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  1. #1
    Atomic Punk
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    Default Chicken Parties: Your Daughter's Possible Sex Life

    What Parents Don't Know About Their Teen Daughters' Sex Lives
    Chicken Parties, Unsafe Sexual Contact and Some Heartbreaking Confessions


    May 18, 2006 - Teen girls today seem forced to grow up very fast, especially when it comes to sex. The question is, how can parents talk to their teens about sex and help them negotiate the pitfalls they might face?

    While about 90 percent of parents say they've spoken to their teens about sex, only half of their teens agree. Where is the disconnect?

    ABC News' "Primetime" and Seventeen magazine hosted a slumber party for 14 girls between the ages of 13 and 17 to talk about what sex means in their lives. Their parents later joined the party to see what their daughters said, and some of those parents found out a few things they didn't know.

    'Chicken Parties' and More

    The girls talked candidly about their lives, but four hours into the sleepover, the talk turned to some topics that make many parents cringe -- girls kissing girls to please boys, "chicken parties" and unsafe sex.

    Tiffany said that at parties, boys will frequently ask girls to kiss each other.

    "They get like a little drunk and then they're like, 'Oh my God, like I have to see two girls make out or I'm goin' to die,'" she said. "And girls will just be like, 'All right.' Like once they're drunk, they're like, 'Who the hell cares?'"

    Atoosa Rubenstein, Seventeen's editor, asked the girls about unsafe sexual practices. "Who has performed oral sex without using a condom?"

    Only two girls at the party admitted to doing it, but when asked if they had friends who performed oral sex without a condom, most of the girls said a resounding yes.

    Rubenstein said girls seem to assume that the boys they know are "safe."

    "What I hear over and over again is from girls who think a guy is cool and think it's totally fine, it's like my friend, of course he's fine," she said.

    In fact, a Seventeen magazine study found that around 56 percent of boys who have sexually transmitted diseases do not tell the girl.

    And finally, the discussion turned to a topic even the girls were uncomfortable discussing: sex parties, which go by several different names. They're sometimes called hooky, rainbow or chicken parties.

    Only one girl in the group admitted to having been to what she called a chicken party.

    "I've been to lots of them, actually," said Christina. "Me and my friends all go out and we meet at one place, and then we all just kind of ... haphazardly hook up, sort of just like kissing. We'll be half-naked, we'll watch porn and make fun of it, because there's almost nothing as unsexy as porn."

    Sabrina Weill, a former Seventeen editor, says in her book, "The Real Truth About Teens and Sex," that one in 11 teens has witnessed people having sex in front of other people.

    Weill says that two things are at play here. One is old-fashioned pack behavior: If those kids are doing it, it must be OK. And secondly, she says, alcohol plays a factor in these games and parties, making teens feel invincible and more vulnerable to suggestion.

    Parents and Girls Reunite

    After the candid conversations and a few hours of sleep, the girls were ready to reunite with their parents. "Primetime" taped the girls' discussion and edited it to show their parents.

    Even in families that said they communicate well, both the girls and parents were nervous about what would be revealed. And even parents who are close to their kids sometimes don't realize the complexities of the decisions teens must make and the pressures they can face.

    Most of the parents believed their girls are still virgins, but Natalie's parents learned just how close to the brink their daughter got with a boy who didn't even like her.

    "That the only reason he even talked to me was because there was a chance that he might get something out of me, and that I was totally not attractive, or his type, or anything," Natalie said on tape. "And um, and that was kind of a wake-up call."

    Natalie's mom, Jana, cried as she watched her daughter talk about her heartbreaking experience. "Shocking," Jana said.

    Natalie's dad, Jim, said he thought his daughter could handle herself with boys and wouldn't put up with being treated poorly. But after seeing the tape, he said, "I think we're a little smarter now on the real Natalie."

    Rubenstein told Jim and Jana that they know the real Natalie, but "it's just that the world that she lives in ... is different. ... So don't think it's her."

    Another parent, Elaine, watched her daughter, Tracey, talk about losing her virginity to her best friend -- and getting her heart broken.

    "It's painful for me because I ... know she really cared about him, and it just, it hurts me, because his parents almost came up to me in my face and said to me, 'You are a bad parent, because you're not like a parent to your daughter, you're more like her friend,'" Elaine said.

    But Elaine wondered why only her daughter was looked upon as the "bad" person.

    "And it's not my child that's corrupting yours, it's yours that's as equal in this as mine is. ... It made me mad," she said.

    But Tracey's stepdad won't understand and will likely punish her when he hears her confession, Elaine said. "I think he expected for her to stay pure until she was married," she said. "But you know what, this is not realistic. That's not living in the real world, just like his [the boy's] parents don't live in the real world."

    And then there was Tiffany, who had been so bold the night before, talking about engaging in behavior to please boys.

    When her mother, Christine, watched the video, she said she was bothered that the girls were so easily manipulated by the boys. "I question why would they feel that they need to be manipulated to impress a boy or excite a boy?" she said.

    In many cases, the girls felt it was easier to tell their secrets on national TV among strangers than it was to tell the people who love them most in the world. But they also longed to feel safe in confiding in their parents.

    "It's just so embarrassing for them," Rubenstein said. "That's the thing, to us as adults might feel like, you know what, we've all been through it. It's not a big deal. To them, it's a lot of times, the first time they're going through things, and it's a big deal."

    It seemed that when both the parents and teens took those first steps to talk about the details of sex -- without anger or embarrassment -- they found it easier to move ahead and talk about how to deal with difficult situations and stay safe.

    Since the sleepover, "Primetime" received updates from many of the girls, who said that revealing so much on camera was a life-altering experience for them, and that it actually improved their relationships with their parents.

    Chicken Party: a party where many of the people there are engaging in oral sex. mostly girls giving head.
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack. -- Gen. George S. Patton

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    Thank the sweet Lord I've got a boy on the way and not a girl...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
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  3. #3
    Eruption ericjt's Avatar
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    WOW. We have a teenage/early 20s girl in my office as a file clerk. Her nickname is Chicken Little (had it well before the move came out).

    Now I guess I know what the nickname means!
    Van Halen Live: 15 shows.
    Have I seen my last one?

  4. #4
    Sinner's Swing! InTheBeginning's Avatar
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    Default

    Ohhhh, I thought you were talking about this kind of chicken party...

    A little more volume in the headphones please.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by InTheBeginning
    Ohhhh, I thought you were talking about this kind of chicken party...


    I go to those all the time, but they are a party of one...
    "Watch what people are cynical about, and one can often discover what they lack. -- Gen. George S. Patton

  6. #6
    Pope Of Greenwich Village SuckaInA3Piece's Avatar
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    LOL!

    In all seriousness though, I have a niece that'll be turning 13yrs old in November, and this type of stuff scares the life out of me. I see so many teens that want to grow up fast, but luckily my niece still enjoys being a kid. We've gotten her in a ton of activities in and out of school to keep her busy, so I hope she stays out of trouble for a long while.

    If not, I'm buying a gun. Donations for bail money would be appreciated. See Brett for details.
    "It's always a Catch-22 situation. They hate you if you're the same, and they hate you if you're different."
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  7. #7
    Hot For Teacher
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    I've only recently learned what a "rainbow" party is. I have a coworker with a daughter that's 13 and she told him what it was. She said she had never been to one but other girls on their softball team go to them.

    A rainbow party is where all the girls wear different colored lipstick. Then they each go down on a guy and create a rainbow of colors.
    Face Down in Cabo!

  8. #8
    Wear the fox hat... Filthy 150's Avatar
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    10.16.17 @ 11:43 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by sixstring
    Thank the sweet Lord I've got a boy on the way and not a girl...
    A kid(21) that works for me is going to have a daughter.
    He's already freaking out...won't be showing this to him.
    "Here's to swimmin' with bow legged women."
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    "I think you're all fucked in the head. We're ten hours from the fucking fun park, and you wanna bail out! Well, I'll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation . . . it's a quest! It's a quest for fun! I'm gonna have fun, and you're gonna have fun! We're all gonna have so much fucking fun we'll need plastic surgery to remove our Goddamn smiles! You'll be whistling Zip-a-dee-doo-da out of your assholes! "
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    Round I = Done!
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    Round VIII = Done!

  9. #9
    Pope Of Greenwich Village SuckaInA3Piece's Avatar
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    That's some crazy shit, Cabo Brian.
    Last edited by SuckaInA3Piece; 05.18.06 at 11:24 AM.
    "It's always a Catch-22 situation. They hate you if you're the same, and they hate you if you're different."
    ~Eddie Van Halen~

    "The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, and then turns into a pizza."
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  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! racefan8's Avatar
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    Welcome to my world. My daughter just turned 15.
    Quote Originally Posted by voivod
    In many cases, the girls felt it was easier to tell their secrets on national TV among strangers than it was to tell the people who love them most in the world. But they also longed to feel safe in confiding in their parents.
    My ex criticizes me for being more of a girlfriend to her than a mother, but at least she confides in me openly, though not completely. I know I know more about her life than everyone of her friends' parents. Knowledge is power. She still must and will make her own mistakes - I cannot hope to stop her. At least I'll be able to guide her since she's willing to include me. A lot of her friends call me (or IM me) to ask for help or advice, too. I recently heard that her H.S. is nicknamed VD Central or something. Being a parent to a teenager these days is truly a challenge.
    Stupid is forever, ignorance can be fixed.
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    Compassion is the basis of all morality.
    The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.
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  11. #11
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    T/G I don't have this crap to worry about with my teens.

    That's quite a dose of teenage reality these days.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  12. #12
    Atomic Punk fast98dodge's Avatar
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    When I hear "chicken" I think of that being the street name for young boy prostitutes... Don't ever order Jamaican Jerk Chicken around me... I may spit my beer all over the place...
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  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! twonabomber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by racefan8
    Being a parent to a teenager these days is truly a challenge.
    i've known one of my friends since we were 12...she's got a son who's coming up on 16 and a 14 year old daughter. the kids always ask me what kind of trouble their mom and i got into but i'll never tell 'em. they don't need any more ideas.
    "is this a good show tonight, or fuckin' what?" - DLR, Montreal, 11/10/07

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  14. #14
    Good Enough wham bam will rock's Avatar
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    Oral sex WITH a condom? That's crazy talk!!!
    "Never is just reven spelled backwards." -House

    "Did I listen to pop music because I was miserable or was I miserable because I listened to pop music?" -THE Rob Gordon

  15. #15
    Good Enough namedmydaughterHALEN's Avatar
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    dear god.......
    oh the shit i am going to have to face when she gets older.
    do not even wanna think about it.

 

 

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