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  1. #1
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 01:37 PM
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    Default Arggggggggggggg.....In laws!!

    Ohhh I am so frustrated I cant even stand it.

    My Sisters husband(Joe) has pushed me to the edge. For the most part the guy is a decent friendly guy. He has some quirks that really make him unbearable at times. The thing that has pushed me over the top tonight is his e-mails. Joe sends out these e-mails of a sports star he thinks is great. What he does is he cuts and paste's a article and sends them out to a group of 12 people that he feels will enjoy it. I have only seen two of the people reply, they reply to everyone on the list. Now I have asked time and time again very nicely NOT to be part of this. I have explained very nicely that I don't care about the subject and don't like all the e-mails. I never read them, they just got deleted. Sometimes I would have to delete 15 messages in a day. I would ask him in person and via e-mail to please stop. He would just laugh and say that I needed that info. About 9 months ago he caught me in a shitty mood, I send a reply to the group basically saying to stop the spam. I told Joe I didn't want the e-mails but if I had to I was going to put him on my block sender list!! The e-mails stopped.
    A week ago I was at my Sisters house for dinner and something this sports star did was brought up in dinner conversation. He said that I would be getting a e-mail about it later during the week. I was very serious when I said "NO don't start sending me those again, I don't read them, I don't want all the replies. Don't send it!"

    Guess what arrived in my e-mail last night?? Yep he sent it!!
    My reply was real brief, all I said was " I really don't want to be on that e-mail list. Please don't send them!!
    Today when I get home he has replied, The subject is "lighten up!!" It says that it was only one e-mail in the last 6 months, and that I am not on "the list".

    WTF is with this guy?? Its like he knows it pisses me off and that's why he does it. Or could it be that he is really this clueless?

    He can be very aloof, its really hard to put a finger on. A few years back they needed a new deck. My Dad and I offered to build it for free. All we ask is that they purchase the materials and that Joe helps. Joe would also be responsible for the destruction of the old deck. The materials arrived Friday night we were all set to start on Saturday. We even brought one of the guys that works for us M-F to help. The old deck was NOT torn down. So we spent 3 hours doing that. We get the new deck which was a LARGE second story deck all framed up. I realize that he has not done a fucking thing!!! We are set to start putting down cedar decking, this is a long process at least a full day, its very boring. I tell him to get up here and HELP!!! Its HIS DECK!!! He gives me this bit about how he doesn't know what he is doing, we all say we will show you at the same time. He helped for awhile then would go do something else. It was a very frustrating experience. Later that Summer my Sister asked me if I knew of any house painters. I told her that I would spray the house for free if she bought the paint. All I asked was that Joe help with Ladders and that he do all the trim. What a CLUSTER FUCK that turned out to be. Me holding a spray gun and trying to move 20ft ladders was no fun. All he had to do was hold the paint shield and move ladders for me. What should have taken me 2-3 hours took all day long, no joke it took me 7 hours. I was not happy.
    One day he called and asked to borrow a pick-up. I said fine come and get it. He wanted me to bring it to HIM!! We live about 40 minutes away from each other. I said no and that was the end of that. He didn't want to borrow it if I wasn't willing to bring it to him. WTF?? When I have let him borrow a truck it always comes back with every single radio pre set turned to a classic country station. WTF??

    On more than one occasion he has hushed me during a conversation. Each time it was during a family dinner, he didn't feel what I was saying was appropriate. Yes he is a die hard right wing christian. People I really don't swear, I certainly would never discuss something in front of my niece and nephew that was inappropriate. To be hushed in front of about 10 family members is extremely humiliating and maddening. I was so fucking mad the last time he did it I almost left and went home. The only thing that kept me around was it was x-mas eve dinner.

    I am at my wits end. I honestly don't know how to deal with this guy anymore. He obviously has zero respect for me and feels that I am his lacky.

    I am afraid I am going to snap some night at a family dinner. Its to the point were I dont even want go to my Sisters and I love and respect he with all my heart.
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  2. #2
    Good Enough
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    07.27.07 @ 01:06 PM
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    I guess you live really close to this guy so avoiding him is out of the question right?

    I have a crazy in law family, there actually just really different then what im used to. I have to tell myself constantly that their just being who they are, there's nothing wrong with it, stuff like that, but it get's old after a few days.

    Im a lot more patient with this kind of stuff now, back in the day I would have knocked out half her family on the first day.

    I do make it a point to never complain or to show anything other then acceptance, im not solving any of the worlds problems by pointing out to other people how much they get on my nerves.

  3. #3
    Good Enough Phatie's Avatar
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    09.01.07 @ 03:35 PM
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    Olo,

    I think he's doing this stuff to get to you. You have only said "no" to one of his requests once? Its too easy for him to use you because you volunteer. You place conditions on him to help knowing he is lame and unuseable as labor. It seems to me that each one of his projects is really a practical joke, and his spam is a practical joke as well. You need to set some rules on your Outlook to respond with something really embarrasing to him to the entire group. Tools/MessageRules/Mail and create a rule that can filter something like the symbol that appears in news stories, or the word FAVOR to trigger an automatic email response. Ask your sister for a bad picture of him, and attach it to a "reply to all" rule, so each time he puts you on a spam list,they all get it automatically. If that doesn't work, convince your sister to divorce him.

    Ph@tie

  4. #4
    5150 DoHalen5150's Avatar
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    10.08.15 @ 11:37 AM
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    Default

    my suggestion, and be careful, becuase my suggestions are usually over the top. But who cares. Hopefully your sister realizes that you love her, and not her husband. Well in response to the emails, I would reply with some nice messages regarding his religion. Right wing christians allways go batty whenever ever you talk about their religion. Perhaps you can find a few quotes from someone that is anti christian. I love talking about religion with people that are so wrapped up in it. It will drive them crazy that you do not believe in what they are talking about, and it helps if you have some good counter points that point out that they are wasting their time with they hypocrysies of organized religion. Tell him that all you need is a good foundation of sound morals, instead of some church telling you how you should act. I think there was heaven before organized religion, so if there is a god, let him judge me when the time comes, not some right winged knucklehead.

    if you don't want to go the religious route, perhaps recap what an asshole this guy is with a simple "reply all"...you could re-tell the painting, the deck, the truck borrowing stories, and ask for opionions from the others. You might find that he might have a few buddies that will reply back zinging him back, and he may see how silly he's acting. Or he may not, and will be upset, but I guess you win either way.

    If that fails, just ignore him. Don't offer to help out anymore. Only see him on the family occassion you can not avoid, and perhaps write down a few things to prepare yourself for the meetings with him. That way you'll be on your game ready to rebut any comments he brings to you.


    Good luck
    Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it. DLR

  5. #5
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 01:37 PM
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    I agree Phatie, I think he does this stuff just to piss me off. For the most part he isn't the one that makes the requests. My Sister asked us about the deck, of course we are going to do it for my Sister. We do stuff like this all of the time for family members and good friends. I don't mind helping people one bit as long as I feel its appreciated. The deck would have cost them close to $15,000 to have built. The paint job would have been close to $6,000. I did these things to save them money and be a good brother. I know first hand how expensive it is to have work done on your house. Last Summer I helped my cousin with a ton of shit on his new house, new deck, paint, interior improvements. Its like Joe feels he is owed these things. I am actually waiting for him to reply to the last e-mail I sent him, if it is smarmy in the least bit I am just going to block him. I would spam him back with stuff but I just don't care to spend the time playing his games.

    I don't think its just directed at me, I think its really his personality. Last Summer he had a week off, my Sister was still at work, he decided to take the kids over to Eastern WA. to see some of our family. He showed up at my Uncles who is a great guy, they sat by the pool for two days. When dinner time came he asked my Uncle what was for dinner. Now this wasn't a planned trip, he just arrived at my Grandmothers unannounced. My Uncle and Grandmother fed them and took care of the kids while he ignored them for TWO DAYS!! When it came time to head home he just waved at my Uncle as they drove off. Needless to say my Uncle is not fond of Joe at this point. He was telling me that Joe treated he and his wife as if they were a resort and Joe was a paying customer. Then to not even thank them, just drive off and wave!!!
    What a Asshole move!!

    I will always help my Sister and the kids, but this guy just made the NO HELP FOR YOU LIST!!

    How can someone be so fucking callous and or clueless?
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  6. #6
    Outta Space Cowboy Scotty's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 02:23 PM
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    Yes, in-laws do suck. Boy, I could tell some stories...

    OLO, the next time you feel the urge to leave the dinner table because you're that worked up, do it. Family-politeness should only go so far. You've obviously been pushed to your wits-end here. He deserves every verbal lashing you deem necessary at this point.

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    You're in luck, OLO.

    He's technically a fur-bearing creature so in the State of Washington, you can shoot him if you have a permit.

    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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  8. #8
    Good Enough Phatie's Avatar
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    09.01.07 @ 03:35 PM
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    Olo,

    You seem very cautious to be offensive, and most of your actions thus far in your description of this guy are defensive. You try and deflect his carefully constructed practical-joke scenarios and try to ignore it until you have all this rage that may end up in a nail-gun assault if you don't take care of it properly, and soon!

    YOu keep waiting for that next thing to put you over the top, but Bro, you're already there. Why kid yourself? Go Postal Now! Put him on block immediately, and don't hesitate. Then cut and paste the last 20 posts I've made on this board into consecutive emails, separately. Be relentless, and don't stop until all 20 have been posted.

    After your assault on his email, he may never speak to you again..hahaha and your problem is solved.
    Last edited by Phatie; 05.02.06 at 09:57 PM.

  9. #9
    Eruption Dimoncutr's Avatar
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    10.06.14 @ 12:51 AM
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    Dude this is not your problem, It's your sister's. You are not married to this ass. You owe him nothing. If your sister dosen't say anything, more than likely she's afraid to. Get a set of balls and cut HIM off. He won't change, he dosen't have to, you do. Stop feeding him. Make him realize that he is an ass. Ever hear of snaps. You need come backs fast. The Christian thing is easy. Tell him my religion permits me to say whatever the hell I want.

  10. #10
    Unchained Stidham's Avatar
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    10.11.14 @ 03:02 AM
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    Email him ALL of the pics in the 'Ah Beautiful Girls' thread. If the right wing christian doesn't hate you by then, well he'll probably be your best friend.

    Later,
    Dave
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  11. #11
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:57 AM
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    Just add him to your blocked email thread. Then when he asks why you don't reply to his emails, simply say "because you are on my shit list."
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

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  12. #12
    Atomic Punk jimmy812's Avatar
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    06.03.17 @ 06:59 PM
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    Default

    Dear Aggravated-In-Washington,

    The important thing here is that you rise above your impatience with your brother-in-law. You said you were at Xmas eve dinner with 10 people. Well take away that one bad apple and you have 9 other people that you can talk to and get along with.
    We all go through this. I have a brother-in-law and although he means well, he can be very annoying. It seems like most of us have to deal with people that we wouldn't normally choose to deal with. You can't choose family, or, in this case, in-laws.
    At least your problem is only annoying emails that can simply be deleted with the click of a button. It could be worse.
    Maybe talk to your sister about it. Maybe she can talk some sense into him. Or just suck it up and drown him out with some VAN HALEN!!!

    Jimmy

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
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    12.16.17 @ 03:10 AM
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    Default

    You need to stop doing things for him. Yes, I know it's your sister that also benefits but if this guy doesn't want to help and is a pain in the ass, don't bother anymore.
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  14. #14
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    12.15.17 @ 11:56 AM
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    Sounds like my brother in law! Almost exact. Although he isn't religious in any way. I took the approach with my brother in law that I am now taking with the rest of the world...if I have to wonder what kind of mood you are in or if you are going to take advantage of me (or attempt to) I am going to give you the exact amount of my attention you deserve. Zero!

    I was fed up with him coming over and lounging on my couch while I made substantial meals only for him to sit there and eat with his mouth open and food literally falling out of his mouth. Does he say thank you? Absolutely not. Then he stays 3 hours longer than he is welcome etc. etc. So...I just stopped doing things for him and stopped paying attention to him. Instead of feeling like I had to entertain him when he was over I now just go about my business which sometimes includes going out!

    To sum up...he was creating more aggravation in my life than good so I just stopped considering him to be more than just an acquaintance.
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  15. #15
    Atomic Punk
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    05.31.14 @ 08:17 PM
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    Olo, my friend let me help.

    First off, just ignore the e-mails. Just delete them, if he asks about them then tell him you don't read them.

    Next family gathering, if you talk about caprentry then make refference to Jesus also being a carpenter and how construction brings you closer to him.

    Look up his sports hero and dig up the dirt on him. Even Michael Jordan has dirt. Use this to your advantage.

    Remind him of that deck every time you see him. "Hows the deck?", "Enjoying the deck we built for your wife?". When you say "Deck" try to make it sound like "Dick".
    "Nothing is ever what it seems but everything is exactly what it is." - B. Banzai


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