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  1. #1
    Baluchitherium Duke's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    Changes On A Daily Basis
    Favorite VH Song

    Ditto
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    07.10.17 @ 08:25 AM
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    Default Favorite SNL Quote or scene.

    The favorite host thread is a good one, let's try this.

    There are many great quotes, including...

    "Jane, you ignorant slut."

    Steve Martin's "Christmas wish list to god" from so long ago. I always look for the christmas "best of" show each year. Hannukah Harry,Danny Devito on "Church Chat" etc.

    talk amongst yaselves......
    Last edited by Duke; 10.03.05 at 08:57 PM.
    The Edge... there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
    -H.S.T

    This next part could really confuse things. Let's stay focused. #asis

  2. #2
    Atomic Punk LLFHS's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    Anything Mike played on
    Favorite VH Song

    Anything Mike played on
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    07.30.17 @ 08:59 PM
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    Liked 60 Times in 35 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    "What would you do on our first date?"

    "First I would push you to the ground, pee on you while chanting 'house on fire, house on fire, put it out, put it out'. Then I force to drink anti-freeze until you pass out. Then you wake up in excruciating pain with a size 7 poop-chute."
    LowLifeFlatHeadScum

    [sigpic][/sigpic]


    Your Hacked Nude Photo Here!

  3. #3
    Good Enough avhevhmashdlr's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

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    03.10.14 @ 08:22 PM
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    Default

    i liked steve martin when he did the king tut thing...

    also when chris farley did the motivational speaker dude...

    then there was anything john belushi did...

    and mr. bill....
    [On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
    The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
    "I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
    "I'm just trying to figure out why you donít have any clothes on," the deputy said.

    "Me too," Krauss replied.

    "Donít forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"

  4. #4
    Eruption lal5150's Avatar
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    dont ask i love em all
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    ARE U KIDDING ME
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    06.16.12 @ 03:16 PM
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    william shatner hosted and they turned the enterprise into a floating restaurant . phil hart man was doc mcoy or phil hartman doing reagan explaining how they planned to fund the contra through iran. some many bits some lines.

  5. #5
    Hot For Teacher Eddie's Little Monster's Avatar
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    Favorite VH Album

    Fair Warning
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    Hear about it Later
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    05.25.07 @ 05:14 PM
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    Default

    "I Gotta have more Cowbell!"
    now more than ever, the world needs Eddie Van Halen
    -Alchemy

  6. #6
    Good Enough avhevhmashdlr's Avatar
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    03.10.14 @ 08:22 PM
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    Default

    i believe it was phil hartman doing frank sinatra, and he was kicking bono's (adam sandler) butt

    that one was pretty funny...
    [On the House Un-American Activities Committee] "They'll nail anyone who ever scratched his ass during the National Anthem."- Humphrey Bogart
    The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done".- George Carlin
    "I just think people should be very free with sex. They should draw the line at goats." - Elton John
    "I'm just trying to figure out why you donít have any clothes on," the deputy said.

    "Me too," Krauss replied.

    "Donít forget! One sperm can ruin your whole day!"

  7. #7
    Atomic Punk Van Squalen's Avatar
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    12.17.17 @ 04:21 PM
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    Steve Martin: "And here is a thing I will tell you, that two most swinging foxes had the hots on for us, and are coming here tonight to let us hold on to their big American breasts!"

    http://www.wavsource.com/snds_2005-0..._two_foxes.wav

    Chevy Chase: "Good evening, I'm Chevy Chase ... and you're not."

    http://www.wavsource.com/snds_2005-0...hase_chevy.wav

  8. #8
    Good Enough extreme red roth's Avatar
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    Van Halen, 1984, 5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Today? Stay Frosty
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    06.16.17 @ 09:53 AM
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    Liked 104 Times in 44 Posts


    Donor

    Default

    Eddie Murphy -
    Convict Poetry

    Dark and lonely on a summer night
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
    Watchdog barking, do he bite?
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

    Slip into his window, break his neck
    then his house I start to wreck.
    Got no reason, what the heck!
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

    C - I - L - L -

    My landlord.

    Def!
    The Barn Burned Down, Now I can See the Moon

  9. #9
    Eruption lal5150's Avatar
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    dont ask i love em all
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    ARE U KIDDING ME
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    06.16.12 @ 03:16 PM
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    CHICO ESQULA ,BASE BALL BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME. (sorry about the caps)

  10. #10
    carpe damn diem billy007's Avatar
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    12.17.17 @ 01:39 PM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by extreme red roth
    Eddie Murphy -
    Convict Poetry

    Dark and lonely on a summer night
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord
    Watchdog barking, do he bite?
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

    Slip into his window, break his neck
    then his house I start to wreck.
    Got no reason, what the heck!
    Kill my landlord, kill my landlord.

    C - I - L - L -

    My landlord.

    Def!
    "Images"...by Tyrone Green

    also...

    "Isn't that special?"

    "I'm Gumby, dammit"

    "Oh, noooooooooooooooooo"

    "We're two wild and crazy guys"

    "We're here to pump you up"

    "Now is ze time on Shprockets ven ve danz!"

    "Never mind!"

    "Nah..."

    "Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture"

  11. #11
    Atomic Punk Raldo's Avatar
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    12.17.17 @ 03:32 AM
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    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Eddie's Little Monster
    "I Gotta have more Cowbell!"
    LOL I figured this one wouldn't take long to show up.

    I loved the Chris Farley motivational speaker lines.

    Other favorites were The Ladies Man, Celebrity Jeopary and the one with Jimmy Fallon and his Boston accent always being filmed by Tommy.
    Remember the Heroes - 9/11/01

    In 2012, the phoenix has risen!!

    "High speed, low drag."

    "Look at all the people here tonight!!!" - 10/5/07, 5/20/08 Mohegan Sun

    Congratulations to Van Halen as part of the Class of 2007 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!

    Cinco de Cabo @ Foxwoods: "A giant party with live music" - S. Hagar

    got tequila?

    http://keepitaliveforever.com

  12. #12
    Atomic Punk sixstring's Avatar
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    texas
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    Favorite VH Album

    1984 / 5150
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    the ones with ed on them.
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    07.20.17 @ 02:42 PM
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    One of my MANY faves was Phil Hartman as Sinatra and Sting as Billy Idol:

    Frank to Billy: "You don't scare me! I got chunks of guys like you in my stool!"

    http://franksinatra.ytmnd.com/

    CLASSIC...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "20 minutes (late to work)? Shit. Last year I woke up three weeks too late.
    My advice is to go for the alien abduction story. Look bemused, dishevelled and on the verge of tears as you recount your story of intrusive and degrading medical tests.
    Worked for me anyway. I still have colleagues asking me what it is like to fuck a green womanoid with seventeen breasts.
    Alternatively just walk in and inform everyone that alcoholism is indeed a disease and that they should be less judgemental and perhaps a little more supportive."
    - graeme on the addiction to this place.

    "something tells me that after the nuclear holocaust, there'll be twinkies, cockroaches, and a dave vs. sammy argument going on somewhere".
    - han valen, 6.11.04

    "in my best "saw" scary movie voice: "oh, yes, there will be beagles."
    - hatchetforce, 6.7.06

  13. #13
    Sinner's Swing! Buckeye's Avatar
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    Fair Warning/5150
    Favorite VH Song

    Mean Street/Summer Nights
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    10.30.17 @ 01:16 PM
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    Default

    Delicious Dish on NPR

    Margaret Jo McCullen.....Ana Gasteyer
    Teri Rialto.....Molly Shannon
    Pete Schweddy.....Alec Baldwin



    Margaret Jo McCullen: Hello. I'm Margaret Jo McCullen.

    Teri Rialto: And I'm Teri Rialto.

    Margaret Jo McCullen: And you're listening to..

    Together: The Delicious Dish, on National Public Radio.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Now, Teri, it's Christmas season again, our favorite time of the year.

    Teri Rialto: Actually, Margaret Jo, holiday time is when the most culinary wishes can come true. Now, what's on your list this holiday season, Margaret Jo?

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Well, Teri, I got real freaky this year. I'm asking Kris Kringle for a wooden bowl, some oversized index cards, and a funnel.

    Teri Rialto: Ooooh, a funnel! That'll be great for funneling!

    Margeret Jo McCullen: I know. I feel like a glutton! What's onyour list, Teri?

    Teri Rialto: Well, I'm only asking Santa for one thing - a big box of glue traps to help me with my excessive rat problem? Are you, Margaret Jo, gonna leave any treats out for Santa this year?

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Oh, absolutely, I always do! I like to leave Santa some tap water and rice. If Santa's anything like me, Christmas foods really reek havoc on the ol' digestive system. What are you going to leave, Teri?

    Teri Rialto: Uh, I can't ever leave food out in my apartment, because I have an excessive rat problem.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Makes sense. Neat.

    Teri Rialto: Good times.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Good times.

    Teri Rialto: Well, Christmas is a time for traditional foods and bite-size treats, and we have a very special guest today.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: That's right, Teri. He's the owner of his own holiday bakery, with a very, very cleaver name - Season's Eatings.

    Teri Rialto: [ laughs ] That's relaly funny!

    Margeret Jo McCullen: I know, it rhymes with Season's Greetings!

    Teri Rialto: Please welcome the owner of Season's Eatings - Pete Schweddy.

    [ Pete pulls up to his mike ]

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Well, Pete, Teri and I have been looking forward to having you on the show, 'cause we know you're the master of all kinds of Christmas goodies. Tell us about them.

    Pete Schweddy: Well, there are lots of great treats this time of year - Zucchini Bread, Fruitcake.. but the thing that I most like to bring out this time of year are my Balls.

    Teri Rialto: Mmm.. Balls.. Tell us about your Balls, Pete.

    Pete Schweddy: Well, over at Season's Eatings, we have Balls for every taste. Popcorn Balls, Cheese Balls, Rum Balls.. you name it.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow! My mouth's watering just thinking about those Balls!

    Teri Rialto: It's been years since I've seen any Balls.

    Pete Schweddy: Would you like to see my Balls now?

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Yeah. Whip them out.

    [ Pete places a tray of Balls on the control board ]

    Teri Rialto: Mmm.. wow.. you have some beautiful Balls..

    Margeret Jo McCullen: They're bigger than I expected.

    Pete Schweddy: A lot of people tell me that.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Look at that, Teri - the way they glisten.

    Pete Schweddy: That's because make sure that each one of my Balls gets plenty of oil.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: I can't help but, notice, Pete - your Balls are a little misshapen.

    Pete Schweddy: That's because I rested them on a hot stove too long.

    Teri Rialto: Can I touch your Balls.

    Pete Schweddy: Go ahead. But be careful, they're very delicate.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow. I can't wait to get my mouth around his Balls.

    Teri Rialto: [ sniffing ] Ooh.. I like the way your Balls smell..

    Pete Schweddy: Do whatever you want to, ladies. My Balls are here for your pleasure.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: [ chewing ] Wow, Pete.. I have to say - your Balls are so tender..

    Pete Schweddy: Well, there's no beating my Balls. They're made from a secret Schweddy Family recipe. No one can resist my Schweddy Balls.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Wow.. Schweddy Balls. Nothing like a Schweddy Ball.

    Teri Rialto: Good Balls.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Mmm.. good times.

    Teri Rialto: Good times.. Mmm.. our producer is telling us it's time to wrap it up.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: That's all the time we have today, Teri. So, join us next week, when our topic will be that other holiday favorite..

    Margaret Jo & Teri - ..Fragrant, Flavored Nuts.

    Pete Schweddy: A quick plug! If you order from Season's Eatings now, you can still send out a special Schweddy Ball Sack in time.

    Margeret Jo McCullen: Great idea. My niece would love a Sack of Schweddy Balls.


    Great site: http://snltranscripts.jt.org

  14. #14
    Baluchitherium loveevhsince79's Avatar
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    10.23.15 @ 04:49 PM
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    "Do you want to pet my monkey?"

    "Who shot Buckwheat?"

    "Hi Lisa, Hello Mrs. Lubiner" - "Hi Todd"

  15. #15
    Atomic Punk chefcraig's Avatar
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    03.07.10 @ 06:18 AM
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    Dan Ackroyd as Julia Child...accidentally cutting off a finger, blood spurting all over... "You can use a chicken bone as a turneket(sp)".

    Blatant Monty Python rip off, still funny as shit.

    The "Bass 'O'Matic...

    How about Jogger Motel? "Joggers jog in, but they don't jog out".

    "The Sinatra Goup" with Billy Idol, Sinead O'Connor (Uncle Fester), Luke Cambell and of course, Frank Sinatra..."Knock it off, I got pieces of guys bigger than you in my stool!".

    ...craig
    "The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."
    George Bernard Shaw

 

 

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