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  1. #1
    Don't Touch the Dog There axebrian's Avatar
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    01.28.17 @ 02:56 PM
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    Default Happy Birthday Chefcraig!!!

    Ah yes, another year rolls by for my fellow old schooler. Can you believe this guy would have the nerve to call someone a "Hick"?...That's right folks, this cocky warm-weathered hippie flowerchild actually said I sound like a "hick" on the phone. Imagine a "prick" calling me a "hick" ...Sorry Craig, for some reason (after reading your post again) I felt the need to roast you

    J/K as it's honestly an inside running joke we have....Just ribbing you my brother .



    Seriously Craig...I hope you have a great one, bro

    In Craig's honor, I dug up a very funny story he posted regarding a memorable birthday he once had, and thought I'd share....

    Quote Originally Posted by chefcraig
    I'm pretty sure that every single one of us has had a birthday that was so gloriously lousy, we wish we could forget it...yet the memory (sadly) will never fade away.

    They can be comical (once seen a few years later), distressing or simply bizzare.

    This one fits all three headings...and I swear to the fact that every word of it is true.

    On the eve of my 15th birthday, my parents took me to a wonderful (now defunct) little joint called "The BBQ Spot" for dinner. My brother declined an invitation, as he felt "He" was the king of bbq.

    On our way home, my father spotted my brother in his green '71 Mustang convertible, and honked the horn and waved.

    My brother responded by flipping us off and yelling "Fuck You" at the top of his lungs.

    My father was less than pleased with this surprising greeting, and even less pleased when upon returning home, discovering about 27 empty beer bottles on the dining room table. ( I could never figure out why, if getting up to pee or get another beer, wouldn't it have made sense to throw the empties out, rather than allowing them to accumulate on the table?)

    In any event, when my brother staggered in later that evening, my father promptly threw him out of the house.

    The following morning (my birthday) my father awoke at the crack of dawn, hooked up the trailer carrying his bass boat, and went fishing. My brother, waking at the crack of noon, set out to the back yard to bbq a roast of pork on the grill near our pool, to prove his bbq mastery.

    My father returned from fishing around 3 pm.

    Now the motor on a bassboat can be set at several angles, one of which is straight out, to avoid accidental contact with the road while traveling on the trailer.

    In his anger at seeing my brother's car as my dad drove down the street, this fact must have eluded him, as he promptly floored it in reverse, crashing the motor through the still closed garage door.

    Undeterred by this turn of events, he quickly exited the car, and again threw my brother out of the house, albeit more forcefully this time.

    On accomplishing this, my dad unhooked the trailer, leaving the boat and motor connected to the garage, and hightailed it to the bar.

    My brother then took the pork roast by grabbing the spit from the bbq, and let it sail through the air into the swimming pool. He too then left.

    My mother, quite overwhelmed by witnessing these events, got in her station wagon to go tell her friend Mary, who lived 3 blocks away, leaving the dog, myself and a partially cooked, poolbound pot roast.

    In tears, I called our dear friends across the street. The mother of the clan instructed me to retrieve the roast with the pool skimmer, and bring it over.

    I did as told.

    This marvelous saint of a woman then proceeded to boil the roast, along with several vegetables, for a few hours.

    To this day it was the finest piece of pork that I have ever tasted, leading me to wonder if I should actually repeat the experiment, ie: cooking a roast for 2 hours over a hot grill, chucking it in a swimming pool, then boiling it for a few hours. (I'm sure my neighbors sitting poolside in our complex would understand).

    My brother indeed moved out, it cost my father several hundred dollars and hours of labor to fix both the garage door and the damage to the boat motor, and my mother refrained from comment.

    Yes, I've since saught therapy.

    Can anyone attempt to top that?

    ...craig
    Last edited by axebrian; 12.20.05 at 05:24 AM.
    ####......###,
    #............#.....#
    ###........#......#
    #............#.....#
    ####......###'

    February 10, 1978...The day that changed the Rock N Roll guitar world!!!

  2. #2
    Baluchitherium KT's Avatar
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    08.08.17 @ 07:44 PM
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    HOPE IT'S THE GREATEST YET!

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEFCRAIG!

    Here's a toast to you! I hope this birthday is one of your most memorable yet (and for good reasons ). I'm honored to call you one of my friends in these parts...thanks for all you add to The Links!
    Last edited by KT; 12.20.05 at 05:28 AM.
    Meet me in Cabo!

  3. #3
    Atomic Punk BREW CREW's Avatar
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    08.27.17 @ 09:39 AM
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    Happy Birthday chefcraig!
    Just go for it!

  4. #4
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.14.17 @ 05:22 AM
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    Default

    Happy Birthdate, duders!

  5. #5
    Eruption lal5150's Avatar
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    dont ask i love em all
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    ARE U KIDDING ME
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    06.16.12 @ 03:16 PM
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    hb chef .............

  6. #6
    Atomic Punk
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    12.23.16 @ 10:32 AM
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    Have a great Birthday Chef!


  7. #7
    Good Enough LittleGuitars99's Avatar
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    12.23.05 @ 12:07 PM
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    The big double C, happy birthday Craig, we will have to watch WKRP reruns sometime and go to a U2 concert....Well, one out of two for sure.All the best sir.
    "So what's your story? Any tread left on the tires? Or is it like throwing a hotdog down a hallway?" Stewie Griffin

    Detroit Red Wings

    GP 34 Record: 22-9-3

  8. #8
    Good Enough
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    06.29.07 @ 03:57 PM
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    Is that old so & so still kicking around!!!!

    May your b-day be a good day to ya CC!

    From 3-13 to 10-6 and NFC South Champs.....go Saints!

    My Hurricane Katrina pics

  9. #9
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    Here's to wishing you a very Happy B'day and that the coming year is better to you and your family than the last.

    (LOL, and the b'day story is priceless)

  10. #10
    The Frantic Antic TopTimi's Avatar
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    06.14.13 @ 10:39 PM
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    We shall celebrate soon enough my friend. Happy bday with all the gravy on top. You're a good friend and neighbor. Even if you do have a head like a turkey.

  11. #11
    Eruption KleeHee's Avatar
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    10.14.16 @ 08:38 PM
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    Happy Birthday to the resident level headed, open minded great sage of the Links! Here's hoping that you get more than a chlorinated roast this year.

    Have a good one, CC.
    The only adventures I regret
    are the ones I missed,
    and the thought of all the pretty girls
    I never tried to kiss.
    -DLR

  12. #12
    no stinkin click! muffdiver's Avatar
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    02.28.14 @ 07:54 PM
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    happy birthday man....

  13. #13
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
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    Happy Birthday, ya crazy three-string bass playin' bastid, ya!

    Hope you have a GREAT one, my friend! It's an honor to know you!

    P.S. - Party like you still got a pair but please don't get Baker-Acted again! LOL!

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  14. #14
    Hot For Teacher MEANBEE's Avatar
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    02.15.09 @ 06:47 AM
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    happy birthday brother from another mother

  15. #15
    Hang 'Em High jetguy5150's Avatar
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    12.13.17 @ 09:21 AM
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    Craig...all the best for a tremendous birthday. You share this birthday with such world famous people as....well.....my sister. Each year I pick one of the Christmas presents I bought for her and change the tag to say Happy Birthday. What a swell guy I am.

    All the best
    Jet
    Signature not currently available. You aren't missing much.

 

 

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