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  1. #1
    Casting Shade
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    05.04.08 @ 05:05 PM
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    Default Funny Story from this Morning

    This is a true story that happened to my roomate this morning when he got to school. Enjoy

    True, it's only 8:15am, but my day has already been made 1,000x over.

    Here I am standing in the entryway to the bathroom this morning, setting
    my backpack down on the counter so I can go take a piss. Out of nowhere
    this really tall and thin Indian guys storms through the door and
    essentially pushes me out of the way to make a B-line for the stalls.
    This guys wasn't walking quickly, he was absolutely hauling ass, almost
    a dead sprint, as if he was running in the last 10 meters of the race
    for his life.

    Anyways, he makes it into the stall and I immediately hear the toilet
    flush. I figured he was going to coat the seat with t.p. like everyone
    in the world does, but within a split second I start hearing repeated
    explosions being emitted from his ass. I burst into laughter and start
    taking a piss, thinking the story ends here.

    Little did I know...he did plan on coating the seat, those deafening
    blasts I heard were just farts as he covered the seat one by one with
    squares of toilet paper. I swear I heard this guy standing in there
    doing a little dance and trying to cross his legs while standing, doing
    anything in his power to keep this ungodly power within him.

    After about 6 or 7 seconds of hearing the t.p. unroll and be ripped off
    one by one, I finally hear the obligatory belt undoing and pants
    dropping. What I heard next was the most outrageous display of gas I've
    ever heard in my life (at least in person). I didn't bother to look
    under the stall, but I'm sure this guy's legs were up in the air Jeff
    Daniels' style (ala Dumb & Dumber) and he was hanging on for dear life.
    After the first round of the shit storm was over, he let out the biggest
    sigh I've ever heard. And not just a normal sigh, this was one of those
    sighs that ends in a high pitched 'whhhhhooooooooooooooooooooooo' sound.

    As I made my way towards the counter to get my bag, I hear him start in
    again for a short period. Then....silence. I am already in tears at
    this point and I figured the show was over. What happened next is
    beyond anything in your wildest dreams.

    I walk out the door and am standing by the water fountains filling up my
    bottle. I hear this guy release what can only be described as the
    single biggest occasion of flatulence and high pressure toxin release
    that has ever been inflicted upon this world. Unbelievable as it may
    seem, it was louder outside the bathroom filling up my bottle than it
    was in the bathroom with all the echoing. I can only assume from this
    evidence that this guy was somehow operating under restraint in my
    presence, like he heard me leave and really decided to let go.



    I DON"T KNOW WHAT THIS GUY ATE, BUT I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED IF IT HAD PLUTONIUM AND URANIUM IN IT.
    "Rehab is for Quitters"

    "It is not possible to have life after death since death is the end of life." -OV

    "What doesn’t kill you, will only make you pissed off!"
    -Alexi Laiho

    "If I know I'm going crazy...I must not be insane." -Dave Mustaine

    "Simpson, QUICK! Honk at that broad." -Mayor Quimby

  2. #2
    PM Goo with your concerns OLO's Avatar
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    12.12.17 @ 12:17 AM
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    Default

    Thats too funny. LOL
    ((Just My Two Cents))
    And thats about what its worth.

  3. #3
    Baluchitherium sisca's Avatar
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    06.12.16 @ 07:51 PM
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    Default

    funny story!! kinda reminds me of when i went to cancun, i was waiting to check in , so i made a pit stop at the restroom. i walk in, stand at the urinal to do my business, when in the stall next to me some guy cuts loose a loud, possibly wet, fart. while i found it to be both gross and funny at the same time, it was punctuated by the guy shrieking, "whoooaaa that burns!!!" . i completely lost it at that point, and walked out of the bathroom laughing my ass off. guess he ate waaaaay too many jalapenos.
    """"\//-/""""


    The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!


    www.myspace.com/mikesisca

    "If ladies want Valentines Day so bad either make Superbowl Sunday an actual holiday or give guys Steak and Blowjob Day and we'll call it even." T.RYAN, sharing thoughts on valentine's day.

    " SHUT UP, FAGGOT." - Vinnie Velvet, showing off that sharp wit of his.

    DIRTY SANCHEZ- It's not just for breakfast anymore!



    “ Originally posted by FORD
    History tells us that oppressive nations build walls to keep people IN, not out.
    (See "Berlin Wall" and "Likud Israel" for examples) ” FORD- when i told him i'd build a wall between the US and Mexico.

    then ill build it from the mexican side. -my reply.

  4. #4
    Good Enough rrussou812's Avatar
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    04.23.17 @ 12:14 PM
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    Default

    ROFLMAO

    Your story is going to be one of those that gets circulated all over the 'net, that is just too damn funny not to share.

    CLASSIC!

  5. #5
    Sinner's Swing! csm5150's Avatar
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    11.25.14 @ 09:53 PM
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    Default

    This is more of a joke to hear so hopefully it will translate. My sister worked at the financial aid office. Her boss, Jackie, goes to the bathroom. She's at the sink doing her hair or whatever, when another co-worker walks in named Charlene. The two exchange pleasantries as Charlene enters the stall. The two continue to talk. Not long after entering, Charlene asks "How are the kids doing?" in the straining to get one out tone of voice. Hillarious
    LSU Tigers 2003 & 2007 National Champs
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    If looks could kill, I'd stare at everybody!

  6. #6
    Good Enough
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    10.03.17 @ 11:49 PM
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    Default

    LMFAO!!!!
    -nobody rules these streets at night but me-

  7. #7
    Baluchitherium Leo Van Newhouse's Avatar
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    08.14.13 @ 03:25 AM
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    Default

    Hillarious!!!!!
    THE PEOPLE HERE TONIGHT : Representing DAVID LEE ROTH in all his glory!!!!!!!!!

    JH: "How was your New Years Eve show at the House Of Blues?"
    DLR: "James...I AM New Years Eve!"

    "To keep up with me, you must be fast. To sing like me, you must be great. To beat me? You must be kidding?" David Lee Roth

    "I'm gonna want to rock out w/ my cock out instead of playing anal taper dork." Colonel Sanders


    ANOTHER HOSTILE TAKEOVER COMING YOUR WAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  8. #8
    Atomic Punk ZeoBandit's Avatar
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    12.12.17 @ 06:17 AM
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    Default

    Nice!
    "What we are dealing with here, is a complete lack of respect for the law" - Jackie Gleason, Smokey and the Bandit

    www.geocaching.com - The site where you are the search engine.

  9. #9
    Sinner's Swing! 79th and Sunset's Avatar
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    10.22.17 @ 12:35 PM
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    Premium Member

    Default

    That is some funny stuff !!

    I thought we were the worst at my house.


 

 

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