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  1. #1
    Top Of The World jf9105's Avatar
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    01.01.09 @ 12:48 PM
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    Default If i were a gazillionaire.

    I would do this just like Jeff Spicoli

    THEREFORE I AM: Mazel tov! $10 million for a killer shindig

    By David Spates / Chronicle columnist

    What would you do if you were a gazillionaire? Iím not talking about a lowly millionaire, but a gazillionaire. After all, a million bucks doesnít buy what it used to. For this discussion, I want the richest of the rich: The person who buys a new Leerjet because the ashtrays were full in his old one. This is the person who has a Rolls in every color so he can match his outfit. Iím talking super-rich: A guy who brushes his teeth with beluga caviar. Well, OK, maybe not that last one, but you get the idea.

    I was reading about David H. Brooks, a defense contractor who recently threw a $10 million concert for his 13-year-old daughterís bat mitzvah. Iíll repeat that for those of you who are picking yourselves off the floor after reading it. This guy dropped $10 million on his little girlís bat mitzvah concert. It sure beats an old garage-sale Schwinn.

    Money like that gets you an A-list show: Aerosmith, 50 Cent, Tom Petty, Don Henley, Stevie Nicks, Ciara and Kenny G. Where else would you throw a $10 million concert for a bunch of giggling prepubescent girls but the Rainbow Room in Manhattan? At the end of the evening, the guests were treated to $1,000 gift bags stuffed with digital cameras and iPods. Iíve taken my kids to countless birthday parties, and the best goody bag theyíve gotten had a plastic Slinky and a Baby Ruth in it.

    After I read the story about Davidís blowout, I knew I had to write a column. Guys like that deserve to be mocked. Heís inviting ridicule; it would be impolite of me not to accept.

    But the more I thought about it, I came to the realization that David H. is actually spending his millions in a much more novel and interesting way than most gazillionaires do. In fact, if I were a gazillionaire like he, Iíd probably buy a few rock shows, too.

    I like it when gazillionaires do something interesting. Many of them are so dull and predictable: giant mansion, flashy Italian sports car, silicon-filled trophy wife, private Jet, 90-foot yacht, blah, blah, blah. While I suspect David has many, if not all, of those trappings, at least he was creative enough to spend some of his loot on something really cool. When Daveís dead and buried, no one will care about his house or car or yacht, but theyíll remember the shindig he hosted for his daughterís bat mitzvah. Events like that live on forever.

    Iím reminded of the end of ďFast Times at Ridgemont High,Ē the 1982 movie written by Cameron Crowe that made Sean Penn an instant star. Just before the credits roll, words flash across the screen and tell us what later happened to the characters. Penn played Jeff Spicoli, a teenage suburban surfer slacker, who ďsaved Brooke Shields from drowning; blows reward money hiring Van Halen to play his birthday party.Ē

    Itís just so ... ROCK! I canít poke fun at a guy whoís willing to spend his money like that. I donít care if the money is from Jeff Spicoliís Brooke Shields reward or David Brooksí earnings from bulletproof vests. If I had the cash, Iíd do the same thing.

    Thatís pretty tough to top for her 14th. A $10 million birthday concert is impressive, although I suspect Dad picked his favorite artists and not his daughterís. I donít know a single 13-year-old who listens to Stevie Nicks, Tom Petty or Don Henley. I doubt a 13-year-old even knows who they are.

    According to Forbes, there were 313 billionaires in America in 2004. (Weíll have to wait for them to file their tax returns to see how many there were in 2005.) Thereís no word on whether my rock-and-roll pal Dave Brook made the list, but he gets high marks from me.

    Numero Uno, Bill Gates, is famous for his charitable endeavors. By some reports he has donated nearly $30 billion over the years. Thatís worthy of congratulations. Iíd like to think that if I were that rich Iíd maintain a proper perspective and donate billions.

    I wonder what Billís birthday parties are like. He doesnít strike me as an Aerosmith kind of guy, and Iím sure he wouldnít hand out Apple iPods at the end of the night. A Gates bash probably would be Barry Manilow and Xbox.
    Kickin' back, ain't kickin' you

  2. #2
    Sinner's Swing! Sunya's Avatar
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    02.10.10 @ 10:42 PM
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    Default

    Now that's a party I would have liked to attended.


    Oh to be able to do a Spicoli. Wonder if you had the cash to throw at VH like that for a one time concert, if they would come out of hiding to do it? Wouldn't that be a party to be able to throw and invite all your closest friends to.

    I'd do it in a heartbeat if I could and never look back or care about the money I spent. It's only money and you can't take it with you. As long as I have enough left to take care of my family and I for the rest of our lives. Why worry about that kind of disposalable cash if it's there? I can't even imagine having that kind of cash.
    "Suppose you were an idiot ... And suppose you were a member of Congress... But I repeat myself."
    --Mark Twain


    There's no one as smart as a gambler at the track putting thier last $10.00 on the longest shot of the day.

  3. #3
    Eruption Junior's Avatar
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    12.20.07 @ 05:39 PM
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    If I were a Gazillionaire I would find some of the most pristine, beautiful, most fertile land I could find. Acres upon acres of it. Then....I'd pave the shit out of every square inch of it.

    Why? Because fuck you Greenpeace. Eat it.

  4. #4
    Atomic Punk onefootoutthedoor's Avatar
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    07.24.15 @ 10:25 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Junior
    If I were a Gazillionaire I would find some of the most pristine, beautiful, most fertile land I could find. Acres upon acres of it. Then....I'd pave the shit out of every square inch of it.

    Why? Because fuck you Greenpeace. Eat it.


    LOL!

  5. #5
    Eruption Junior's Avatar
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    12.20.07 @ 05:39 PM
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    I've been thinking about this some more ans now I'm just pissed off.

    How the hell do you justify spending that kind of money on a party? Really. How many people could 10 million bucks help? That kind of cash could support a homeless shelter for years. Help any number of families support themselves if they had a child with a terminal illness. It could have gone to a lot of places that would have put it to better use than a fucking party for a 13 year old girl!!! This kind living makes me sick. You can live a very extravagant lifestyle and still draw the line. That kids going to be one spoiled pain in the ass and I hope it all comes crumbling down.

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk ziggysmalls's Avatar
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    12.10.17 @ 06:47 AM
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    Quote Originally Posted by Junior
    I've been thinking about this some more ans now I'm just pissed off.

    How the hell do you justify spending that kind of money on a party? Really. How many people could 10 million bucks help? That kind of cash could support a homeless shelter for years. Help any number of families support themselves if they had a child with a terminal illness. It could have gone to a lot of places that would have put it to better use than a fucking party for a 13 year old girl!!! This kind living makes me sick. You can live a very extravagant lifestyle and still draw the line. That kids going to be one spoiled pain in the ass and I hope it all comes crumbling down.
    That is true but consider Bill Gates. I believe his is the most generous person in the whole world when it comes to donations. 10 million is a lot of money to us. However to a billionaire its equivlant to a couple who makes 100,000 per year spending $1000 on a party. That really is nothing outlandish....a little expensive for this type of party yes but in their eyes its not.

    Just think how many football players just made millions of dollars in the free agency period right now for just playing a game.

    Personally while I understand your concern, its their money. Who is to say how they should spend it? So I disagree with this post.

    However I do agree with your other about Greenpeace. If I won it I would capture all the Spotted Owls and hold them ransom. Disolve Greenpeace or the Owls will be served at a homeless shelter on Thanksgiving.

  7. #7
    Eruption te5150's Avatar
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    09.24.13 @ 12:08 AM
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    [homervoice]Mmm...roasted owl.[/homervoice]
    Last edited by te5150; 03.16.06 at 03:31 PM.

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    If i were a gazillionaire, I'd find a way to force Van Halen to tour. I figure with that kinda money there'd be a way.
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

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    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  9. #9
    Atomic Punk fast98dodge's Avatar
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    08.07.17 @ 08:14 PM
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    I think if I were a gazillionaire, I would have a couple of homes here in the U.S. and a chateau in Amsterdam to start...

    I'd also like to have a Nascar and an F1 team.

    One last thing, I'd buy all my friends new cars, whatever they wanted...

    Other than that, I'd party my ass off and try to make it to another day...
    Jet City Super Stealth
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    Austin Speaker Works KTS-60

  10. #10
    Sinner's Swing! graeme's Avatar
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    2, no wait, 3 chicks at the same time.
    A man could lose himself in a country like this.

    My blog at http://tollins.blogspot.de/

  11. #11
    Baluchitherium Leo Van Newhouse's Avatar
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    08.14.13 @ 03:25 AM
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    Make Vince McMahon work for ME
    THE PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT : Representing DAVID LEE ROTH in all his glory!!!!!!!!!

    JH: "How was your New Years Eve show at the House Of Blues?"
    DLR: "James...I AM New Years Eve!"

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    ANOTHER HOSTILE TAKEOVER COMING YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. #12
    I'm not really a waitress lazylizzy's Avatar
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    11.18.07 @ 08:49 PM
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    Quote Originally Posted by fast98dodge
    I think if I were a gazillionaire, I would have a couple of homes here in the U.S. and a chateau in Amsterdam to start...

    I'd also like to have a Nascar and an F1 team.

    One last thing, I'd buy all my friends new cars, whatever they wanted...

    Other than that, I'd party my ass off and try to make it to another day...
    Uh - you better order a black Rousch (sic) Mustang for RF8
    LazyLizzy
    I want to be an 80 year old Marathoner so I have to run 3 a year for the next 16 years

 

 

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