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running
    the country--if they could find the time--and if they didn't have to
    leave Southern California to do it.

    6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the
    country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

    7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who
    is running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a
    seat on the train.

    8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running
    the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably
    while intoxicated.

    9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country
    but need the baseball scores.

    10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure
    there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but if so, they
    oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the
    leaders are handicapped minority feminist atheist dwarfs who also
    happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy provided,
    of course, that they are not Republicans.

    11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the
    grocery store.

    12. None of these are read by the guy who is running the country into
    the ground.

  12. #12
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    959 DAYS
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  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Here's the flip side:

    If you want to be a liberal today you must believe:

    You believe that religion must be marginalized because it's historically destructive in that there have been many wars fought between religious factions and churches deem certain social groups and activities immorral. On the other hand Stalin's Purges of almost 9 million Russians and the killing fields of Cambodia and the imprisonment of desenters in Venezualla is Okee-Dokie..
    Progressives don't want to 'marginalize' religion. We don't want it shoved down our throats, or that of our children. Christian zealots are slowly trying to push their views into every aspect of our society, and whenever someone raises an objection, the zealots cry persecution. Religions haven't caused wars, but leaders have manipulated the ignorance and herd mentality of the people by weilding their religions as a tool for popular support and fear mongering.

    What progressive sees Stalin's purges or Cambodian killings as Okee Dokie??? That's very fanciful. I urge you to present a progressive with this view, nay I challenge you.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Consistantly remind people that Reagan backed Iraq durring it's war with Iran, yet ignore that France and China were the two largest suppliers of weapons to Iraq with the Soviets coming in a close third.(Maybe you have to also believe that T-72s and Mig 29s are made in a secret factory in Ohio).
    Nobody faults the US for backing Iraq straight up in that war, but history doesn't occur in a vacuum. Our main gripe is that these same people knew about Iraq's atrocities but turned a blind eye then, but all of a sudden care now. That's called hypocrisy, and we see their bullshit. They didn't care then, and they didn't care now, but they still use Iraq's bad behavior as a reason for invading. I don't buy the bullshit.

    Another gripe is that the US played both sides. We armed the Iranians, and gave gas to Iraq to mutilate the Iranians. Iran Contra, remember? The US govt. was a slimy two-handed, backstabbing entity back then, and is now. Fuck France and China, they're no better, but I don't live there. It's my country that represents ME.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Republicans are evil because they want to ban Gay Marriage, but the US should open up relations with Cuba - a country that arrests homosexuals and quarrentines (or imprisons) it's citizens who have AIDS..
    That's really reaching, don't you think? Yes, the constitution should NOT be changed to ban gay marriage, essentially legalizing discrimination. I believe relations should be opened with all countries, regardless of domestic policies and ills against their own peoples. We should open up trade, to improve the lives of their citizens, and work closely with them to improve human rights. Nothing's accomplished by ignoring it, right?

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    The US should stop complaining about the U.N., even though since it's formation in 1945 the greatest acts of mass-murder and genocide have occurred without so much as an angry letter..
    The UN has done plenty of good. More good than if they had not existed. The main problem with the UN is the USA. Our country basically runs it. Many times they have their hands tied because the US votes against an action or refuses to aid with $$ or manpower, greatly hindering any UN effort.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    A woman has the right to and abortion durring the first trimester, but if she carries it to term and four years later she hauls off and smacks her kid, who's having a meltdown in the candy isle of Wal-Mart, then she should go to prison..
    Depends what you mean by a meltdown. If she literally beats her kid down, yes action should be taken. A simple smack or spanking, well it's her kid. I suppse there's a fine line between discipline and abuse, but it shouldn't be too hard. If the kid is bleeding and getting bruised, you don't think the mother is wrong? Please.

    Abortions, ahh the slippery slope. Mother's rights; a fetus is not a child; the nervous system is not fully developed; etc etc etc. Government stay out of women's reproductive rights.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Educators are smarter than parents when it comes to children, that's why the should be able to force whatever idiology they want to upon their students. Unless it's a Catholic school..
    A parent can teach whatever they want to their kids. They can teach the Adam and Eve theory, or that the Great Spaghetti King created the universe. Public schools will use the most scientifically up to date theories and proof to teach children how the world works. They won't teach old Egyptian mythologies on the sun god creating the world, or aliens populated us. Why should they teach fanciful bible stories as the origin of life? Because a few nutjobs raise a stink? Sorry, the scientific community has a bit more credibility than you.

    A parent has the option though, that is the beauty. Home school them if you want them to grow up to be Jerry Falwell. Send them to Catholic School. Why should public school children be fed a MINORITY view? Evolution is the majority accepted view. Are you going to start arguing that Earth is the center of the galaxy too?

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    George W Bush, who's put Colin Powell and Condaleezza Rice into the highest positions in government black people have ever held, is a racist, but Howard Dean, who never hired a person of color while he was Governor, is head of the Democratic Party and that's cool..
    Who says Bush is racist? Tell me what leading progressives have said this? Talk about diverting from real issues. The Bush governments policies have largely hurt the poor, including tax cuts, and the poor happen to encompass many people of color. Also, New Orleans, a predominantly black area, was basically ignored during a tragedy of immense proportion.

    Powell and Rice are Uncle Tom yes men, no more. Remember Powell's 'presentation' to the UN, with doctored photos and misinformation about Iraq? Also, he's stated that many of his viewpoints, objections, etc were laughed off or ignored by other administration officials. Rice is heavy in the oil industry and is a yes woman. These people don't represent African Americans and don't fight for them.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    The best way to fight Islamic terror is to APOLOGIZE to them for America's insensativity..
    LOL!!! Wow, you have me rolling. You are so blinded by Bill O'Reilly to understand progressives, aren't you?

    First, I want to use one of your analogies: It's expected to follow Jesus Christ and love thy enemy and avert from any violence, but it's ok to eradicate a whole race and religion because your government labels them terrorists.

    Our governments' actions have created and enabled the Islamo-terrorist movements of today. The CIA armed and trained the Mujahadeen. The CIA overthrew the Iranian government in the 40's to get their oil. Our government played both sides to slaughter in the Iran-Iraq war. The US orchestrated and manipulated the Iraq war 1 to get access to Kuwaiti/Saudi oil. Our militar bases are on sacred holy land. We have wronged them many times. A very poor people with very little, we have walked all over them.

    Most progressives aren't apologists for terrorists. However, we can see beyond blind hatred and nationalistic xenophobia and USA cheerleading to realize with reality is. First, we need to change government policy, pull out of the Middle East and gain energy independence. Next, we have to work closely with the governments to eleminate human rights abuses. We build our domestic defenses up. We give these terrorists NO reason to hate us. Then you treat it as an international law enforcement issue, tracking down and imprisoning/putting on trial known terrorist offenders and associated.

    A WAR ON TERROR will never work, and will never be done. Terror will never go away by using force. You stamp out one fire, 3 pop up. You have to destroy its root, and that's American imperialism. That's the beauty of it for this government: perpetual war and fear. Mix it with religion and you have a full on propaganda masterpiece. Hitler would be proud.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Obviously Bush lied about Iraq's WMDs, yet when you point out that the US backed Saddam against Iraq you cannot be cognizant that the US supplied targeting information, Radar, Air to Air missles and ANTHRAX to Iraq, this might undercut your point..
    Radar and Antrax are NOT wmd's. It doesn't undercut anything Einstein.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Republican censorship is bad, but when Democrats like Obama and Lieberman want to censor the same things -hey, that's okay..
    Proof please. You're probably reaching and projecting again, but I'd like to see what you come up with.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Two wrongs make a right..
    Huh? If you're talking eye for an eye, well I believe that's the Republican mantra.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    Animal House used to be your favorite movie. You cheered when Bluto drove off and was elected to the Senate. You don't think it's so funny now that he's President..
    Animal House is a good movie, but George W? Bluto is not. Don't insult Bluto's intelligence like that. He's a great character, a drunk who's fun to laugh at and cheer on. Why oh why would I want that as president???? Give me a scholar or someone with intelligence and heart anytime.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    You are outraged when Federal Law supersedes state laws and vow to make trouble, just as the Democrats did when they voted to succeed from the Union because the religious fanatical Republican Party had the NERVE to outlaw the spread of slavery on (of all things ) moral grounds. Then those same Republicans then fought an illegal war (ignoring the Supreme Court) to force the Confederacy back into the union when all they wanted to do was maintain their traditional way of life, which included slavery. I guess old habits die hard..
    SUCCEED???? LMAO. I saw some 6th graders on tv last week who could spell circles around you. It's SECEDE.

    The Republicans from back then are now the Dems and the other way around smart ass. Their views polarized. Check out the history of the parties. The southern dems are what the Republicans are today. Nice try though.

    Quote Originally Posted by Axxman300
    When federal agents raid a medical marijuana club, you are sickened. However, when the ATF raided WACO and later the FBI burned the compound down with everone inside, that was a necessity because after all, those people were religious fanatics who had guns.
    Are you f'n kidding men??!?!? What progressives agreed with the WACO debacle? Just because it occured during the Clinton years, you think liberals agreed? Are you for real? Are you blind with hatred for democrats that you fabricate lies to discredit them? You are a load.

    I know someone (hard core repub) who worked for a reporting agency and saw a live feed from the compound. There were no shots fired from inside. There were no guns used. The FBI acted first and committed a massacre. There was an escape tunnel in the back underground that they were trying to escape through when the fires from the FBI started. Well, the good ol' US drove a tank right over the hole. They found dead children and women in the tunnel, trying to get out, but blocked.

    Dems and Repubs are both terrible at running this country. They both have run this country into the ground. There is no strong progressive voice that this nation has, to overtake the money hungry religions fanatics at the top (Dem and Repub), and until then our environment will continue into the gutter, we will have senseless wars, and create more enemies and terrorist threats.

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    03.20.07 @ 12:01 PM
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    You're a republican if you like to see brown people cry...


 

 

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