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    Good Enough Phatie's Avatar
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    Default In Kentucky, you can pick a Booger, but you can't pick a metrosexual

    In Kentucky, you can pick a Booger, but you can't pick a metrosexual
    Duluth News Tribune ^ | May 17, 2005 | JOHN KELSO

    I'm a little embarrassed that Texas is being thrashed by the state of Kentucky when it comes to political candidates with screwy hick nicknames.

    Take Jason "Booger" Jude, 27, who is running for sheriff in Kentucky's Martin County.

    In snooty Austin, if a guy nicknamed Booger were running for office, he'd probably change his name to something more pretentious. In Kentucky, a guy running for office might change his name to Booger. Unless he were already known as Gatemouth.

    So Jude's name will appear on the ballot as Jason "Booger" Jude. Booger is sticking with his nickname because everybody knows him as Booger. So if he didn't put Booger on the ballot, people might not pick Booger. So to speak.

    "I've had (the name) ever since I can remember; my dad used to call me Little Booger," explained Booger, who runs the jail transport for the county. "My slogan is, 'When you go to the poll, pick a Booger. Flick the rest, pick a Booger.' "

    I don't know if there are any other Boogers running in Kentucky. But there sure are a lot of local candidates up there with colorful nicknames. Everywhere you turn there's a Crawdad, a Hoss Fly or a Hog who wants your vote. According to the Lexington Herald-Leader, others running in Kentucky are Hot Dog, Tonto, Tank, Mule Train and Walleye.

    Just think how much better shape this country would be in if we had a president named Walleye, instead of a president who is walleyed.

    Up in Kentucky, sometimes people have nicknames based on their occupations. On one ballot you'll find Jack "The Tireman" Roberts and Gary "The Welder" Asher.

    This wouldn't be happening in Austin. We're too highly caffeinated and wired. Around here it would be Fred "The Tonerman" Smith running against Travis "The Web Page Designer" Jones.

    Imagine what it would be like if the candidates in California had nicknames: Running for office would be Spritzer, Pedicure Boy, Fruit Cup, Pony Tail Puppy, Metrosexual, Wax Back Man, Arugula Breath, Radicchio Rash, Yogurt Meister, Soy Muffin, Kiwi Cluster and Wheatgrass Dude.

    This is not to say everybody in Kentucky has a still, plays with snakes in church and keeps a bunch of dogs under the porch. In fact, not everyone in Kentucky is happy with Booger's campaign slogan: "When you go to the poll, pick a Booger."

    When Booger tried to use it in an ad in the Big Sandy News, the newspaper wouldn't run it.

    "We were afraid it would offend some people," said Tony Fyffe, the managing editor. He said the newspaper didn't have a problem with the nickname, just the motto.

    But Booger's mom isn't real happy about the newspaper treating her boy that way.

    "That's how everybody here in the county knows him, is by Booger," said Ivy Jude, who is Booger's campaign treasurer.

    Personally, I think she should change her name to Mrs. Booger. Or maybe Ma Booger. I'd vote for a guy whose campaign treasurer was Ma Booger.

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    Crazy. But that wouldn't happen here in Cali. Not unless you're a cheesey
    actor who campaigns to Twisted Sister and runs on slogans from his movies.



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