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  1. #1
    Eruption lal5150's Avatar
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    dont ask i love em all
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    ARE U KIDDING ME
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    06.16.12 @ 03:16 PM
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    Default what washington doesnt want you to know.

    WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Our mission, here at Weekly News, is to bring you the big news, the hard news, the important news -- news that other media can't, won't or are too scared to present.

    Even if it means ferreting out information that, because of its sensitivity, is considered "secret" or "classified," our sacred trust with our readership demands that we share it.

    With that in mind, and courtesy of a highly classified internal document provided by one of our White House insiders who understandably prefers to remain anonymous -- here are the top five secrets our own U.S. government does not want the American public to know:

    1 Subliminal Movie Messages. The little-known U.S. Department of Thought Suggestion has embedded a multitude of messages into popular first-run movies and DVDs. These hightech messages, lasting no more than a fraction of a second each, promote such White House-originated agendas as "Support Our Troops," "Love Our President," "Worship Regularly," "Stay Married," "Love the Opposite Gender Only," "Vote Republican," and "Stem Cell Research is Bad."

    2 Robot Presidents are Being Created. Presidential assassinations and assassination attempts will never again be a security concern once state-ofthe- art federal robots hold the office of the U.S. Presidency. Making use of a downscaled version of Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robot technology, not only can the Presidential robots withstand the force of a 10 megaton bomb, but they never need to sleep, can work on up to 380 projects at once and can be programmed with intelligence, sensitivity and charisma.

    3 The Government Cannot Legally Require You to Pay Taxes. The government has for over 50 years been illegally prosecuting people in connection with income taxes in violation of both its taxing powers as contained in the Constitution, and the actual laws as contained in the Internal Revenue Code itself. If the American public knew what has been going on, practically the entire federal judiciary would be behind bars, along with nearly every tax lawyer employed by the Justice Department.

    4 Bigfoots Are Being Bred as UltraPowerful Homeland Security Guards. Three male and three female Bigfoots are being contained in a special breeding area at an undisclosed location in Alabama. Zoology experts are arranging for the three couples to breed. Their offspring will be trained from birth to detect and disarm terrorists, as well as infiltrate enemy encampments in disguise.

    5 Government's Bizarre Plan to End Hunger in America. In September of this year, the government will order all zoos in the U.S. to release their animals. The needy will be given hunting rifles and allowed to go after their own food. They will be allowed to sell any uneaten food to markets and restaurants.

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
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    F.U.C.K.
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    judgement day/ me wise magic
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    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
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    Default

    ?
    """"\//-/""""


    The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!


    www.myspace.com/mikesisca

    "If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday an actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even." T.RYAN, sharing thoughts on valentine's day.

    " SHUT UP, FAGGOT." - Vinnie Velvet, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    DIRTY SANCHEZ- It's not just for breakfast anymore!



    “ Originally posted by FORD
    History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
    (See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) ” FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  3. #3
    Master Bluesman Elwood P.'s Avatar
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    ADKOT
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    Soul Kitchen
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    12.13.17 @ 05:36 AM
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    Default

    Ted Nugent will like #5.
    "I'm the opposite of Bill Cosby. Diamond Dave always gets your approval." (DLR)

    "Kids, just say NO to marriage". (Al Bundy)

    Rawhide in "A"

    OAA

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    Chicago
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    F.U.C.K.
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    Humans Being
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    12.13.17 @ 06:12 AM
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    Default

    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  5. #5
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    Fools/All things Halenized
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    That's just too effin' unbelievable.

    But maybe that's what they WANT me to think about this.

    Whattabout the UFO's?
    Last edited by smithjc; 04.06.06 at 08:12 AM.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  6. #6
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
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    Different Devil
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    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by smithjc
    Whattabout the UFO's?
    Be careful what you ask for.
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, “Tokyo Dome In Concert,” is available for purchase, and it’s super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    Well if it means they're gonna tell us everything that's been goin on all these years I'm all for it.
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  8. #8
    Atomic Punk TheresOnlyOneWay's Avatar
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    11.30.17 @ 11:15 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by smithjc
    Well if it means they're gonna tell us everything that's been goin on all these years I'm all for it.
    There are no consequences to those kinds of questions. Ask Peter Jennings.
    Sammy did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    Michael did the impossible. He made Van Halen better. Deal with it.
    --------------------------
    IAMA I am a stage hand for big mainstream artists. (self.IAmA)

    Q: who was the biggest douche that you have worked with?

    A: Eddie Van Halen hands down he threatened all the stage hands that if we wernt all pushed to the side when he got off stage that he would "bash our faces in"

    Now the new David-Lee-Roth-Van Halen album, “Tokyo Dome In Concert,” is available for purchase, and it’s super, super, super, super, super, super, crazy bad. - Doug Elfman

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk smithjc's Avatar
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    Fools/All things Halenized
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    08.04.17 @ 11:33 PM
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    For serious?????

    J/K!
    RIP - Classic Van Halen

    "A lot of people take Van Halen more seriously than we do." The Diamond One



  10. #10
    Atomic Punk FORD's Avatar
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    All 6 of em!!
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    10.22.17 @ 08:55 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by lal5150
    4 Bigfoots Are Being Bred as UltraPowerful Homeland Security Guards. Three male and three female Bigfoots are being contained in a special breeding area at an undisclosed location in Alabama. Zoology experts are arranging for the three couples to breed. Their offspring will be trained from birth to detect and disarm terrorists, as well as infiltrate enemy encampments in disguise.
    There's some truth to this one, but it's not the US Government, and they aren't anywhere near Alabama. Actually, they will be part of the defense for the Republic of Cascadia.



    For details on the Sasquatch Militia, click here
    Eat Us And Smile

    Welcome back, Van HALEN!!!!

    ...It's the BAND and Dave is really the cat that can front VH. He sang his ASS off and was really cool. No cheese here guys, this is filet Mignon! - Steve Lukather's comment after witnessing a Van HALEN 2007 rehearsal

    "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears?"- 1 Samuel 15:14

  11. #11
    Good Enough atomicpunk5150's Avatar
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    All (except "How Many Say I")
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    08.31.17 @ 07:33 PM
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    Default

    "Question is,not does love exist,but when,she leaves,where she goes. I got a feeling she don't know either. Wait like the wind,watch where she blows..."

  12. #12
    Hang 'Em High perticelli's Avatar
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    fair warning, women & children
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    unchained,take your whiskey
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    11.30.15 @ 02:22 PM
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    however, the tax one seems like it doesnt belong in THIS list...
    Eddie is the greatest, period

    The Unofficial VHLinks RRHOF

    SkyyeFM-Radio without the Rules(Webpage)

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
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    07.24.15 @ 10:25 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by FORD
    There's some truth to this one, but it's not the US Government, and they aren't anywhere near Alabama. Actually, they will be part of the defense for the Republic of Cascadia.



    For details on the Sasquatch Militia, click here



    LOL @ Sasquatch Militia!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  14. #14
    Baluchitherium mistere's Avatar
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    Chicken Feet for Breakfast
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    07.11.09 @ 03:27 AM
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    Default

    I know we gotta figure in Daylight Savings Time and all, but wasn't
    April Fool's about a week ago?

  15. #15
    Top Of The World ACK's Avatar
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    11.17.06 @ 05:25 PM
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    Default

    We already have a robot president. Unfortunately, it's a prototype with bad design, poor programming and faulty speech patterns. Better luck next time!

 

 

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