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  1. #1
    Baluchitherium dirtymovies's Avatar
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    08.25.16 @ 11:11 PM
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    REUTERS
    -------

    In a STUNNING turn of events, at Valerie Bertinelli's insistence, husband Edward Van Halen has been forced to hire Susan B. Anthony to replace Mike Anthony as the new thundering bassist AND lead vocalist for the rock group Van Halen!

    Valerie: "WE have been unable to reach reunion agreements with either David Lee Roth OR Sammy Hagar and Gary was just a big, fat mistake so WE are taking Van Halen in a new and positive direction with a new leader even older than Sammy and with an even more female touch than Gary with the familiar Anthony name - Susan B. Anthony."


    [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img] [img]graemlins/devil.gif[/img]

    note: idea courtesy of Ted Templeman

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium dirtymovies's Avatar
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    When asked why Michael Anthony was being replaced, Valerie replied:
    "His growing affection for Sammy Hagar, his Tequila, and playing live with Sammy under the influence of his Tequila was an obvious slap in the face to US in Van Halen and required immediate, swift, and drastic action against Mr. Anthony."

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium dirtymovies's Avatar
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    Valerie went on to add:

    "You must understand that any member of the band that is no longer under our total, mind-numbing control at all times must be replaced. We wish Mr. Anthony nothing but the best."

  4. #4
    Good Enough
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    06.29.07 @ 02:57 PM
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    lol......I think I know who Val really wants to play bass for =VH=.

    From 3-13 to 10-6 and NFC South Champs.....go Saints!

    My Hurricane Katrina pics

  5. #5
    Good Enough Hecubus's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    Live in Largo '82
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    It's all fun & games until somebody busts out the Schneider pic!! [img]smile.gif[/img]
    Q: Recording the album took so long your Australian tour last year was cancelled. What was it like in the studio? There's a history of tension between you and Eddie Van Halen...

    DLR: It was like a stand off in a Chuck Norris movie. We each had the laser dot on everybody's forehead waiting for the other guy to blink. Except for Wolfie, he had a Super Soaker ...

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
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    09.29.16 @ 01:11 AM
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    Love the Schneider pic!!!
    Remember the Heroes - 9/11/01

    In 2012, the phoenix has risen!!

    "High speed, low drag."

    "Look at all the people here tonight!!!" - 10/5/07, 5/20/08 Mohegan Sun

    Congratulations to Van Halen as part of the Class of 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

    Cinco de Cabo @ Foxwoods: "A giant party with live music" - S. Hagar

    got tequila?

    http://keepitaliveforever.com

 

 

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